LK30 Posted June 23, 2011 Share Posted June 23, 2011 Urgh, seems like very girl I meet has a boyfriend or not interested. I've been online dating for months and despite various chats everything fizzles out or I never get any replies! I'm gonna give up! I'm 32 and lonely! Single for over a year :-( Stupidly look at my ex's brother's profile on FB and my ex had been messaging him saying she's been busy partying. She sounds really happy and expect she's getting attention every week from blokes. As for me, just getting nowhere. WHY did I look?!! Made my heart beat fast and I split from her 16 months ago! Just needed to vent as I spent loads on new clothes and hair style recently and it feels like it's been for nothing. I'm very upset :-( Link to post Share on other sites
coolheadal Posted June 24, 2011 Share Posted June 24, 2011 It takes time to find the next one. Online is crazy today so many hide behind the monitor screen to find that new one to be with. In the real world that's even harder because no one wants to talk to get to know you. Just have to get lucky to find that perfect one. Link to post Share on other sites
wilsonx Posted June 24, 2011 Share Posted June 24, 2011 STOP LOOKING ONLINE Thats your number one problem. I can honestly say Ive been on 100+ online dates in my lifetime, Im 29 years old and all of them were ****ing retarded. All of them, lots turned into sex, others turning into crazy stalkers, but people online have these retardly high expectations that theres always someone better then the person you are dating now. Even I did it. Get out from behind your computer screen, goto a bookstore, mall, coffee shop and start talking to people. Make a goal of talking to at least 5 guys a week and try to befriend them. I know you are a guy but theres a reason behind this. You need more male friends. Males are suppose to be the dominant one in relationships. So if you start hanging out with more guy friends and you become the leader of your group of guy friends... The leader of the men, leads the women. It's true. This is an old pua thing but its 100% true. Thats one of my goals every week. To meet and befriend 5 new guy friends. At the same time, I meet women too but I never befriend them, never. Im not going to friendzone myself. One girl I hang out with a lot today introduced me to this guy that followed her around the bar all night long as her friend. He has no concept that hes her puppet. He follows her aimlessly as she hangs out with other guys all over the bar Link to post Share on other sites
radiodarcy Posted June 24, 2011 Share Posted June 24, 2011 *sigh* i feel your pain LK30 i too am having the same issue - - only in my case i know it's not an illusion that every man i meet is already married/has a girlfriend; the ratio of women to men where i live is extremely high with 8 women for every man. what's most frustrating is knowing that my ex is having no problem whatsoever meeting other women and has probably found "the one" - - which i apparently wasn't. it's been enough to put me off of dating altogether. which has actually been a good thing. because i have been using this time to build up my own self-esteem via my own interests (like books and music and films); i have also been going to the gym more often -- instead of going 3 days a weeks i know go 4 to 5 days a week. having something else to focus on has helped me build my confidence and more importantly it has helped me remind myself that there is a life outside of men and relationships. it would be nice to have someone to share my life with but i can't bank on that either. better to focus on my own interests and work on being happy with myself . i think it's about focusing on what you can control as opposed to what you can't. new clothes and hair style may help draw attention. but attention is merely a foot in the door. try focusing other on activities and interests - - if anything it will help you feel less anxious and frustrated. the more pre-occupied you become with trying to find a woman, the more desperate you will come across - - which i'm sure you are not! Link to post Share on other sites
Sugarkane Posted June 25, 2011 Share Posted June 25, 2011 I have the same problem OP. When I like someone they also seem to be in a relationship aswell! URGH Link to post Share on other sites
Author LK30 Posted June 25, 2011 Author Share Posted June 25, 2011 Radiodarcy - sounds like I need to move to your town!! Wilsonx - Certainly worth a try what you suggest! As long as they don't think I'm into blokes! I've actually deleted my Facebook and Plenty Of Fish profiles and having some withdrawal symptoms! Perhaps I'll find love one day. I'm so tired of trying when everyone around me seems to be having no trouble! Link to post Share on other sites
aiina Posted June 25, 2011 Share Posted June 25, 2011 STOP LOOKING ONLINE Thats your number one problem. Soooooo true! this is first thing to be done (I wish someone told me this 7 years ago!) and everything you spent on new clothes and hair should be to make YOU happy. It's your attitude that will attract the next person for you an off-line life make you go explore so many things, that end up making you so much more interesting. Have you seen 'yes man' film with Jim Carrey? Link to post Share on other sites
Thierro Posted June 25, 2011 Share Posted June 25, 2011 Good to know you deleted Facebook and POF. You obsessing over dating and finding a girl isn’t going to do you any good. And “Single for over a year”? Come on, have some fun enjoying life without the desperate need to find “true love”. Calm down. Link to post Share on other sites
Sugarkane Posted June 27, 2011 Share Posted June 27, 2011 Its pretty discouraging when you get dumped and your ex has found "love" 5 minutes later. Link to post Share on other sites
thelovingkind Posted June 27, 2011 Share Posted June 27, 2011 I try to remind myself: everyone has their moment in the sun, and everyone gets put through the ringer sometimes too. Comparing yourself to your ex at this precise moment in time might make you feel world's apart in terms of happiness and satisfaction, but compare the totality of your life experiences with theirs and it'll likely be a more equal picture. For example, my first love broke up with me, leaving me in despair, and three weeks later he met someone he was totally, absolutely crazy about. They spent nearly a year together. During the first six months of that time I was a wreck - deeply lonely, insecure, drinking too much, etc. Then finally I got into a snuggly, cosy relationship myself, just as my first love was being dumped by his partner. So I ended up in a situation where my first love was apologising profusely for what he did to me, telling me how lonely he was in France and crying all day all the time, and I was having this msn conversation while I was tucked up in bed with a lovely boyfriend of my own. And so it goes. It's hard to stop comparing our lives to others, but if you're going to do it, make sure you at least look at the bigger picture. Your ex's moment of disillusionment and misery will come, just as certainly as your time for a new, blossoming love will too. Link to post Share on other sites
radiodarcy Posted June 27, 2011 Share Posted June 27, 2011 Radiodarcy - sounds like I need to move to your town!! hahaha! now there's an option! i must warn you though - - many of the people here (men and woman alike) are incredibly materialistic. that in itself can be depressing and frustrating. Link to post Share on other sites
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