moimeme Posted April 20, 2004 Share Posted April 20, 2004 I was recalling some conversations with some fellows that I've had and I found their answers to this very interesting (though I phrased it as 'what about yourself do you hope to be appreciated for ). My impression was that they based their value of themselves on certain things and that they particularly hoped others would value the same things about them. More often than not, it was their accomplishments they prided themselves on rather than their characters or other aspects of themselves. I haven't had the same conversations with women, but I'm not sure that there would be a similar outcome. So I was curious - what is it about you that you pride yourself on and what do you hope people value in you? Does it make you feel best when you are admired for your integrity, your dependability, your responsibility, your attention to detail? Is it you character, your looks, your accomplishments, or something else entirely? What sorts of things have you put effort into because you hoped to be appreciated for them? The other side of the coin is what do you admire in someone else? Is it a characteristic you have tried to develop in yourself or something you feel you lack? Link to post Share on other sites
Tony T Posted April 20, 2004 Share Posted April 20, 2004 I mostly like it when people love me for my millions of dollars, good looks, expensive car, huge house and the fact that I fart a lot at parties. Sorry, I have absolutely no clue as to how to answer. Frankly, except for the fact that people gravitate to me because I give a lot and ask little in return...which isn't really love at all....I've never given a lot of thought to this question. Link to post Share on other sites
HokeyReligions Posted April 20, 2004 Share Posted April 20, 2004 Originally posted by Tony I mostly like it when people love me for my millions of dollars, good looks, expensive car, huge house and the fact that I fart a lot at parties. I LOVE you Tony! I'll get a quick divorce and be right there! I can wear a clothes-line pin on my nose at parties! Interesting question Moimeme. I've always just wanted someone to love me, for me--but I never went on to quantify what 'me' consists of. I guess I want to be respected for my loyalty and honesty, and loved for the same reasons plus my sense of humor and my compassion for animals and loved in spite of my stubborness and temper! My husband fits the bill there. I think its my love for animals that I value most about myself. Link to post Share on other sites
wideawake Posted April 20, 2004 Share Posted April 20, 2004 good question. I 'think' for the most part that woman have fallen in love with me because I'm a very nurturing person (hey, their words...), they find me fairly intelligent, and I'm very open and honest with people I'm in a relationship with. What do I admire in someone else? Money. Ass load heaps of molla la la. Oh yeah, and a nice juicy ass. Ok seriously? I need to be with someone that I can trust, that I find funny and smart, and that has a moral code that closely matches my own. The juicy ass really doesn't hurt though... Link to post Share on other sites
Papillon Posted April 20, 2004 Share Posted April 20, 2004 Yes, interesting question, and a difficult one to answer if you consider yourself a non-self absorbed person. For me, I'd say for my devotion, loyalty and respect for others, as well as my quiet self-confidence, wisdom and intelligence. Link to post Share on other sites
tattoomytoe Posted April 20, 2004 Share Posted April 20, 2004 i am often perplexed by that question. i personally Hate myself....well not hate anymore i just dislike myself greatly....so i guess it is good that i do not dispise who and what i am anymore...i am still working on the love myself bit. Link to post Share on other sites
faux Posted April 20, 2004 Share Posted April 20, 2004 Originally posted by moimeme So I was curious - what is it about you that you pride yourself on and what do you hope people value in you? Does it make you feel best when you are admired for your integrity, your dependability, your responsibility, your attention to detail? Is it you character, your looks, your accomplishments, or something else entirely? I have been told character and looks, sense of humor, and intelligence. People have valued my honesty and wisdom, and have said that I am very caring and trustworthy. What sorts of things have you put effort into because you hoped to be appreciated for them? Since last year I have tried to improve upon myself. I have tried to get in very decent physical shape, become ambitious, and find confidence in myself to get further in life. One person in particular notices all of these things, and more. My efforts have not been misplaced, but I still have a long way to go before I reach all of my goals. The other side of the coin is what do you admire in someone else? Is it a characteristic you have tried to develop in yourself or something you feel you lack? I can't narrow it down to one characteristic. I'm very picky. Link to post Share on other sites
Arabess Posted April 20, 2004 Share Posted April 20, 2004 I happen to be very self serving. I'm not sure that falling in love with me is to anyone's best interest but my own. The only time I ever really fell in love....I happened to fall in love with someone who was just like me. It was a match made in heaven with it's roots founded in hell. No...it didn't work. I would be more prone to be in a 'Hillary-Bill' relationship where what we gain from each other IS the attraction and the main point. I happen to be a great loyal FRIEND.....but as a partner in life where the 'love' word is being thrown around....I'd be scared to fall in love with my own self. I could lie about it, but it happens to be the truth. Link to post Share on other sites
echocrush Posted April 20, 2004 Share Posted April 20, 2004 I am a very unique person, there is no one else out there like me... love me for my individuality. I am creative, intelligent, (tho airheaded) and compassionate. I will rarely tell one what they want to hear, but always tell one what they need to hear. I am honest, I won't say anything behind someones back that I wouldn't say to their face. Link to post Share on other sites
yes Posted April 20, 2004 Share Posted April 20, 2004 I'd want people to LIKE me for a combination of my character, looks, intelligence, etc. But I'd want someone to LOVE me for no reason at all. I stick to the idea that LOVE is always DESPITE things. LIKE is BECAUSE of things. That's why you need both LIKE and LOVE for a good LTR. my 2c, -yes Link to post Share on other sites
Thinkalot Posted April 21, 2004 Share Posted April 21, 2004 I believe the things I try to work on and try like about myself and project to others who love me:.... I am trustworthy, compassionate, loyal, caring, family oriented, considerate, have empathy, sensitive, fun to be with, energetic, sexual, attractive, intelligent, successful in life, well travelled.. (please note- I certainly don't always FEEL all these things...but I try to work on being and having these qualities) I think my partner doesnt care whether I am successful at work or well travelled or any of that stuff...he cares about the other stuff though...the inner qualities. I don't care about his material achievements....I care that he shares my values, is considerate, fair, loving, cares about family, active and so on. Link to post Share on other sites
UCFKevin Posted April 21, 2004 Share Posted April 21, 2004 I think the thing that really draws women in to me is my laid back, easy going attitude, but more than that would be this...I dunno. This ability I have to make them feel very comfortable and safe when they're with me. My sense of humor, too, although a lot of times it gets me into trouble, due to my sarcasm, I say something *I* think is funny when they do not. Oops! Anyway. I've heard from a few girls that I make them feel like a million bucks, so that's probably the best thing a guy could hear, really. And what makes me fall in love? Normalcy. It's very f*cking hard to find normal people nowadays. ALso honesty. Drive. Affection. Sexuality. Niceness. I love nice, sweet girls. A willingness to give back as much as I give. Someone I can be myself around. Someone who takes my compliments, likes chivalry. Someone who I would, without a second's thought, die for. Link to post Share on other sites
padparadscha Posted April 21, 2004 Share Posted April 21, 2004 Arabess says: I happen to be a great loyal FRIEND.....but as a partner in life where the 'love' word is being thrown around....I'd be scared to fall in love with my own self. Wow, I thought I was the only one like that. I truly am a terrific friend, but only to those I deem worthy of my friendship which are far and few. I want to be loved, but I also think, "I'd be scared to fall in love with my own self." If someone where to love me, I would want them to love me for my creativity, my unique approach to things, my love of nature. I look for qualities in men that I don't have such as: I like a skinny man (I am over weight) I like a man more intelligent than I am. Not on paper, but simply by things he knows that I do not or the way he approaches problems and solves them and I do not. I like a man who is very confident in himself (I am not) I like a man who is patient and understanding (I get easily frustrated) Link to post Share on other sites
Arabess Posted April 21, 2004 Share Posted April 21, 2004 HAHA Padparadscha....and I thought I was the only dysfuntional one of the bunch!!!! Welcome to Shacker World! (Hell, it took me 1/3 of a beer just to re-type your name..... ) Link to post Share on other sites
padparadscha Posted April 21, 2004 Share Posted April 21, 2004 Arabess, I love sapphires and padparadscha is such a beautiful sapphire (one in which I do not own). I always said if I ever get married I want my wedding ring to be designed by my husband to be. I don't want a diamond. I want padparadscha and any other gem he wishes to surround it. Now is that strange enough for you? Give me time and I will tell you about my ideal wedding and it might send everyone on the site into hysteria! They need not worry I've been single for years and think I have a few more to go We need a club! Seriously it is no fair that they have clubs for all kinds of people but not one club for "Those that think outside the box". Link to post Share on other sites
Bill Posted April 21, 2004 Share Posted April 21, 2004 My answer would be that no one should. My girlfriend thinks otherwise. Link to post Share on other sites
CurlyIam Posted April 21, 2004 Share Posted April 21, 2004 I don't feel like sharing why would anyone love me - a bit too much of soul searching there - nor can I think of anything I love in my bf and would like to get more - I'd needtoo much time only on deciding what to put first. But I do feel like sharing what I love about him. What I love about him and what I cannot get enough is his tenderness. He is just so gentle, asks no questions, supportive. Like a sea. I just feel love, no talking or explaining. Just touching it, just living it. It is so incredible and refreshing. Link to post Share on other sites
CaterpillarGirl Posted April 21, 2004 Share Posted April 21, 2004 I'm cute, smart, funny, confident, responsible, sweet as pie, and I love baseball/basketball/scifi/people-watching. Oh, yes..... And I have a damn sexy body! Link to post Share on other sites
UCFKevin Posted April 21, 2004 Share Posted April 21, 2004 I've been told my ass is exquisite. Link to post Share on other sites
Timbo Posted April 22, 2004 Share Posted April 22, 2004 Why should anyone love me? Hmm. Because I am the Alpha and Omega of amazing mind-blowing sex? Right. I want to be loved for my sense of humor, my undying loyalty, my intelligence, for the beautiful scenery that exists in my mind and in my heart. ...though being a sex object from time to time isn't all that bad... Tim Link to post Share on other sites
Aonz Posted April 26, 2004 Share Posted April 26, 2004 You always ask the hard questions Moimeme To be honest I don't know why anyone would love me. There are some good things about me (I think ) but nothing special, nothing that couldn't be found in another. Link to post Share on other sites
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