kittycat95 Posted June 25, 2011 Share Posted June 25, 2011 but rather than really missing him, been thinking about the hurt and pain i put up with. made me cry... Link to post Share on other sites
just_scott Posted June 25, 2011 Share Posted June 25, 2011 know what you're going through ,it's happening here and it sucks My ex walked out on me a little over a month ago after a 4 yr relationship no reason or anything ,i lie in bed my mind just goes all over the place i'm thinking why am i hurting so much over this woman who just walked out on me ,when is it going to stop , i wonder if shes lieing in her bed thinking of me ,does she miss lying next to me ,what have i done wrong etc .AND i have to fight myself from picking up the phone to call her [ she'd ignore the call anyways ] we've been in N.C. a month now THOUGH the thoughts were more stronger at the begining they do get somewhat easier ,it's something i guess we have to go through i'm still waiting for my phone to ring , or a knock on my door and it be her [i've ran soo many scenerios through my head ] Link to post Share on other sites
Author kittycat95 Posted June 25, 2011 Author Share Posted June 25, 2011 thank you for the replies =) Well I had my 2nd night of nightmares...last night it was a really weird, violent nightmare. Towards the end there was a man who tackled a woman down and then began cutting her throat/carving some shape into her throat. Meanwhile she was like, you'll never kill my voice! It was totally bizarre. I've been noticing that all my submerged feelings about my ex come out the longer I don't speak with him... I've been in a weird mood since he called me the other day and sort of muttered "I can take anything you dish out at me, I want to be with you" - But- he didn't pursue it at all, didn't contact me AT ALL after that, didn't even reply to the text I sent him with a smiley face about 4 hours after our phone call. I wonder if I should have engaged that, what he said, and said, why, why do you feel that way? And heard him talk...but instead I sort of cried, and said I didn't really want to talk and that it wasn't right to talk, and got off the phone in a hurry. Damn regrets and horrible thoughts... But if he wanted to, he could have called me or something. It's been damn near 48 hours now. I guess I have to stop dwelling on that little call and let it go . Link to post Share on other sites
coolheadal Posted June 25, 2011 Share Posted June 25, 2011 It's called hurt. You need to go and stay with your family like parents or close friend you can trust with your feelings. Don't stay by yourself it will just hurt more. I've been there myself I know the feeling. But remember this your here at this site for a reason. Here you can tells all who have been through it like you your feelings. We're actually the next best thing to a person who cares about you as a person. I wish I could do more but just typing this is as best as I can get. I am hurting as I am typing this to you too. I think of other things to keep my mine focus and put up a wall so I don't break down even more. Take care of yourself! Remember in your mine you have others like yourself here who are here for you! Link to post Share on other sites
Wesker Posted June 25, 2011 Share Posted June 25, 2011 I know that feeling for sure. Thing for me is that I actually don't have trouble sleeping at night. It's waking up in the morning that really gets to me since she's no longer there, after almost 8 years together. I do think about her at night trying to piece together what exactly went wrong, things to work on, and what to do if/when she would call me up. Link to post Share on other sites
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