pregnant and alone.....

[Mimolicious]

Loni,

just FYI... I'm not a BS. I am a former OW. Entitled to my opinions, just like you are! :bunny:

 

 

Ain't that some shyte! I was SMH about that one... You know what they say about those who assume.

[Glinda]

Was that really necessary? Did it make you feel better? You sound like a classic member of the BBB (bitter bitch brigade)

I'm sorry, did you miss this part?

He works in my town, so he's here during the week, but goes home to another state on the weekends.

She will have to deliver on a weekday for him to be available for the birth.

 

Whilst I hope it made YOU feel better to call me a bitch, it ends in you looking very childish.

[2sure]

You are a single mother. Just like anyone who is not with the father or divorced. Its great that the two of you are in agreement that you are in love and that he is being supportive.

 

But you have to KNOW this, because you now have a huge responsibility to someone other than yourself, other than him: your child.

 

Your child , regardless of the last name is going to be yours ALONE unless you take care of this legally. He can buy all the diapers and pay all the bills he wants...but it doesnt change anything because for him:

 

This Baby is OPTIONAL. Now, its one thing to go with your heart regarding your relationship with him, one thing to accept that while he is married - you are an option to him.

 

Please dont accept the same terms for your child. It isnt realistic.

[Loni]

That's funny Loni cause I could have sworned you were the president. LMAO:lmao: Funny, cause there was only one banned member that used to use the term.

 

Anyway, OP congratulations on your baby. This is a very special time in a woman's life to enjoy, too bad that it is under these circumstances. You do sound very sweet and also very naive. I want to say your MM may not deliver on half the promises he;s made. I mean, there is nothing he can do about paternity (a little late for that) and paying CS if you file. The rest...

 

Oh boy! wait till his W finds out!!! Think about it as an outsider for a second. Honestly, this is borderline cruel what he is doing (and sorry, you are helping him too). Why are you allowing this???????? This MM is deceiving his W and kids that perhaps it's all good in the hood, while he has another chick pregnant and planning on bouncing to be with this second family. Would you like that done to you??? It's practically being done but you are fully aware of things though. At the end as you said "We are going to be a family", so you're in the strings of hopes. I know that there are people here that are going to tell you "SO what! Who gives a fack about his W, that's not your problem, blah, blah, blah...". Come on now! You're a human being and a woman too.

 

Life has a funny way of making us pay for our mistakes and the pain we cause those we "love". Let's hope you don't have a daughter and life gets even the day you see her hurt with matters of the heart.

 

I personally think that it is too late for the shenanigans. Everyone should start acting like adults and start saying the truth. At the end, this involves innocent children. You'll be surprised, because of the way that this is being handled, his other children may never meet their sibling.

You're not doing anyone a favor by helping this guy live a double life, on the contrary.

 

This is not fair to anyone...

 

All the smileys face emoticons in the world won't change the facts. This woman has a legal right to support. So does the W. Just depends on who files first.

[Loni]

And Mimo? sworned isn't actually a word.

[carrie999]

I think that suggestion is a bit outlandish Turbo....

 

I have no idea how old Miss D is or her financial situation, but IMO, unless she is homeless or really financially struggling and a teenager or some such, then as a grown woman with a career and especially family support there is NO need for her to give up her child!

 

Being a single parent is not the best or ideal thing, but it happens...and people get by.

 

I am a young woman who is nowhere near where I want to be financially and career wise and my decision for myself is to not start having kids until I am married to a man who has made that commitment to me and we can plan in the comfort of our personal and financial circumstances to have our kids...however, if for some reason I got pregnant now, I would not give my child up.

 

Miss D does not need to give her child up...and she is 7 months pregnant, it's much too late for her to randomly choose to give her child up to some random childless couple, that's a bit crazy! LOL. She has already accepted that the situation is less than stellar and while hoping for the best she is not delusional or completely blind to the chance that it may not work out and seems to have it together and has made plans for what to do if the worst case scenario comes.

 

There is no guarantee that the so-called stable family unit of strangers will be better...as I had married parents who raised me and there was still lots of dysfunction and my father was/is a cheater and also had outside kids. The child is going to still grow up wondering about his/her "real parents" and the story will unfold nevertheless so it may be no better than if Miss D is to love and raise her child herself in a loving single parent home. The child may end up with a loving stepfather who adopts him/her or *maybe* this married man will be there for them and *eventually* that family situation will work out. In any case...there are no guarantees and the situation no matter what is already not ideal but what's done is done, so the best of the situation has to be made...and that IMO does not mean giving her child away.

