update on situation....

[vader]

Hi!!

 

I had posted here about two weeks back. I am the guy who had trouble accepting love for my girlfriend of several years. Well.. for the people who had read my post, my friend had asked for a few days till she could decide what to do. I went away for 5 days and when I came back, she agreed to marry me. However, a few days later she changed her mind about what she said and said that we should try to first just see each other for a while to see how it goes. And again two days ago she went back on that as well and said that she wanted to give this other guy I had written about a try. She had earlier told this person that she wouldn't see him any more. What she says is that she is having trouble trusting me as all that she has to go by is not very pleasant. She also says that she wants to give us another shot as she this is what she wanted for so long and now that she has it, she doesn't want to regret not going for it. According to her, she is very disturbed at the moment and keeps contradicting herself every two days about what she wants to do. We spend one beautiful day together only to crash-land the next into indecisiveness. I have told her categorically that I know I want to marry her. This emotional roller coaster ride we have been on for the last couple of weeks is starting to become unbearable and I am at my wits end. Any suggestions or advice would be welcome.

[Deejette]

I know you are crazy about this girl, but she does not sound like marriage material. Marriage is a lot of work. It isn't about unlimited sex and gazing into each others eyes in bliss 24-hours a day. She doesn't sound like she'd be in for the long haul.

 

Peresonally, I would't even want a girl who wants to try it out with another guy. She isn't in love with you enough to go through the tests that marriage brings to a relationship.

Hi!! I had posted here about two weeks back. I am the guy who had trouble accepting love for my girlfriend of several years. Well.. for the people who had read my post, my friend had asked for a few days till she could decide what to do. I went away for 5 days and when I came back, she agreed to marry me. However, a few days later she changed her mind about what she said and said that we should try to first just see each other for a while to see how it goes. And again two days ago she went back on that as well and said that she wanted to give this other guy I had written about a try. She had earlier told this person that she wouldn't see him any more. What she says is that she is having trouble trusting me as all that she has to go by is not very pleasant. She also says that she wants to give us another shot as she this is what she wanted for so long and now that she has it, she doesn't want to regret not going for it. According to her, she is very disturbed at the moment and keeps contradicting herself every two days about what she wants to do. We spend one beautiful day together only to crash-land the next into indecisiveness. I have told her categorically that I know I want to marry her. This emotional roller coaster ride we have been on for the last couple of weeks is starting to become unbearable and I am at my wits end. Any suggestions or advice would be welcome.

[Rogue]

I know it's easier said than done.It's easy for me to sit here and say "Dump her" ,but you're the one who has to live with the consequences.

 

Having said that,I still say move on.You've done a lot to offer your love to her.If she doesn't want your love bad enough,too bad for her.You've already made your feelings very clear to her.Yet,if she was really in love with you she would have said "yes" and that would be the end of the story.

 

She doesn't need more time to think,she needs more time to grow up.And until she does grow up a bit,you'll be going on that emotional rollercoaster ride over and over again.Why go through all that pain for someone who would probably leave you anyways? Besides all that,every moment wasted with this girl means less time in finding someone who will treat you right.

 

You're not the first to encounter a girl like this.A buddy of mine had one of these indecisive types too.I remember it messed him up real good.She kept breaking things off,then trying to get his attention back .It was the same game over and over till he finally snapped.He eventually left her,but not before he'd been on that rollercoaster ride you talked about for months.It was painful to watch.I wouldn't want you to go through the same thing.