John Michael Kane Posted June 28, 2011 Share Posted June 28, 2011 i did meet her and let her speak. she was just very apologetic and sincere for what's she's done to me, my family and our friends. it was the first time i agreed to see her and hear her out, so it felt good to see her hurting too. as i have said, i don't know what the future holds if anything, but for now i need to heal myself and take care of me. i still love her and most likely always will, but any future with us would be almost impossible considering the circumstances. i will not completely rule it out because my heart is telling me different, but maybe time will change that too. thanks to everyone for caring and taking the time to post. She's only "hurt" now because she's in damage control mode. Shed a few tears in front of you, hoping you'd accept her back. I highly advise that you stay a safe distance from her so that you can compose your mind. Link to post Share on other sites
GorillaTheater Posted June 28, 2011 Share Posted June 28, 2011 Well Stead your reality is your reality. My reality, too; Robf was spot on. Link to post Share on other sites
GorillaTheater Posted June 28, 2011 Share Posted June 28, 2011 She's only "hurt" now because she's in damage control mode. Shed a few tears in front of you, hoping you'd accept her back. I highly advise that you stay a safe distance from her so that you can compose your mind. And JMK is right here. B_H, you need to stay away from her for the time-being for exactly the reason JMK states: get yourself squared away, mentally and emotionally. Link to post Share on other sites
John Michael Kane Posted June 28, 2011 Share Posted June 28, 2011 My reality, too; Robf was spot on. Okay good for you. Link to post Share on other sites
Steadfast Posted June 28, 2011 Share Posted June 28, 2011 i did meet her and let her speak. she was just very apologetic and sincere for what's she's done to me, my family and our friends. My hunch is she's sincerely sorry for herself. She crapped all over the one person who really cared for her and thus, wants you to know just how badly she feels. It's often then that our love and protective instincts kick in, moving us closer to a position of wanting to help. it was the first time i agreed to see her and hear her out, so it felt good to see her hurting too. as i have said, i don't know what the future holds if anything, but for now i need to heal myself and take care of me. i still love her and most likely always will, but any future with us would be almost impossible considering the circumstances. i will not completely rule it out because my heart is telling me different, but maybe time will change that too.Don't fall into the trap of gaining strength from her misery...that's a dead end. I see a major red flag in your last comment; be advised it is best to completely rule her out. And while some of us have a hard time turning it off, know that your concern for her is far deeper than her concern is for you. No one respects a doormat and you won't be happy being one. Be kind and respectful. Move on and let her live the life she choose. Well Stead your reality is your reality.Kane! You still here? Great!! I love my daily dose of comedy. Like... Okay good for you.Exactly. Brilliant! Link to post Share on other sites
Author broken_hearted Posted July 6, 2011 Author Share Posted July 6, 2011 So after seeing her and setting myself back I sat down with my therapist and gave him the run down. He said the same things you've been saying...take care of you right now and don't think about her and her choices right now. You need to heal yourself and she needs to heal herself. You are both in no mental state to make a right decision about anything right now. All you are doing to yourself is getting self gratification by having contact with her and then it sets you back. Why keep doing that to yourself? He said, that he has no doubt that he thinks I love her, but that he thinks I may be confusing love with addiction. He said she's like a drug to you...you know it's bad for you, but you need your fix, so you go back and then you are worse off. Well, I have taken the high road and asked her not to contact me at all for anything for a while. She agreed to do so and it's been a few days with no contact. It drives me nuts, but I know in the back of my head that in order for me to heal and move forward I need to stop setting myself back. I haven't been taking all your advice as maybe I should have, but I am only human and I think most people make these same mistakes after a breakup/separation/divorce and have to find out the hard way. Keep your comments coming and thanks again! Link to post Share on other sites
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