 

Much more articulately put, Miss Bee. OP, you'll be fine, with or without him!

[carrie999]

Best for the baby or what's best for you? Seriously. I think you want to keep your MM in your life and wreck his family. Do you think his other children are going to welcome you and your little one with open arms? If so, you are deluding yourself. Plus, he hasn't even TOLD HIS WIFE YET! Come on! Think about this. You are single and trying to hold onto a MM.

 

If you want whats best for the baby, why not give the baby up to a childless couple or a family who can provide for him/her and give him/her the stability of nurturing in a loving complete family unit?

 

We will see what happens, but I'll bet that you and your child will be spending all of your time alone, and boy that will be GREAT on holidays! Just sitting there in your apartment waiting for Mr. Wonderful to return to your town from his real family. Yep, sounds like a great plan.

 

Have you really considered what is best for your unborn child? I think not.

 

And this was what I meant by more articulate post (Miss Bee). My original response was to this message, and was something like: Ewwww!!! Troll alert!!! TG, who do you think you are, and how can you profess that this child does not belong with his/her mother? You're the type who I see handing out pamphlets at Times Square during rush hour to passersby who change their path to avoid you spouting your righteous indignation to anyone and everyone who might actually listen.

 

Get over yourself! And stop bullying pregnant women! Seriously...who the &*#& do you think you are to say these things? Gross.

[carrie999]

As for adoption, to all the people who are so against this (and NO, I am not saying you should give up your child), there are MANY MANY children out there who are adopted and they lead great productive lives. In many cases, the biological parents loved them ENOUGH to give them up. Giving up a child is not this easy thing people who find themselves pregnant do. And so what if a child is adopted? Is that an issue? I have family members who have adopted and those kids are loved and cherished. They are children who have lovely homes and great lives. SO WHAT if they are adopted. That is really a crass thing to think that giving up a child is such a bad thing for the child.

 

FO, I often agree with you when you're giving tough love, but this is unfounded. OP stated very clearly that not only couldn't she not have the baby, but that she wanted to keep her child and is very capable of providing support. She sounds extremely strong to me. She's not a kid, and not someone who NEEDS him there. She WANTS him there, but she is ready and willing to deal with having a child alone. And all this in her seventh month of pregnancy.

 

MM has not stepped up entirely, and she's recognized that and asked about THAT alone, not whether or not she should keep her child. She understands that while he's shown up and/or paid for doctor's appointments, it doesn't mean he's there, since he's...well, not.

 

She's having an extremely rough time, probably beating herself up in tougher moments, and exhibiting remarkable strength and resilience. Why shouldn't she raise this child? She's not a teenager, or an abused wife. She's someone who is involved in a difficult situation with a married man.

 

How is it better for this child to wonder about BOTH his/her parents than to be raised by a loving mother??? I don't get this argument that you and others have made, despite the fact that the OP is clearly ready, able, and happy to invite this new joy into her life???

 

Miss D, you will be a wonderful mother. In one way or another, all of this will be in the past. Focus on you and your baby, and ignore those who suggest you adoption when you are so clearly ready for parenthood. Huge (((((hugs))))) to you :-)

[Loni]

I personally know of a married couple who adopted a child. They jumped through all the hoops, rang all the bells and whistles and qualified to adopt. Nursery was beautiful. The kid was less than 3 years old when the wife decided she wanted a divorce to be with her affair partner.

 

The couple are still "together" because her affair partner lives abroad and was not willing to move away from his children. The husband refused to allow their adopted daughter to move (not sure out of love or out of spite). Yeppers, that is the kind of intact family environment I would feel cool about allowing my child to be raised in.

 

You never know what you are getting when you hand your child over to strangers. Half of them will divorce and a lot of men don't give a holy crap about their own kids when they divorce much less those they have adopted.

[MissBee]

I personally know of a married couple who adopted a child. They jumped through all the hoops, rang all the bells and whistles and qualified to adopt. Nursery was beautiful. The kid was less than 3 years old when the wife decided she wanted a divorce to be with her affair partner.

 

The couple are still "together" because her affair partner lives abroad and was not willing to move away from his children. The husband refused to allow their adopted daughter to move (not sure out of love or out of spite). Yeppers, that is the kind of intact family environment I would feel cool about allowing my child to be raised in.

