Layzie89 Posted June 23, 2011 Share Posted June 23, 2011 A short bit of background: Was with her for roughly a year and a half. She broke up with me about 6 months ago and I have been strict NC for the last 5 months. She started dating a new guy a month after she broke up with me and as far as I know, they are still together. She has only once contacted me since I started NC. She texted me about 3 weeks into NC asking 'How are you?' I did not reply. My ex and I (I am 21, she is 19) use to go to raves together with my group of friends. There's a big rave coming up this weekend called EDC in Las Vegas. We went to EDC last year as a couple. I am going this year, and I'm almost certain she'll be going as well. There was another EDC last weekend in Dallas at which one 19 year old guy died due to overdose. This weekend is the EDC in Las Vegas. It certainly got me thinking about her safety at this rave in Las Vegas because I'm not sure of her group of friends and her new boyfriend, whether they're experienced concert goers and what not. I want to text her just to say 'I'm not sure if you're going to EDC this year, but if you are going, please be safe. I'm sure you heard of the death at Dallas EDC last weekend, when I heard the news it just got me thinking. Have fun and again, just be safe.' I guess a small part of me wants to open the lines of communication again as I have healed alot since the breakup and am not the wreck I used to be. I don't want to be friends with her yet, but I want to keep the lines open and above all just remind her to be safe this year. Thoughts? Thanks in advance Link to post Share on other sites
wilsonx Posted June 23, 2011 Share Posted June 23, 2011 not a good idea her safety is no longer your concern if she broke up with you... take someone else and worry about yourself Link to post Share on other sites
JasonRules Posted June 23, 2011 Share Posted June 23, 2011 Break NC in order to accomplish what? She already had the guy lined up BEFORE she broke up with you, not after. But hey, if you want to feed her ego even more I say go ahead and text her. Link to post Share on other sites
Eddie Edirol Posted June 23, 2011 Share Posted June 23, 2011 Do not contact her at all. Youre trying to open communication because you miss her. When you do, and then she tells you how great its going with her new bf, you will completely regret it, and it will make you a wreck all overt again. Forget about her, and dont care about her safety. Shes a big girl, she can take care of herself. Link to post Share on other sites
Trovador Posted June 23, 2011 Share Posted June 23, 2011 You are masking (he he) your feelings... there is nothing worth of contacting an ex, especially when one could rebound again to square one... besides, she wouldn't tell you anything positive and maybe a "what do you care, ****?" Forgetting is not about not remembering but about not letting those memories to grab a chunk of our souls... take care... Link to post Share on other sites
Author Layzie89 Posted June 23, 2011 Author Share Posted June 23, 2011 It's weird after 5 months of being NC and doing well I just recently started thinking of her more often. Crazy how when you think you're doing so good they tend to pop up again. This is just a phase though, a weak moment and it will pass. All of you make made valid points, thanks for setting me straight. 5 months NC I can't believe I was this close to breaking it just to tell her to be safe. Thank god I came here first. Link to post Share on other sites
jacksonBrown Posted June 23, 2011 Share Posted June 23, 2011 5 months NC thats excellent you've done a great job so far, i would be proud of that keep it up, i'm on 1 week of NC i cant wait to have 5 months under my belt Link to post Share on other sites
Fufu Posted June 23, 2011 Share Posted June 23, 2011 Stick to NC, if you are self-doubting and questioning yourself over breaking NC. This just means NC is a better path. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Layzie89 Posted June 23, 2011 Author Share Posted June 23, 2011 @jacksonbrown thanks man. The first month or two of NC is the hardest but stick to your guns bro. NC is the best thing I did since my breakup and as unlikely as it may seem for you now, it DOES get easier and you will feel better. Jst give it time, hang in there bud. @fufu Thank you for the encouragment. Of course deep down I know NC is the best way to go but its these weak moments that get me. Im glad I found LS and im thankful for all the people here. The way I see it, if she wanted anything to do with me I'll let her be the one to contact me. NC has made me so much stronger without a doubt. Link to post Share on other sites
usabup Posted June 23, 2011 Share Posted June 23, 2011 @jacksonbrown thanks man. The first month or two of NC is the hardest but stick to your guns bro. NC is the best thing I did since my breakup and as unlikely as it may seem for you now, it DOES get easier and you will feel better. Jst give it time, hang in there bud. @fufu Thank you for the encouragment. Of course deep down I know NC is the best way to go but its these weak moments that get me. Im glad I found LS and im thankful for all the people here. The way I see it, if she wanted anything to do with me I'll let her be the one to contact me. NC has made me so much stronger without a doubt. She did contact you, 3 weeks into NC and you ignored her...she probably wouldn't contact you again incase she got the same result! Link to post Share on other sites
Eddie Edirol Posted June 23, 2011 Share Posted June 23, 2011 The first month or two of NC is the hardest but stick to your guns bro. NC is the best thing I did since my breakup and as unlikely as it may seem for you now, it DOES get easier and you will feel better. Jst give it time, hang in there bud. The thoughts of her will keep coming in waves, but they will be weaker every time, as long as youre keeping yourself busy, and trying to talk to new women. Youre doing great for 5 months, you can keep it up. Link to post Share on other sites
radiodarcy Posted June 23, 2011 Share Posted June 23, 2011 i'm sure we all understand the temptation. i'm in 3 months of NC and had to fight the urge to send him a super cute link to a rave cartoon i found (he's into rave too) and to send him a happy fathers' day text this weekend. both times i reminded myself that no matter how innocent my intentions may have been -- the end result ; getting a response from him that included updates on his life - - including the details on his love life or not getting a response at all -- would have had devastating effects. so i sent the link to all my other friends and saved the happy fathers' day wishes for my own dad just tell yourself it's an urge and it'll pass. it's good the you recognize that the desire to reach out is less about concerns for her safety and more about satisfying that urge to reach out. and you can always do what i did and reach out to other people instead. Link to post Share on other sites
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