quietGuy13 Posted June 25, 2011 Share Posted June 25, 2011 The other places were gonna charme anywhere form 80 to 140 dollars per session. NO WAY!! So i found the low cost therapy and i'm going on monday. The thing with therapy though is that, i don't understand how it will help me be more confident if the reason i'm not confident is cause i suck at speaking, and my speaking won't improve all of a sudden. I mean, my vocab is like a 4 year old's vocabulary. And to catch up to typical 30 year olds I would have to increase that by lots....PLUS understand things and concepts. That will take me 20 more years to achieve. So that means if i start now trying to change, It will take 20 years so i will be like 50 when i'm finally able to be good at speaking. So, it means, i won't be confident now, nor next year nor in 3 years etc..and i will not be able to get jobs until i'm 50?? Link to post Share on other sites
alethean Posted June 25, 2011 Share Posted June 25, 2011 With the way you write, I find it hard to believe that you have the vocab of a 4 year old. I've seen people on here who write much worse than you do. I understand that speaking and writing are not necessarily the same thing, but the fact that you can write means that you do have the potential to speak well. Secondly, you seem to have a tendency to form catastrophes from your thoughts, like your conclusion that it will take you 20 years to develop a normal vocabulary, and therefore you won't be able to function for 20 years. Where did you get that information from anyway? Yes, you can guess, but it's not necessarily true. Therapy might be able to help you combat those thoughts. (Also, it's better to take 20 years than never improving.) That said, I am glad you found the therapy and hope it works for you. Give it an honest effort, and if it doesn't work, at least you could say you tried. Link to post Share on other sites
The Great Gazoo Posted June 25, 2011 Share Posted June 25, 2011 Best way to increase your vocabulary is to read every day Link to post Share on other sites
carhill Posted June 25, 2011 Share Posted June 25, 2011 OP, good therapy is worth what you pay for it. Save for that occasional genius, insightful college student who's doing it for free through the school's psych department as part of his/her coursework, you'll find very few people with the requisite credentials and license to be a therapist/counselor to accept 20.00 per hour. I presume you've had speech therapy, or is that what this is? I saw the value of such therapy, as my mom had to learn how to talk all over again after her stroke. She couldn't put words together properly and there was a 'delay' in the processing. It took about six months of outpatient therapy, in addition to the inpatient work after the stroke, to get most of her speech back. That was working with highly compensated professionals. Give it a try and keep an open mind. A couple times a week for a month should give you an accurate overview of efficacy. Good luck Link to post Share on other sites
betterdeal Posted June 25, 2011 Share Posted June 25, 2011 Good for you, quietguy. Don't get disheartened by what seems like an insurmountable task. You are already more confident. I know this because you have been looking for, and have found, a therapist at a price you're happy with. This is persistence on your part, which is a sign that you are getting more confident. You set yourself a task, kept at it, and it's paid off. I disagree with carhill. Price is not the only indicator of quality. Your enthusiasm to make change is a major factor. How you use the sessions is a major factor. Even finding a therapist who isn't what you want right now is a learning step. My first therapist was cheap, and was just starting out, and the sessions helped me immensely. Having spoken to several people in the trade, a lot of therapists justify higher prices because it gives the client a sense of price reassurance and commitment to make it work. Hypnotherapists who charge £120 for smoking cessation sessions get people who are determined to quit and will put a lot of money on the line. Those that charge £40 per session may get more of the less committed people. But both therapists do exactly the same thing as each other. It's just the client that changes. So, you can make as much or as little as you like of those sessions, regardless of the cost, in my experience. Link to post Share on other sites
SpiralOut Posted June 25, 2011 Share Posted June 25, 2011 Whenever I feel discouraged about something that will take a long time to complete, I ask myself this: where will I be in 5 years (or 10, 20 years) if I DON"T do this thing? The answer is that it will be 5 years (or 10, 20 years) later anyway! In 20 years you'll be 50 anyway no matter what you do now. So for the sake of your future-self, it may be worth it to put in the time and effort and don't give up. Which I don't think you will give up, because you seem very determined about this. Not many people actually take the initiative to try and fix something in their life they are unhappy about, so kudos to you for taking that step. Link to post Share on other sites
denise_xo Posted June 25, 2011 Share Posted June 25, 2011 OP, don't create additional problems before you start. There is a simple thought to guide you: the best way is forward. Take it one step at the time. Good luck. Link to post Share on other sites
