Different types of churches/christians

[Floridaman]

Well she did say that the husbands background is Catholic and it is general Catholic Christian theology that the divorced is still married in God's eye unless the Church declares there was never a "valid" marriage to begin with.

Oops. Forgotten about that.

It's been a while since I've attended a Catholic service, but yes, it does seem to be run by men only.

 

Still, I'd imagine most Catholics don't abide by that and get divorced anyway.

 

Consider myself a modern Christian who attends a community non-denominational church, more mainstream, I'd think, than some of the smaller sects that have odd views (like nothing but piano playing for musical instruments).

 

Am a "seasoned" Christian as well and am not intolerant of -- and now are certainly more understanding of -- other views or people who've done things I may in the past considered "sinful" (like sex outside of marriage).

 

As posted, future wife and I attended her Catholic church, where we were married. Originally, was reluctant to get married there as I knew the church's views on sex before marriage and I felt some guilt:(. But realized that was an irrational view, people are human, we being in our 30s and both hardly having any relationships before ( I "deserved" some sexual love you know - feared I'd end up single for the rest of my life:( ) and of course can be forgiven, etc., so I had nothing to embarrassed over or "be scared about" (like caught being naked in the Garden of Eden:o) getting married at that church.

Edited August 3, 2011 by Floridaman

[sally4sara]

Okay. There's more to this than just an atheist, for ex., objecting to an EX taking their child to a church, which is what I assumed. Sorry.

 

This church you're talking about, the one with those views, what denom. is that (or family of denoms.)?

Is it a small sect?

 

Are you being funny here? My entire family believes what I listed because it is in the bible and, short of the whole killing your kid for mouthing off, they will quite readily dish out physical reprisal to a mouthy child. Its the entire reason I don't speak to my family anymore. Having attended revivals, I know for a fact the amount of people who think this way in this country is not exactly small.

 

Divorced people are generally accepted by many denominations.

They don't encourage divorce, of course, but some of those views you listed are a little extreme, I'd say.

 

Methinks that isn't a New Testament concept.

 

I only learned this today. I do not know what denom his church is other than it is christian and uses the Holy Bible as reference material. The Holy Bible teaches what I listed about adultery and child killing and who is suppose to impart the christian god's word. In my home, for many years now, I have had as part of my reference library: christian bible, Koran, a translated into English Tanakh, and a couple books from the Pali collection. Truly not an all encompassing list for researching religions of the world but its better than none or one.

 

He said to me just now in an email as a rebuttal that he has been humbled and that it is very important to HIM that the boy learns this religion - one I was raised under with a very literal and stunted interpretation of the book he gave our son and have never held my tongue about my intention of not raising the boy under it as I was. One that my ex was raised under (altho his was catholic) and it should be noted that he "found jesus" before about 6 years ago and it didn't stick. It didn't stop him from DUIs, screwing over the people with whom he had relationships, lying, kidnapping the boy and taking off to the opposite coast or being an all around irresponsible adult so I'm not sure what he thinks he didn't learn in his formative years or his first ride on this born again merry-go-round that he will attain this time.

 

I asked him why, if he is so humble now and this is so important how he came to the conclusion that it wasn't important enough to talk to me about it first knowing my feelings on the matter, but instead decide HE knew whats best and cut me out of it. I have gotten no response to that question.

[Floridaman]

Originally Posted by Floridaman

Okay. There's more to this than just an atheist, for ex., objecting to an EX taking their child to a church, which is what I assumed. Sorry.

 

This church you're talking about, the one with those views, what denom. is that (or family of denoms.)?

Is it a small sect?

 

Are you being funny here?

No. Not intentionally. Maybe a little naive here, will admit.

My entire family believes what I listed because it is in the bible and, short of the whole killing your kid for mouthing off, they will quite readily dish out physical reprisal to a mouthy child. Its the entire reason I don't speak to my family anymore. Having attended revivals, I know for a fact the amount of people who think this way in this country is not exactly small.

What denomination are you talking about?

If it's not exactly small, shouldn't be any problem telling us the name.

Could guess but want to be accurate.

 

I didn't come out of any "fringe" groups, so to speak, though I was in fundamental circles in early parts of college (left that my sr. year) and have no problem with someone believing what they want to believe.

Just didn't enjoy attending services where the preacher SCREAMS and YELLS his sermon.

 

Sounds like you came out of an abberrent or non-mainstream group.

[sally4sara]

If it's not exactly small, shouldn't be any problem telling us the name.

