dumbanddumber Posted April 20, 2004 Share Posted April 20, 2004 What does this mean?? I asked my girlfriend what she wanted me to give her for her birthday, and she said she wanted my heart. i thought that she wanted me to tell her I loved her and was committed to her, both of which I have told her. I feel like I have been the giver in this relationship, and now I dont know what she wants. I have been seeing her for 5 months. I asked her what she meant by that, that I was stupid about these things and didnt understand, but she just said to ask one of my friends. really helpful. What do you think she means, after I told her I love her?? Does she want me to marry her???WHAT???? Kind of PO's me to ask someone to explain themselves and they make it so difficult and make you feel so stupid, which maybe I am. please help me out. Link to post Share on other sites
BlockHead Posted April 20, 2004 Share Posted April 20, 2004 I’m thinking of Indiana Jones and the Temple of Doom. She wants you to rip out your heart and give it to her. How old are the two of you? Link to post Share on other sites
dumbanddumber Posted April 20, 2004 Share Posted April 20, 2004 we're both 19. i figured the rip out your heart part came in the divorce!!!!!! Link to post Share on other sites
UCFKevin Posted April 20, 2004 Share Posted April 20, 2004 Oh num Shiva! Oh num Shiva! OH NUM SHIVA! Link to post Share on other sites
Arabess Posted April 20, 2004 Share Posted April 20, 2004 I think she was telling you she needs nothing in life to make her birthday perfect except knowing you love her. She means it VERY romantically. I've yet to know a woman to say it who really doesn't want a gift as well. Link to post Share on other sites
magda Posted April 20, 2004 Share Posted April 20, 2004 I think it means that your love is all she wants for her birthday. I despise being asked "what do you want me to give you ..." because as far as I'm concerned, any material gift should be at the whim of the giver. Besides, how am I supposed to know I'm suggesting something you want to give me? And if you're thinking of something *small* and I'm thinking of something *a little bigger* what then? We really can't have me looking selfish or you feeling awfully bad. Plus, what if you've never even heard of *whatever it is* and suddenly I'm practically ordering it for you? I would hate that! hate hate hate. If I could I'd never celebrate another birthday - they are horrible and I hate them. People should just buy me things they'd like me to have. I am much happier that way than I am when I have to choose my own present only to find I get it in the orange color (shouldn't he have known purple is my favorite!!!???) Maybe she's like me. Perhaps you'd make more headway if you said something like, "Well, obviously you have my heart, darling, but I want to buy you something you don't have. You haven't given me any hints, yet, so I was wondering, would you rather have ___ or a ____?" And limit things down that way. Ugh I hate my birthday. Why should I have to do all the work? Link to post Share on other sites
dumbanddumber Posted April 20, 2004 Share Posted April 20, 2004 i hate birthdays too and they have never been a big thing in our family. just a card and a wish or something or something small. But her and her family treat it like christmas or something, so i asked her to help me out so as not to disappoint her. I gave her a chain pendant one time--a gold sea shell that i got screwed on in a jewelry store ($125) and when i asked her if it was Ok, she wanted to know why i didnt get her the earrings too. I didnt have the money, so i figured "it's the thought that counts" didnt apply here and maybe i should ask. (lesson learned - men in jewelry stores at V-DAY are just guppies for the sharks!! She probably thinks that thing costs 20 bucks). I think she not only looks a gift horse in the mouth, she wants a complete autopsy. I guess I should have just told her i loved her, WHICH I DID! But you know she wants more and I thought I was missing something. I have done a lot of other stuff for her which most BF dont do and takes a lot of my time. I enjoy doing it, and thought it showed more committment than just buying a card or sending flowers and such. But sometimes it just doesnt seem appreciated and now I'm gun shy when it comes to getting her something. My friend, who is not a "woman genius" either, says whatever you do for a woman is 1 point. roof her house--1 point. Buy her a cheesy card or a single flower---1 point. I guess if I did cut my ??????//heart out and put it on a platter she would want the lungs too. I think for her next holiday I'll just send her wishes and move on to more fertile ground, and let her figure that out. I don't know what else to do to show her love, other than tell her and do things for her and spend time with her, take her out, buy her things, make no demands on her, etc. maybe nothing is enough for her. Link to post Share on other sites
CurlyIam Posted April 20, 2004 Share Posted April 20, 2004 Originally posted by dumbanddumber What does this mean?? I asked my girlfriend what she wanted me to give her for her birthday, and she said she wanted my heart. i thought that she wanted me to tell her I loved her and was committed to her, both of which I have told her. I feel like I have been the giver in this relationship, and now I dont know what she wants. I have been seeing her for 5 months. Maybe it's her way of telling you she would like you to give a little bit more of yourself (I almost wrote your heart, haha) to her. It's not that she wants you to be more affectionate, just to allow her to get emotionally closer to you. That or a very imbricated suggestion for a gift... But I cannot help, in this area, as I may show that I am, again, too materialistic Still, red roses and a hear shaped (not diamond ) box of candies could do the trick. Link to post Share on other sites
dyermaker Posted April 20, 2004 Share Posted April 20, 2004 It doesn't mean you're failing, it just means she's not comfortable 'picking out' a gift for herself, for precisely the legitimate reasons that magda outlined. Don't make the mistake of not getting her a material gift, she doesn't mean it literally. Link to post Share on other sites
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