cerridwen Posted June 26, 2011 Share Posted June 26, 2011 Good luck with your therapy tomorrow, quietGuy. If you're still worried about the amount of time you'll need to reach your goals, discuss it with your therapist. He or she can help you seize control of those concerns, so they don't discourage you or upset you further. This is a wonderful step forward!! Best to you! Link to post Share on other sites
Author quietGuy13 Posted June 27, 2011 Author Share Posted June 27, 2011 Good luck with your therapy tomorrow, quietGuy. If you're still worried about the amount of time you'll need to reach your goals, discuss it with your therapist. He or she can help you seize control of those concerns, so they don't discourage you or upset you further. This is a wonderful step forward!! Best to you! Hi Thanks I went today. Today i just had assesment. They just asked me to tel them more about why i want therapy. so i did. They said they would match me with a counselor/therapist. Next time i'll tell them how i can't speak. But they don't quite get it. Link to post Share on other sites
betterdeal Posted June 27, 2011 Share Posted June 27, 2011 What does it feel like, physically, when you can't speak, and when does this happen? Link to post Share on other sites
carhill Posted June 27, 2011 Share Posted June 27, 2011 A good therapist should already have made notes of your speech issues during the assessment. If it's the issue you've related in other threads, any trained professional should pick up on it without you describing it to them. However, it is useful to communicate how you *feel* about it. Our psychologist never took notes nor used a recorder and remembered minute details of our dynamic, even a year later. I'd kill for a memory as accurate as his is; a very effect therapy tool, to be able to fluidly flow from past to present during the therapeutic process. Hopefully your match goes well. Speak up if it doesn't feel like a good fit. Therapists are used to that. They'll reassess and re-match. Good luck Link to post Share on other sites
Author quietGuy13 Posted June 27, 2011 Author Share Posted June 27, 2011 What does it feel like, physically, when you can't speak, and when does this happen? WEll i mean i don't make sense and also my brain gets stuck in concentration mode. when i do stuff i don't like to talk. I don't see that as wrong, but apparently society does. And I also dn't like to be talking nonstop. I don't like it but also i can't. LIke all the people everywhere i go talk like this "fejkfejfkjkjkj fdjfkjdfkdjfkdjfkdjfkdjfkdjfkdjkfjdkfjdkfjdkfjdkf and then this and then that and then fhfhfhfhfhfhfhfhfhfhfhfhfhfejfeubueububeubeubeuebueubeubeubeubeubeub" My way of speaking would look like this: "fjkfejf..........................................................................oh i see..............................................................................................................." and then i always get teased "Why are you so quiet?" Link to post Share on other sites
betterdeal Posted June 27, 2011 Share Posted June 27, 2011 Being able to concentrate is not a bad thing. What do you do for a living / occupation? Don't make sense to whom, and are you sure it's teasing and not genuine enquiry? Link to post Share on other sites
cerridwen Posted June 28, 2011 Share Posted June 28, 2011 I'm glad you got the assessment done. One step closer. Have you prepared for your first session? It might help just to jot down on a piece of paper, the things troubling you. If you're not good at organizing your thoughts on the spot, writing it down ahead of time will help. Also, by bringing your list to the appointment, the therapist can understand what you hope to gain. For example: 1. You worry your mental processing is slow (?) 2. You wanted to discuss some family problems (?) 3. You feel depressed over losing your job and uncertainty about the future (?) 4. You feel self concious about the way you speak (?) ^These kind of things. Link to post Share on other sites
Author quietGuy13 Posted June 28, 2011 Author Share Posted June 28, 2011 I'm glad you got the assessment done. One step closer. Have you prepared for your first session? It might help just to jot down on a piece of paper, the things troubling you. If you're not good at organizing your thoughts on the spot, writing it down ahead of time will help. Also, by bringing your list to the appointment, the therapist can understand what you hope to gain. For example: 1. You worry your mental processing is slow (?) 2. You wanted to discuss some family problems (?) 3. You feel depressed over losing your job and uncertainty about the future (?) 4. You feel self concious about the way you speak (?) ^These kind of things. Yeah i will do that. Thank you for remind ding me about my problems Link to post Share on other sites
Author quietGuy13 Posted June 29, 2011 Author Share Posted June 29, 2011 I just signed up for a Speech Therapy appointment just now!!! yeahhh. I've never gone but i need to go. I'l just go once to see what she says. The DR, She sounded really understanding and nice. Link to post Share on other sites
cerridwen Posted June 29, 2011 Share Posted June 29, 2011 Yeah i will do that. Thank you for remind ding me about my problems You're welcome! I'm here to help. It's awesome how proactive you're being. Love that you signed up for Speech Therapy. I think you'll be very surprised how supportive they are. Link to post Share on other sites
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