Need some advice

[Josh]

Ok, I was having problems with my girfriend/exgirlfriend and had no idea why until now. We met last year when she was 16 and I was 18. Fell in love, things were great, you get the idea. We live about 30 minutes apart so we didn't see each other everyday though. Sometimes we'd go over a week without talking because I was going to school and working a full time job, and she had school, sports and a part time job also, but when we got together it was great. But the last few months there have been problems. There really isn't a relationship anymore from her point of view, as she is busy with other things. I tried and tried to keep things the way they were before and it didn't seem to help.

 

Well, It's starting to sink in. She is going through that phase I think that happens when you graduate high school. She spends weekends going to the over/under dance clubs, she has started smoking---I think you get the idea.

 

I don't have time to see her often just like before, and I was starting to get pissed at her so I started dating other girls. However, I still like her a lot and she says she still likes me. Now, I'm not going to wait around for her just to see when she has time to do things, I'm too busy for that and I want to go out with other people, but I still care for her.

 

Is this a stage she is going through in her life, because she turned 18 now and is exploring her "freedom"? and if it is, how do I react to it or treat her so we can still remain friends, because right now when we do talk I get frustrated and usually say something to make things worse.

[Tony T]

This girl has a lot of growing, learning, experiencing and maturing to do...and so do you. She is still very very young and will go through many phases and changes over the next ten years.

 

Some people go through less dramatic growth stages than others but generally everyone does a great deal of exploring before age 25 or 30. It really depends on the person.

 

You are wasting your time speculating on when this chick will be ready to settle in to a committed relationship. Just let her be free, enjoy her company when you can, see other people, etc. When you meet someone you truly care about who shows the same kind of dedication in return, then go for it.

 

This girl has a whole lot of growing up to do and she will surely break your heart if you let her. At 18, she doesn't nearly know what's going on yet.