I kissed someone last night and my world turned upside down

[little tink]

hi,

so standard I kissed another guy last night it was only a few second kissed with a complete stranger whilst I was really drunk (i am not using this as an excuse i know what I did was wrong just setting the scene).

so have been with my bf for about 6 months and was seeing for about 6 more months on top of that and have liked him for much longer than that. he is the first and only person i have loved. we were real good friends before we started dating and i was still with my ex when we first met. my ex went to live abroad and my feelings lessend for him and i developed strong feelings for my current bf and we got together one drunken night whilst i still was with my ex however i broke it off with my ex straight away knowing tht this was the right thing to do. however me and my current bf took it real slow. we are part of the same friendship group as we all lived together in our first year of uni and i beive all of them told him not to get involved with me as i would hurt him. this really upset me however it was true after a year of being so faithfull to him a kissed another boy last night whilst I was out with girls from our group and they all saw. needless to say I told him exactly what happened the next day. he is so upset which is understandable. i have hurt him so much. I have got what i deserve I have lost the man i love and i have lost all of my friends and have no one else to talk to. i know what i have done is very wrong and i am not going to make any excuses for doing it as that would just add insult to injury.

i am a naturally flirty person where as my bf he is very quiet and keeps himself to himself i would critisise me for talking so much to every one i met. i guess he was right to complain.

[OhMittens]

Give him time and space (if he needs it) to deal with this. If he decides to forgive you I'd say lay off the alcohol some in the future.

[Bryanp]

I think you are way too hard on yourself. You had one kiss while drunk and apologized immediately. You have learned a lesson to watch how much you drink. One kiss is not the end of the world. On the other hand you might want to imagine how you would feel if the roles were reversed. Before you ever engage in activities that you are not sure of; ask yourself would you want your significant other to do that to me?

 

Again let it go and stop being so hard on yourself. You are young and we all make mistakes from time to time.

[PegNosePete]

I will respectfully disagree with Bryanp for probably the first time ever!

 

Since you also cheated on your last BF (with the current ex) there is a pattern developing here. You are living proof that, "if she cheats with you, she'll cheat on you". You really need to treat people better because one day it will come around and bite you on the arse.

 

If you are "naturally flirty" then you need to stay single until you mature, or find someone to whom you can stay faithful.

[Skump]

my ex went to live abroad and my feelings lessend for him and i developed strong feelings for my current bf and we got together one drunken night whilst i still was with my ex however i broke it off with my ex straight away knowing tht this was the right thing to do.

 

Uh, are you seeing a pattern yet?

 

Pro Tip 1 - Stop getting drunk.

 

Pro Tip 2 - Stop acting like a tart.

 

Oh, and for the peanut gallery: If your squeeze's idea of fun is getting plastered with the boys or girls in your absence, you will get cheated on eventually. Bet on that.

[reservoirdog1]

Uh, are you seeing a pattern yet?

 

Pro Tip 1 - Stop getting drunk.

 

Pro Tip 2 - Stop acting like a tart.

 

Oh, and for the peanut gallery: If your squeeze's idea of fun is getting plastered with the boys or girls in your absence, you will get cheated on eventually. Bet on that.

Can't argue with this...

[imagine]

Sorry girl, I'm with Skump!

[jnj express]

If your BF---is a quiet, shy, nice guy type, you have a major problem, you have hurt him deeply, and it doesn't matter that it was a kiss, you were with another guy---that is what his sub-conscious, is throwing up to him

 

If you do get him back, you need to be with him, and not your drinking buddies, and you need to drinking---you do not need to flirt, and drink---

 

You need to start a heavy campaign to win your BF---back---do what ever is necessary---but do it face to face---no computer, or cellphone involvement---go see him, and do what you can

[Untouchable_Fire]

i am a naturally flirty person where as my bf he is very quiet and keeps himself to himself i would critisise me for talking so much to every one i met. i guess he was right to complain.

 

I applaud your honesty and the fact that you face up to the things you do wrong. That is how I know you are a good person despite making some mistakes.

 

My suggestion would be to take some time to get a handle on why you do this to yourself. Ultimately you are the person most hurt by these actions. Why are you self sabotaging? It seems most of your friendgroup sees that about you as well. Is it just the alcohol lowering your inhibitions? Perhaps you should avoid drinking socially.

 

Anyway... it hurts now, but in the long run this will help you grow. Your BF may get past this and come back to you. Otherwise, you will love again.

[Feelin Frisky]

Welcome to Love Shack. Tough noogies.

 

As an aside, I'm never in favor of telling your love about something like this if it was truly just a one-time thing and you're remorseful about it and resolve not to do it again. Every person knows the truth about themselves--either it was something that is out of character for which one is truly regretful, or it IS his or her character and THEN they should tell their love. I wouldn't want to know, you'd have to suffer the secret. That's me. I've heard all the opposing views on this and won't be going back. Good luck.

[Ginger Beer]

This thread is the reason why I say it doesn't matter if you trust you're SO, you shouldn't place yourself in situations where cheating becomes possible.

[PegNosePete]

This thread is the reason why I say it doesn't matter if you trust you're SO, you shouldn't place yourself in situations where cheating becomes possible.

If you're a cheater, cheating is possible in any situation.

[RepairMinded]

I kissed another guy last night it was only a few second kissed with a complete stranger whilst I was really drunk

 

A drunk cheater with poor grammar.

 

Three strikes and you're out.

[little tink]

hi

 

thanks for all of your responses. I am taking them all on board.

I am very lucky in the fact my bf has forgiven me and we are really good. He took me away for the weekend for some time out time from my life which I had really needed. I am currently seeing a counceller to help me work out some stuff and yes i am going to work on not drinking despite the big student culture for it. also sorry for my poor grammer I am completely dyslexic and that kinda affects that i guess.

 

Thanks again guys!