 

You never know what you are getting when you hand your child over to strangers. Half of them will divorce and a lot of men don't give a holy crap about their own kids when they divorce much less those they have adopted.

 

Which was my point...

 

That unless it is something like you're a teenager, you're mentally unstable, you are in poverty, you are on drugs, you are homeless or something concrete like that, there is no need to give your child up simply because you've had a baby with a married man, if by all other accounts (which seems to be Miss D's case) you can care for and love your child. One CANNOT guarantee that somehow these other people will be more loving, won't be fraught with issues etc. although they are married and seem to have a nice life.

 

As we see here.....many men and women are married and have seemingly nice lives but are on the low on LS talking about how they are cheating on their husbands and wives or the disastrous d-day stories that ruin kids' worlds come to fore, or those of us who have lived through the drama of having a parent who was a cheater and how that has affected our own relationship outlook and behavior. Not to mention 2 parent, seemingly normal homes where a parent is molesting a child while the other parent turns a blind eye.

 

As my mom always says, "It's 6 of 1 and a half dozen of the other"

 

But yea...adoption should be based around concrete reasons as to why you cannot properly parent, if it were to be court ordered that women should give their babies up for adoption based on certain circumstances, I very much doubt a judge would rule that Miss D needs to give her child up just because it is fathered by a married man.

Edited June 28, 2011 by MissBee

[PinkInTheLimo]

He tells me that he's planning on leaving, but things have to be just so before he can. He doesn't want anyone to find out that he's having an affair, because that would make him "the bad guy." He says they don't sleep in the same room anymore, and haven't in a long time.

 

"things have to be just before I can leave". Translation: I will only leave the moment I can do it without any fuss, fights, crisis. Now he might very well believe this himself but let's be realistic: there will always be trouble when he wants to leave to this boils down to: he will never leave.

He does not want to tell people about the affair because from that moment on the fun will be over as one of the main reasons why he has the relationship is the thrill its secretive character gives him.

 

BTW, are you this colleague of mine? Because in my job we have a situation that is exactly like yours.(she must also be almost 7 months I think). And sorry to burst your bubble but I once met the guy with his wife and they were still walking hand in hand and acting very lovey-dovey. So I would not be sure that he is no longer sleeping with her!!!

 

I don't doubt that this guy loves you and is involved in the pregnancy and everything. But don't expect him to divorce and live with you any time soon. This guy is attached to you and therefore he is happy with the baby. But he won't divorce! He will try to keep things as they are as long as possible. Because being loved by 2 women is better than be loved by 1 or none at all...

 

I think you should break up with him, make a settlement about child care and custody and tell his wife and other kids. This way everyone will know the parameters of the situation they are in and be able to make their own choices.

 

You also have to know that the moment you would become a danger to his family life, there is a good chance he will totally dump you. It is also possible that his wife knows that he has affairs but knows that he won't have the balls to leave her.

[miss d]

I appreciate everyone's support here. It isn't the best situation, but I'm making the best of it. I'll check back in later on to update everyone on how things are going.

 

Just a side bar, I am supportive of adoption, if the parent(s) are unable to raise a child. That is just not something I feel that I need to do. So, I'm not saying adoption is bad, just not the right decision for me.

[Ellin]

My point was FOR THE BABY. I have 2 friends who are single moms, 2 different scenarios. It is very difficult for both! The one child is now 18 and the father's other children want nothing to do with her - she graduated from the same high school in the same class as the father's daughter with his wife. This guy is still married to the BS and the BS knew about the pregnancy, etc., etc. That MM left my friend high & dry after the baby came... sure paid lip service and sent child support, but that was it. The other friend has a little girl who is now 4 years old with learning disabilities and my friend struggles to make ends meet and get the care her child needs. Her ex-MM moved to the other coast and she has not had the money to hire an investigator to find him so she can get the child support she needs to care for her daughter. Very difficult lives for the ladies and for the children.

 

Hence, my realistic post which was meant to shed light on what can happen. There are so many childless couples who would love to give a baby a stable loving home.

 

If you're so concerned about the baby's happiness, read up on adoptee trauma before you write a comment like this next time.

[whichwayisup]

I appreciate everyone's support here. It isn't the best situation, but I'm making the best of it. I'll check back in later on to update everyone on how things are going.

