DoubleRainbow Posted June 25, 2011 Share Posted June 25, 2011 How do I react and still don't hurt myself? This guy and I are co-workers(both single, same age), same department. He started giving me signals 5-6 months back, the affection in his eyes cannot be misinterpretted, he did everything possible( non-verbal, and (indirect verbal) to make me understand that he was interested in me. My guards were up initially(due to personal losses,I did not date/consider someone for past 9 years) but then I started liking him, too. Gradually, I developed feelings for him, got emotionally attached to him. He did see and acknowldge this change. We had not really dated, yet. Then, the unexpected happened. He shut down completely on me, stopped talking to me, started ignoring me. I did try to ask but did not get a concrete answer. I so want him back...things back to normal, but apparently he does not know what he wants.I was and am obviously very hurt. But then I cannot impose myself on him. As a result of his changed attitude, I am very confused, I keep thinking about him, miss him a lot.I cant eat/sleep right. Its been 2 weeks that he is out for a 2-month out-of-state assignment. After his return, we have been asked to work on a project together, with another colleague. This will be a big emotional torture for me. I don't know how to react so that it does not make a gossip about us, I am still cordial and my feelings are not hurt. Please help!!! Link to post Share on other sites
light_vader Posted June 25, 2011 Share Posted June 25, 2011 I so want him back...things back to normal What things? Seems like you guys never had anything at all before. From my point of view, you are really emotionally attached to this guy. But he is emotionally unavailable, at least for you. Whether he felt something before or not, seems like he's either playing games, playing hard to get, or just moved on... Do you wanna waste your life waiting for this guy to be emotionally available if at all? "There is plenty of fish in the sea" as they say... and eventually you'll find someone who is that way. Also I think you're making a mistake by keeping your guards up. Whether you had bad experiences in the past or not... it doesn't really matter when it comes to meet a NEW person. You shouldn't by default think they're gonna hurt you like the other one did or they'll threat you bad or whatever, otherwise you'll spend the rest of your life tossing out possibilities in favor of your fear. Take my case. If I was that way then I'd NEVER date another girl in my life, thinking they'll all turn into whores, they'll all cheat on me, they'll all make me feel like **** and the list goes on. But nope. And building limits is totally fine, as a matter of fact having a no-bull**** policy is great, but that only should come in play when the other person is committing a fault, not before the game even starts! You know what I mean? Link to post Share on other sites
Author DoubleRainbow Posted June 25, 2011 Author Share Posted June 25, 2011 From my point of view, you are really emotionally attached to this guy. But he is emotionally unavailable, at least for you. Whether he felt something before or not, seems like he's either playing games, playing hard to get, or just moved on... Do you wanna waste your life waiting for this guy to be emotionally available if at all? Thanks so much, LightVader! Yea, I also feel that he is just playing games n I am unnecessary wasting my emotions, and should move on. I will keep your suggestions in mind for future, as well! Link to post Share on other sites
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