Could guess but want to be accurate.

 

I didn't come out of any "fringe" groups, so to speak, though I was in fundamental circles in early parts of college (left that my sr. year) and have no problem with someone believing what they want to believe.

Just didn't enjoy attending services where the preacher SCREAMS and YELLS his sermon.

 

Sounds like you came out of an abberrent or non-mainstream group.

 

Sure and sorry I didn't share earlier. They are fundamental baptists or what others now term evangelical but with an added focus on avoiding modernism where suits them (its not convenient to go without modern comforts like the Amish do of course ) and where it might shed some rational thought the minds of their children. Preserving their female children from modernism is much more important as well. I have cousins that are fanatical about keeping their daughters uneducated as much as they can without loosing custody. But I also have relatives that are your garden variety fundie/evangelical.

 

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Christian_Fundamentalism_%28religious_movement%29

[Floridaman]

Sally,

Knew your screen name sounded familiar.

Looked up your posts and see we got into it a little bit, but settled it.

http://www.loveshack.org/forums/showpost.php?p=3145665&postcount=87

Some other posters in that thread, however, didn't seem to understand settling and working things out.

 

Good to learn some of your background here. Have posted my (limited) sexual background in many places, including this recent update.

 

http://www.loveshack.org/forums/showpost.php?p=3545148&postcount=75

 

That post was a bit of a rant. Let's just say I understand how some of these late 20s-40s "inexperienced" men are struggling.... as I once lived like them.

May have gotten "overlooked" by the women only wanting to date "bad guys," of which I wasn't.

My dating dry spell ended @30 thankfully...

Edited August 3, 2011 by Floridaman

[sally4sara]

Hahahah!

 

I still say you're all jerks. Yes all of humanity is quite capable of being jerky myself included.

[Eve]

:laugh: "Black" chuches? Wow.

 

I was raised going to "white" :lmao: church; quiet and boring Catholic services. Guess what? I am....black! How did I get in there?!

 

Do you bloody hear yourselves? I am disgusted.

 

What a strange response..

 

There are cultural differences within different Churches (where I live) and this is what I was referring to. Lady Day, in Canada do you only have mixed services and no distinct services run by black folk?

 

I do find it is interesting to note different cultural norms and know very little about Canada you see.

 

I have grown up in a culture that tries hard (for the most part) to see it as good to recognise distinct differences. If not, surely one is accentuating a sense that assimilation (for those who are not white) is the only acceptable route for expression? I do hear tones of this a lot on this board and see it as basically a form of closet racism.

 

So my reference was not meant as a way of exclusion, rather it simply was an observation.

 

Hope I explained that well and I do look forward to your response.

 

Take care,

Eve x

[quankanne]

Talk to me when you have experienced racism your whole life.

 

oh, little one ... try growing up in a small, narrow-minded south Texas hometown, where people turn on you because you're Mexican but don't fit either into the Mexican or white/Polish stereotype because your daddy (who was from there) was military so your family traveled and so your life's pretty much made hell. There are a good handful of us who refuse to go back there unless someone dies, and then it's for a quick grave-side visit ...

 

we all are exposed to racism to some degree ...

 

Sally, your husband sounds like a class-act JACKASS. And I mean that with great love in my heart :bunny:

 

not sure why his need is to attend a church that uses a punitive means to minister to it's people – him growing up Catholic & taking your son to Mass would at least give the boy a good understanding of a loving, forgiving God.

 

as for the divorce/Catholic question, no, the Church doesn't really accept it readily and leave it at that, but She does offer a means for people to return to the sacraments through the process of nullifying the union *if* it doesn't meet the standards which it considers it a sacramentally valid union. It's something my husband is going through as we speak, even though he's been married to me a good long while now.

 

... which leads me to this observation: Maybe JAHusband is avoiding his church of origin because to be fully practicing he's got to honestly look at his behavior to see how it contributed to the breakdown of the union. MUCH easier to join a new church where all you have to do is say the sinner's prayer and not take any personal responsibility. Just sayin' ...

[sally4sara]

Sally, your husband sounds like a class-act JACKASS. And I mean that with great love in my heart :bunny:

 

not sure why his need is to attend a church that uses a punitive means to minister to it's people – him growing up Catholic & taking your son to Mass would at least give the boy a good understanding of a loving, forgiving God.

 

as for the divorce/Catholic question, no, the Church doesn't really accept it readily and leave it at that, but She does offer a means for people to return to the sacraments through the process of nullifying the union *if* it doesn't meet the standards which it considers it a sacramentally valid union. It's something my husband is going through as we speak, even though he's been married to me a good long while now.