 

Just a side bar, I am supportive of adoption, if the parent(s) are unable to raise a child. That is just not something I feel that I need to do. So, I'm not saying adoption is bad, just not the right decision for me.

 

Please just focus on your health and enjoy your pregnancy. Don't get caught up in the drama around you and deal with all that stuff after a few or even longer, after your baby is born. Less stress the better off you will be.

[fooled once]

FO, I often agree with you when you're giving tough love, but this is unfounded. OP stated very clearly that not only couldn't she not have the baby, but that she wanted to keep her child and is very capable of providing support. She sounds extremely strong to me. She's not a kid, and not someone who NEEDS him there. She WANTS him there, but she is ready and willing to deal with having a child alone. And all this in her seventh month of pregnancy.

 

MM has not stepped up entirely, and she's recognized that and asked about THAT alone, not whether or not she should keep her child. She understands that while he's shown up and/or paid for doctor's appointments, it doesn't mean he's there, since he's...well, not.

 

She's having an extremely rough time, probably beating herself up in tougher moments, and exhibiting remarkable strength and resilience. Why shouldn't she raise this child? She's not a teenager, or an abused wife. She's someone who is involved in a difficult situation with a married man.

 

How is it better for this child to wonder about BOTH his/her parents than to be raised by a loving mother??? I don't get this argument that you and others have made, despite the fact that the OP is clearly ready, able, and happy to invite this new joy into her life???

 

Miss D, you will be a wonderful mother. In one way or another, all of this will be in the past. Focus on you and your baby, and ignore those who suggest you adoption when you are so clearly ready for parenthood. Huge (((((hugs))))) to you :-)

 

Carrie, I never said the OP should give the child up for adoption; I was saying there is nothing wrong with putting a child up for adoption and there are MILLIONS of couples that would love to adopt a child since they cannot have one biologically. My boss for example adopted his child at birth. He told me the biological mother just didn't want a baby - not due to drugs, alcohol or a teen pregnancy. She just didn't want the child and didn't abort because that is against her beliefs.

 

I just keep seeing here how adoption is only for teen mothers, drug heads, etc...its NOT. There are many "normal" women who get pregnant and for whatever reason choose to put their child up for adoption. They do so for many reasons and I think its GREAT that they know they couldn't provide the child with what it needed and felt it was best to give that child to someone else to raise.

 

I never said she couldn't/shouldn't have the child and keep it. I was stating adoption is not the horror that so many make it out to be. One of the moving loving gestures a biological mother can do is put her child up for adoption if she firmly believes she cannot raise it.

 

I personally know of a married couple who adopted a child. They jumped through all the hoops, rang all the bells and whistles and qualified to adopt. Nursery was beautiful. The kid was less than 3 years old when the wife decided she wanted a divorce to be with her affair partner.

 

The couple are still "together" because her affair partner lives abroad and was not willing to move away from his children. The husband refused to allow their adopted daughter to move (not sure out of love or out of spite). Yeppers, that is the kind of intact family environment I would feel cool about allowing my child to be raised in.

 

You never know what you are getting when you hand your child over to strangers. Half of them will divorce and a lot of men don't give a holy crap about their own kids when they divorce much less those they have adopted.

 

So what if a couple who adopted divorced? Are you implying it is so wrong for a couple to adopt to divorce, but it is just fine if biological parents divorce? Why shouldn't the dad want to keep the child HERE in the states? Why should his child be taken abroad to be raised? Why didn't the mother give him primary custody so she could go be with her lover? Where are you statistics on men and adopted children? Many men believe in their hearts that the child they adopt are THEIRs and not an "adopted child"!

 

So instead of giving a child to strangers to raise, cause oh the horror of any person who adopts, the biological mother should raise the kid even though she never wanted kids, she can't support the kid and she can't love the kid? Do you know the harm that is done to a kid that is forced to live in a home without love, caring, kindness, etc? It is better to subject a kid to that instead of a home where they are loved and wanted? Are only biological parents able to love and provide for a kid? Someone better tell Angelina Jolie, Meg Ryan, etc that they aren't really able to love those kids because they didn't push them out of their vagina I read the news about the abuse children suffer at the hands of their biological parent, and those are the ones that aren't killed.

 

Sorry, this is a very touchy subject to me based on having adopted kids in my family and friends who have adopted. They love their children just as much as I love my biological child.

 

Which was my point...

