It's Called a Breakup because its Broken

[Ghosst]

I found this at a site called holliesquotes from a link posted on here by another member. It is a good read and so I thought I would share.

 

It's Called a Breakup because it's Broken

by Greg Behrendt and Amira Ruotola-Behrendt

There's no doubt about it-breakups suck. But in the first few hours or days or weeks that follow, there's one important truth you need to recognize: Some things can't and shouldn't be fixed, especially that loser who dumped you or forced you to dump him. It's over for a reason, and deep down inside you probably know what that reason is.

 

At the end of the day, it's about whether YOU like yourself enough to face the reality that your romance wasn't working.. to recognize that it wasn't giving you what you needed and deserved

 

Life's biggest rewards come from the biggest challenges.

 

Anyone who assesses you or your relationship as "disposable" is not worthy of your time or tears.

 

Just remember, though, that any reasons you come up with are ultimately irrelevant. The harsh reality is that even if you have EVERYTHING else in common, the one thing you don't have in common is the belief that this relationship can work. & that alone trumps your shared love of puppies, The Dave Matthews Band, and Mexican food.

 

A lot of the pain you are experiencing right now is actually fear. Fear of things being different then how you liked them, fear of never finding love again, fear of being alone, fear of having to fill your time differently. We're afraid of the unknown.

 

The person you loved took a good long look at the awesomeness that is you, evaluated your relationship together, and said, "No, thanks. I'll try my luck elsewhere." Or you said it to him. Either way, that alone should make you realize that it wasn't a match made in heaven

 

"I don't know" means "NO!"

"I don't know" means "I'm too cowardly to tell you the truth because I can't deal with confrontation."

"I don't know" means please do the dirty work for me because I don't want to hurt your feelings even more then I already have.

 

Awesome thought: The annoying thing that your ex did will never bother you again. I'm sure that your plan to get him back worked out in your head. I'm even sure that it worked out in some movie you saw. But your ex does not have the time to follow a movie script and you shouldn't either. Move on.

 

Every moment of pain, weakness, and discomfort puts you in a position to choose how you will react and how you will alleviate your condition. Calling him doesn't make it better.. it only pulls you back into the cycle of heartbreak.

 

He is the past. You are the future.

 

Messing up his life isn't the best revenge. It's getting on with yours and living it to the fullest.

 

One of the suckiest and most frustrating facts of life is that sometimes rela*tionships just end, often without reason. I truly believe that some*times both men and women simply run out of love, even when there was a lot of it in the beginning.

 

Before you look for validation in others, try and find it in yourself.

 

As much as it sucks, you need to FORCE yourself to remember your very worst times together, ..his most irritating habits and the hard truth that not only can he live without you.. but he'd rather.

 

You're giving an okay guy who cheats on his girlfriend a hell of a lot more credit then he deserves. He's a coward and a betrayer of not one but TWO women. He clearly feels ambivalent about you at best.. otherwise, he would have left this other woman a long time ago.

 

So many of us find ourselves saying "BUT HE WAS SO GREAT!" Yes, and the people who got on the Titanic thought they were going on vacation. Things changed and it's important to remember that they did.

 

Awesome thought: The right guy is out there right now, wondering when he's going meet someone just like you.

 

His regrets or lack thereof are exactly that- his . and not even the best little black cocktail dress can change that.

 

Every time you see him, you only make yourself vulnerable to further heartache. Do you really need further proof that he's getting on with his life without you?

 

The one who dumped you has had a huge head start on the healing. However long he entertained ending the relationship is also how long he's been emotionally extracting himself from you.

 

He was either partially or totally over it before you even knew it was going down

 

You weren't in the same relationship. That should answer ALL your questions.

 

You can love your friends.. ..you can love your family ... you can even love every stray dog or stray drummer that crosses your path. HOWEVER, you have to learn how to love yourself, like yourself, and put yourself first before you will ever find the healthy, loving, and lasting relationship that you've been looking for.

[Bito]

Thank you for the post. I am trying hard to take her off the pedistal in my mind and realize how crazy and ****ed up she really is. I must learn to love myself again if I am to move on

[nikkinicole36]

Thank you for posting this! This really puts things in perspective.

[Karala]

So many of us find ourselves saying "BUT HE WAS SO GREAT!" Yes, and the people who got on the Titanic thought they were going on vacation. Things changed and it's important to remember that they did.

 

 

I'm reading this book at the moment and it's just so good. I find myself laughing out loud every two pages. Definitely recommand it.

[coolheadal]

The old saying "The Truth hurts" Then the spouse lies to me that's really bad! When you find out the truth then it really a punch in the face as your world has gone from happiness to sadness really quickly... Broken hearts or not to move on takes time for most of us here. Those who say they can do it don't care too much. You have to care yourself first but the one you have loved for so many years has killed that love when they said they say those dreaded words!

 

I DON'T LOVE YOU ANY MORE! BUT WE CAN BE FRIENDS STILL!

[aiina]

this is a great book to read, not only because it helps to cope, but it has a "break through" part that really works if you commit to yourself and do it.