 

... which leads me to this observation: Maybe JAHusband is avoiding his church of origin because to be fully practicing he's got to honestly look at his behavior to see how it contributed to the breakdown of the union. MUCH easier to join a new church where all you have to do is say the sinner's prayer and not take any personal responsibility. Just sayin' ...

 

Yes I think what you say here has a good bit to do with this second attempt at a religion not his original. He is very much, even in arenas not religious at all, about being well though of by the people around him and not letting on about his past. On the day of our first meeting with divorce mediation, he pulled my lawyer aside and tried to set him straight about his character with completely lies because he wanted him to think better than he probably had heard.

[sally4sara]

I was out running some errands and this got me thinking....

 

There is a christian church in a suburb around where I live but I and others refer to it as the Korean church. The reason for this despite the fact that they probably have an open door policy to any ethnicity who wanted to attend is because the name of the church is on a big sign out front in Korean text. And yeah, mostly Korean people attend so it would probably still be referred to as Korean church even if the sign was in English text. I don't think calling it such means it must be a place only Korean people visit or anything negative.

[GorillaTheater]

"Little One" my @ss, old hag. Just taking the piss.

 

And anyone calling Quank an "old hag" can piss right the f*ck off.

[Floridaman]

Talk to me when you have experienced racism your whole life.

 

oh, little one ... try growing up in a small, narrow-minded south Texas hometown, where people turn on you because you're Mexican but don't fit either into the Mexican or white/Polish stereotype because your daddy (who was from there) was military so your family traveled and so your life's pretty much made hell. There are a good handful of us who refuse to go back there unless someone dies, and then it's for a quick grave-side visit ...

 

we all are exposed to racism to some degree ...

 

"Little One" my @ss, old hag. Just taking the piss.

Lady,

The poster there meant no foul.

And the woman you lashed out at for saying "Black church" meant nothing racist or untoward toward a particular ethnic group...

 

This Washington Post article uses the term "Black church" about the fires.

http://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-srv/national/longterm/churches/churches.htm

The people burning down black churches in the South are generally white, male and young, usually economically marginalized or poorly educated, frequently drunk or high on drugs, rarely affiliated with hate groups, but often deeply driven by racism, according to investigators and a review of those arrested or convicted in the burnings.

 

Please lay off on the language a little. That description is uncalled for.

Let's not get to name-callin' here.

[quankanne]

"Little One" my @ss, old hag. Just taking the piss.

 

:lmao: and here I was trying to be polite by not calling you "Grasshopper" !!!! (anyone remember David Caradine as a fu-master-in-training?)

Edited August 3, 2011 by quankanne

[quankanne]

jeez louise, folks – once I figured out "taking the piss" meant "pulling your leg," I know she was kidding, hence the Grasshopper comment!

 

while i appreciate you gunning for me, this time it was all in good fun, so lighten up, y'all

[Floridaman]

I was out running some errands and this got me thinking....

 

There is a christian church in a suburb around where I live but I and others refer to it as the Korean church. The reason for this despite the fact that they probably have an open door policy to any ethnicity who wanted to attend is because the name of the church is on a big sign out front in Korean text. And yeah, mostly Korean people attend so it would probably still be referred to as Korean church even if the sign was in English text. I don't think calling it such means it must be a place only Korean people visit or anything negative.

Good observation.

 

You could probably walk in there and worship, just like a white person could do the same to a "black church" and vice-versa.

No prohibitions and everyone would be welcome.

 

That's not to say someone might not feel uncomfortable if he/she is the only one of their race in attendance, but that's that person's problem if he/she isn't comfortable and secure with their life.

The other churchgoers would hopefully try to make that person feel welcomed.

Edited August 4, 2011 by Floridaman

[KR10N]

Religion isn't about putting on a good show.

Who said that? No one. The OP was simply pointing out the enthusiasm in black churches. Can one not be enthusiastic about their faith?

 

:laugh: "Black" chuches? Wow.

 

I was raised going to "white" :lmao: church; quiet and boring Catholic services. Guess what? I am....black! How did I get in there?!

 

Do you bloody hear yourselves? I am disgusted.

There's nothing racist about it.

 

Black people refer to an all white church as a 'white church'. Of course I'm agnostic so religion doesn't apply to me. But I have friends from various racial backgrounds who say white churches are boring & it's true! Us whiteys are so boring.