 

That unless it is something like you're a teenager, you're mentally unstable, you are in poverty, you are on drugs, you are homeless or something concrete like that, there is no need to give your child up simply because you've had a baby with a married man, if by all other accounts (which seems to be Miss D's case) you can care for and love your child. One CANNOT guarantee that somehow these other people will be more loving, won't be fraught with issues etc. although they are married and seem to have a nice life.

 

**And no one can guarantee that a woman who has a child will be loving, have no issues, divorce, beat or kill their kids. Thinks Susan Smith, Andrea Yates and many many others.

 

As we see here.....many men and women are married and have seemingly nice lives but are on the low on LS talking about how they are cheating on their husbands and wives or the disastrous d-day stories that ruin kids' worlds come to fore, or those of us who have lived through the drama of having a parent who was a cheater and how that has affected our own relationship outlook and behavior. Not to mention 2 parent, seemingly normal homes where a parent is molesting a child while the other parent turns a blind eye.

 

As my mom always says, "It's 6 of 1 and a half dozen of the other"

 

But yea...adoption should be based around concrete reasons as to why you cannot properly parent, if it were to be court ordered that women should give their babies up for adoption based on certain circumstances, I very much doubt a judge would rule that Miss D needs to give her child up just because it is fathered by a married man.

 

And no one said she must give her child up for adoption. It is an option for her. She shouldn't be made to think it isn't an option nor if she had come here regarding putting her child up for adoption should she feel as if she was judged for doing so. I think of all the women who cannot CANNOT biologically have a child and how they are somehow thought of as less of a parent just because she didn't have it grow in her Heck, I even checked into adoption at one point, and it wasn't because I couldn't have a child!

 

I appreciate everyone's support here. It isn't the best situation, but I'm making the best of it. I'll check back in later on to update everyone on how things are going.

 

Just a side bar, I am supportive of adoption, if the parent(s) are unable to raise a child. That is just not something I feel that I need to do. So, I'm not saying adoption is bad, just not the right decision for me.

 

Exactly! Adoption isn't for everyone and you know your heart and even though it will be tough being a single mom, you know this is the right choice for you. GOOD. And there is absolutely nothing wrong with a woman who knows that she is NOT cut out to be a mom and places her child up for adoption.

 

Good luck miss d and I wish you well with the rest of your pregnancy. The most important factor here is having a healthy baby. The rest is cake because underneath it all, you LOVE the baby you are caring and looking forward to raising this child. Best wishes.

[Loni]

So instead of giving a child to strangers to raise, cause oh the horror of any person who adopts, the biological mother should raise the kid even though she never wanted kids,

 

WTF are you talking about? The original poster said nothing about not wanting kids. It was suggested to her that because her baby was affair based she should give it up. I thought it ridiculous that a woman who wants her baby should give it up for adoption simply because of the origin of its arrival.

[Goldenspoon]

I am new to this forum, and would appreciate any support ya'll can give. I have been seeing my MM for almost a year and a half now. He works in my town, so he's here during the week, but goes home to another state on the weekends. He was honest with me from the start, that he was married, and I was stupid enough to get involved. He and I get along so well, and have a connection that I haven't experienced with anyone else. At first, I enjoyed the freedom of this relationship. I was free to do whatever I wanted on the weekends. Now I just miss him.

 

You got lied to and PLAYED!

 

If you want the truth, contact his wife and find out the truth yourself and while you're at it, tell her the truth from your side as well.

[Goldenspoon]

I am new to this forum, and would appreciate any support ya'll can give. I have been seeing my MM for almost a year and a half now. He works in my town, so he's here during the week, but goes home to another state on the weekends. He was honest with me from the start, that he was married, and I was stupid enough to get involved. He and I get along so well, and have a connection that I haven't experienced with anyone else. At first, I enjoyed the freedom of this relationship. I was free to do whatever I wanted on the weekends. Now I just miss him.

 

You got lied to and PLAYED!

 

If you want the truth, contact his wife and find out the truth yourself and while you're at it, tell her the truth from your side as well.

[MissBee]

 

And no one said she must give her child up for adoption. It is an option for her. She shouldn't be made to think it isn't an option nor if she had come here regarding putting her child up for adoption should she feel as if she was judged for doing so. I think of all the women who cannot CANNOT biologically have a child and how they are somehow thought of as less of a parent just because she didn't have it grow in her Heck, I even checked into adoption at one point, and it wasn't because I couldn't have a child!

 

But that's the point FO....she didn't come here distraught about the pregnancy and wanting to know what her options were in regards to that, as Carrie said.

 

No one at all has said adoption is some horrible thing, the only thing being said is that the continued advice on adoption was not necessary as the OP already stated she didn't want that and just wanted to know about her MM scenario.

 

I would feel out of place and rude to offer advice IRL to a friend about adoption as an option, if all she was asking was whether or not I think her bf would be around....I think a lot of people would take offense and think I was casting aspersions in an underhanded way.

 

If she had come here and made a thread like this one user who was 20 and in school and got pregnant for a MM and then downed alcohol because she was freaking out and wasn't ready for a baby....then I would have given her the adoption advice myself and cosigned a thousand times on yours. But it is a different circumstance and you've been defending the cause of adoption (which I cosign on as a separate cause that is irrelevant to this thread), versus specifically seeing that the OP wants her child, can take care of her child and so that specific advice isn't for her situation. I can see that the cause for adoption is one dear to you and personal and I think that may be affecting your posts versus the actual reality of this particular circumstance...it happens, sometimes I too get caught up and realize that I am pushing my own personal thing and not even listening to what is in fact being asked of me.

 

Yes anyone can give their child up for adoption should they choose, the circumstances brought up were as an example that giving a baby up is a HARD thing, even when you can't take care of it, so most women don't do so unless it is a necessity (like some of those scenarios), and for the OP it's not, and she said so, so who are we to carry on about adoption?

 

If she had come here wanting to give her baby up for adoption, most people would have supported her I think....but she didn't come here for that reason so it is out of place to push that decision upon her, it just comes off like a backhanded way of saying "Hmmm...you're such a mess..I think you SHOULD give your child up before you ruin it's life".

 

Please say you see what I'm saying?

Edited July 3, 2011 by MissBee

[Snuggle Tiger]

MM was looking for a nice, soft vagina in which to pump full of seed from his throbbing manhood and he found it in you. I'm sure it was fun soaking up the pulsating love from his loins and then sending him back to his family, you don't know them so it was pretty easy. He gives you his orgasm and goes home to his wife.

 

But it's amazing how such an exquisite moment of moaning, back-clawing carnal pleasure can start a new life...and change the lives of so many other people in the process.

 

Was it good? Did he love you like a man that does without sex until you satisfy his animal desires? And do you ever find yourself thinking "if I had given one more blowjob this would not be happening!"

 

Based on the age of his kids and the fact he has three of them, I would say he and his wife are probably in their mid to late 40's. And guess what? He is stringing you alone! There will never, ever be a good time for him to tell his wife. Odds are he is still having sex with her, although he might be thinking of you while they do it.

 

I do feel sorry for his wife. With two children out of the house and one in high school, she is probably looking forward to spending time alone with him. Maybe travel, looking forward to grandchildren and retirement. SURPRISE!!! HE IS GOING TO BE A BABY DADDY!

[alexandria35]

OP you say that your MM wants to leave but he doesn't want anyone to find out about the affair. Well what the heck does that mean? There is no way he can leave to be with you, claim your child as his own, an not have people know he has been having an affair. I mean if he leaves his wife and then suddenly he has a newborn baby people are going to put 2 and 2 together.

 

And what about your friends and family? How long are you going to keep lying to them? You say they all know your MM and like him but nobody knows he's married with the exception of one friend. How long do you plan to keep up this deceit? Have you thought this through? Lets say he does (doubtful) leave his wife and comes to you. What about his other kids? Are they never going to be allowed to visit their father, meet you or their baby sibling, lest they let the cat out of the bag that their father was still married when he had a baby with you? Actually since your MM doesn't want his kids to know about the affair, I guess they will never be able to visit him once he leaves to be with you. I guess he will just have to cut ties with them altogether and completely walk away from his relationship with them. Oh well, thats okay. He'll have a new baby with you, so why worry about the kids he already has.

 

Have you thought about these things. Since you are having a baby there is simply no way he can leave and not have the affair come to light. Im sure he's thought about this and if he's saying he doesn't want anyone to know about the affair then he isn't planning on being with you. Simple as that. He can't have it both ways. You are having a baby. It's time to stop with the games and the lies and tell the truth, at least to your family! Your baby shouldn't have to be raised shrouded in lies and secrecy. Tell people the truth so you don't have to spend a lifetime covering your lies and get child support.