Shocking Pink Posted June 25, 2011 Share Posted June 25, 2011 Okay, so, he did it. After she graduated, he told her that he was going to move out and that he wanted a divorce. He is going to keep paying the mortgage there for another three months while she looks for a job and her own apartment, so they can sell the house. I guess she wasn't very happy, but she wasn't surprised either. He waited a couple of weeks just to transition, think about things. Tonight is our first date! Im' super excited and nervous. It feels like I have been waiting for this my whole life! We have a really long complicated history if anyone wants to look up my old threads for background. Link to post Share on other sites
Emme Posted June 25, 2011 Share Posted June 25, 2011 Congrats on your new relationship and enjoy your first date. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Shocking Pink Posted June 25, 2011 Author Share Posted June 25, 2011 Thank you! I tried on every dress in my closet twice! Link to post Share on other sites
Breezy Trousers Posted June 25, 2011 Share Posted June 25, 2011 I went back to one of your first posts, where you said you were involved with MM1 and MM2 five months ago. Which guy are you going on your date with? MM1 sounds like he has serious issues. Is it MM2? Link to post Share on other sites
Author Shocking Pink Posted June 25, 2011 Author Share Posted June 25, 2011 Yes, ex-MM1 was never leaving his W they have an arrangement, and I was not in love with him like I am/have ALWAYS been with "MM2". I broke it off with MM1 months ago and have only seen him a couple times thru work. Link to post Share on other sites
whichwayisup Posted June 26, 2011 Share Posted June 26, 2011 Atleast your MM has followed through on his word, and put a plan together, hasn't strung you along for months and months, possibly years. Unlike many other MM who just can't make up their minds, or they just truly want both, stay married and have an affair. My advice, take..things...slowly... Great idea on going on a date. Keep doing that and get to know him in a new and different light OUT of the affair dynamic. If you can, don't do sleepovers for a while. Build something new and honest, a foundation to really start things on the right foot. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Shocking Pink Posted June 26, 2011 Author Share Posted June 26, 2011 We know each other pretty well outside of any affair dynamic already, we were friends for almost half my life and he is the godfather of my child. That's what makes me so nervous, after all this buildup and tension, after everything we have meant to each other over the years, what if things don't work out? What if the sex is bad, or something? Dating will be great, but weird! He's going to be here soon! I went and spent a fortune on my hair and nails yesterday Link to post Share on other sites
whichwayisup Posted June 26, 2011 Share Posted June 26, 2011 That's what makes me so nervous, after all this buildup and tension, after everything we have meant to each other over the years, what if things don't work out? What if the sex is bad, or something? What if..What if..What if... No point in worrying about that stuff. He is divorcing his wife so he can be with you, right? Worry about that stuff when/if it actually happens. Just take it slow and also allow him time to adjust. Even though he intiated the D, he'll still need time to grieve the loss of his marriage and past life he once shared with his wife. Their friends, his inlaws, extended family.. It's not easy. Link to post Share on other sites
Lady vs Panda Posted June 26, 2011 Share Posted June 26, 2011 So, how was it? Link to post Share on other sites
fooled once Posted June 27, 2011 Share Posted June 27, 2011 So he is divorcing to be with you; and not because his marriage was unhappy/unfulfiling? Tread carefully. Do you think friends/family aren't going to figure out you two were having an affair? Does his wife know of his affair? If you just ended the affair with MM1 a few months ago, are you even really into this MM2? How could you be if you were with both of them? And just because he has moved out doesn't equal a divorce. GO SLOW and see if his actions match the words. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Shocking Pink Posted June 27, 2011 Author Share Posted June 27, 2011 So, how was it? It was really great! FANTASTIC! Thank you so much for just asking and not assuming or attacking. We talked a lot about how we got to this point, he finally told me how he has been feeling. We also talked about his plans for the future, and how it feels to be getting his freedom. There is some bittersweet emotion, of course that's natural. Anyway, we agreed that we are obviously not just friends anymore & wer'e both excited to finally really be more, but we're going to wait a couple months before we say anything to our other friends/my family, don't want to get my daughter too excited just yet! We just talked and talked and talked about so many things that have been unsaid, and every time we touched, it felt like electricity! Whichway and Fooled Once, I NEVER said he was divorcing because of me. Where did I say that? I was actually really clear in my other threads that his marriage has been unhappy and was a mistake from the beginning. I also told my whole history with him, so you would know how I feel about him and why and for how long. Okay if you don't want to read the background that's cool but then maybe you shouldn't put a bunch of words into my mouth. Anyway I have to get back to my responsibilities now. Maybe I'll try to come back and defend myself later. More background should help. Link to post Share on other sites
Silly_Girl Posted June 27, 2011 Share Posted June 27, 2011 It was really great! FANTASTIC! Thank you so much for just asking and not assuming or attacking. We talked a lot about how we got to this point, he finally told me how he has been feeling. We also talked about his plans for the future, and how it feels to be getting his freedom. There is some bittersweet emotion, of course that's natural. Anyway, we agreed that we are obviously not just friends anymore & wer'e both excited to finally really be more, but we're going to wait a couple months before we say anything to our other friends/my family, don't want to get my daughter too excited just yet! We just talked and talked and talked about so many things that have been unsaid, and every time we touched, it felt like electricity! Whichway and Fooled Once, I NEVER said he was divorcing because of me. Where did I say that? I was actually really clear in my other threads that his marriage has been unhappy and was a mistake from the beginning. I also told my whole history with him, so you would know how I feel about him and why and for how long. Okay if you don't want to read the background that's cool but then maybe you shouldn't put a bunch of words into my mouth. Anyway I have to get back to my responsibilities now. Maybe I'll try to come back and defend myself later. More background should help. Hey SP, you don't NEED to defend yourself. It's an OM/OW forum, share away. What really struck me from your post was how very emotional that must have been for you. I can't imagine having an experience like that with the man I love more than any before, and then pulling away to a degree. Of course, it's what happens, the backing off, what has to happen; but I wonder where your head's at. How do you feel? Link to post Share on other sites
Author Shocking Pink Posted June 28, 2011 Author Share Posted June 28, 2011 Hey SP, you don't NEED to defend yourself. It's an OM/OW forum, share away. What really struck me from your post was how very emotional that must have been for you. I can't imagine having an experience like that with the man I love more than any before, and then pulling away to a degree. Of course, it's what happens, the backing off, what has to happen; but I wonder where your head's at. How do you feel? THANK YOU Silly Girl. For background, as I have said before, I have known this man since I was only a kid! He was my big brother's best friend in high school and college and practically lived at our house on the weekends and then they were roommates. I had a crush on him but he didn't look at me that way of course when I was 11 . He didn't start to look at me like I was a woman until I was starting college myself, but then he never did anything out of respect for my family. Then when I was in college my brother died, and we both went into a bad place and got a little crazy. He ran away and got married, and I went and had my daughter. He came back like a year later wth her and he was my daughter's godfather. We became good friends then, before we were just friends because my brother was there but then we started getting closer. He would visit with me and my mom and daughter all the time and he was there for me when I was putting myself through school. He told me right from the start that getting married was a mistake. He tried to make it work, though, and they went to couples counseling and everything. I guess we started realizing we were meant to be more than just friends a year ago, maybe? And it kind of turned into an EA. At that time yes I WAS seeing someone else and he was obviously married and putting his wife through nursing school, so we tried to keep it under control and pulled back. I stopped seeing the other man & he said he was going to ask her for a divorce when she graduated, and he did. I'm not sorry that he did what was right for him, but it wasnt' just because of me. And then we finally had our first date after like 15 years! So heck yeah, it was super emotional! I feel like a kid again in so many ways. My skin feels hot just standing next to him! All this time and part of me has always wanted this I just thought it could never happen. And we are trying to take it kind of slow but at the same time this weekend was realy just magical! Link to post Share on other sites
Author Shocking Pink Posted June 28, 2011 Author Share Posted June 28, 2011 Oh also we are lying low for a ltitle while but that's bc we think our friends and family will actually be really excited for us and that is a lot of pressure! Especially my daughter who loves him, I dont' want to bring her into this until we have had more time together and everything is more sure, it's so so so new right now. A lot of people will be surprised but not really surprised, if you know what I mean. I know my mom will be a little unhappy that he was still married when we first had feelings for each other but she will think it was meant to be! I think she already suspects something is up she knows us both too well. Also we think it is more respectful to her (the wife) if we keep things quiet for a little while. Link to post Share on other sites
bentnotbroken Posted June 28, 2011 Share Posted June 28, 2011 Oh also we are lying low for a ltitle while but that's bc we think our friends and family will actually be really excited for us and that is a lot of pressure! Especially my daughter who loves him, I dont' want to bring her into this until we have had more time together and everything is more sure, it's so so so new right now. A lot of people will be surprised but not really surprised, if you know what I mean. I know my mom will be a little unhappy that he was still married when we first had feelings for each other but she will think it was meant to be! I think she already suspects something is up she knows us both too well. Also we think it is more respectful to her (the wife) if we keep things quiet for a little while. :eek: Really? Link to post Share on other sites
Recommended Posts