[sally4sara]

That's not to say someone might not feel uncomfortable if he/she is the only one of their race in attendance, but that's that person's problem if he/she isn't comfortable and secure with their life.

The other churchgoers would hopefully try to make that person feel welcomed.

 

Well yeah. We're all aware racists exist still in 2011. So if you were talking to someone about finding a church and you don't know their mind on ethnicity very well, calling it a Korean Church just lets them know what ethnicity is the predominant on at that particular church. If they have an issue with that particular ethnicity, they will avoid it. I'm sure the people of that church would be glad they did.

[GorillaTheater]

jeez louise, folks – once I figured out "taking the piss" meant "pulling your leg," I know she was kidding, hence the Grasshopper comment!

 

while i appreciate you gunning for me, this time it was all in good fun, so lighten up, y'all

 

Fair enough, and you're right, I over-reacted.

 

I apologize, Lady Day.

[Floridaman]

Fair enough, and you're right, I over-reacted.

 

I apologize, Lady Day.

 

Same here.

Sorry, Lady Day. Didn't immediately spot the smileys.

[quankanne]

vancouverite, eh? :lmao:

 

that still kills me ...

[Floridaman]

Well yeah. We're all aware racists exist still in 2011. So if you were talking to someone about finding a church and you don't know their mind on ethnicity very well, calling it a Korean Church just lets them know what ethnicity is the predominant on at that particular church. If they have an issue with that particular ethnicity, they will avoid it. I'm sure the people of that church would be glad they did.

It isn't just racial discrimination.

Older people often get short-shrift in hiring for jobs, as do people of a certain sex.

 

When I was entered the TV news business in the 80s, someone told me

"Fla. Man, you're lucky you're here. Many stations won't hire you unless you have a vagina..."

 

Thankfully, didn't think much of that when I heard it. Didn't want to fill my mind with negativity and self-defeat (always blaming others for my circumstances) and instead focused on advancing my career.

 

However, looking back, I see many TV newsrooms were filled with women, and not too many men. Same with public relations-advertising.

 

One man at a PR firm I interviewed told me "he really wanted a woman for this job..."

Wish I'd had a tape recorder rolling....

[KathyM]

I always thought it looked like more fun being in a black church. They seem more entertaining and lively. And they sing gospels and everybody gets really into it and enjoys themselves. Whereas white churches from what I know seem to be the opposite [especially in England]. You have to sit down and be quite through the whole service. It seems more restrained.

The church I attend is Southern Baptist, but it has a modern worship service. Contemporary Christian music (electric guitars, drums, keyboard) and singers who sing very upbeat contemporary songs. The congregation sings along, claps along, and even dances at times to the music. Very informal. Most people where jeans and street clothes to church. Most people are very passionate about their faith in my church. They'll shout out "Amen" or some other form of affirmation, much like what the black churches in the South do. And the sermons are very thought provoking, passionate and informal. Even the pastor wears jeans and casual attire. I used to be Lutheran, and the church services in the Lutheran faith were very formal and ritualistic, but I much prefer the Southern Baptist faith and the informal contemporary Christian worship. I get a lot more out of it, and always go away feeling uplifted and inspired.

[sadintexas]

I grew up a member in a strict Southern Baptist church...and it was a church "with money" and all that entails. My parents literally would drop me and my brother off at the front doors and return to pick us up when it was over. We always asked them why they didn't go with us. Their response was that they had to go when they were little, so did we. They were adults now and had "done their time" . I made the best of it and took from it what I could. Although I felt a bit betrayed by them at the time, I can understand their feelings now, and that church itself has caused my aversion to organized religion as an adult.

 

However, we had a "black church" visit our congregation one Sunday. I was a young teenager at the time. I remember them wearing the most colorful clothes and hats. They were so vocal during the service and sang like they'd never have another chance to sing. I was amazed as it was soooo different from "our church". I thought it must be so fun to be a member of their church and how I would actually enjoy going if I could be a part of theirs.

[taiko]

I was just on the Gospel Music Channel GMC. They have two video shows Uplifting Urban and Uplifting Pop. The sole determination for having a video on Uplifting Urban is not style or genre of Christian music played, it is the skin color of the lead singer. It is just so foul in execution I am suprised a big name televised pastor hasn't used the situation for a sermon

[FitChick]

I recently watched A River Runs Through It, directed by Robert Redford, starring a very young Brad Pitt. His father was a Presbyterian minister who said, "Methodists are Baptists who can read."

 

:laugh: