When was I ever wrong?

[Mnesic]

Me and my girlfriend had broken up a week ago, prior to the breakup I had growing suspicion of her and another guy that was said to be only a "friend". I had let her go with him bathing suit shopping because he was the only ride she had at the time, and after wards he took her out to eat at a restaurant. Normally when she would go out with her friends, they would go as a group and he would be a driver, so it was the first time that I agreed on letting her go alone with a guy. We had broken up because I was unable to trust her. I just found out that those two are now really close after we broke up and they are dating / flirting a lot. I'm really devastated and I don't know what to do.

 

I've been with her for about 1 year and 8 months on and off, we were never separated for more than 1 month. I've been in this scenario before and it ended up me breaking up with her over growing suspicion and trust issues, and it would always turn out to be true, this is the 4th time that it has been true and predicted by me. I convinced myself I had paranoid personality disorder because I kept jumping to conclusions, assuming, and saying things that I had no evidence on other than my gut feeling. When I had told her I didn't like her seeing that guy she told me she can never imagine herself with him, he was is unappealing, unattractive, she even told him that I said that and he laughed it off.

 

Now that she and this guy are sending messages like, "Babe you make me happy <3", it kills me to see that I don't know what to do. I called her once but she had me on blacklist and it went straight to voice mail. So I texted her twice and sent her a very long e-mail. I still love and care for her very much I just don't know what to do anymore. I've been breaking down more than ever and antidepressants don't do ****. No wonder she hasn't spoken to me in 3 days, shes busy with another guy, all I'm wondering is if I was cheated on and I didn't know about it.

 

What do you guys think I should do?

Edited June 26, 2011 by Mnesic

[voels]

Was in almost similar situation. What shall you do? I don't know. It has been more than 8 months since the last I saw her, and it's still very painful.