Wantin' more Posted April 20, 2004 Share Posted April 20, 2004 Hi to all. Let me began by saying this is a really long story and I'm going to try to keep it short and coherent. So, here goes. I met this guy almost 3 yrs ago and I absolutely hated him. But, after sometime, we found out that we were attracted to each other. So we tried to get together, but issues prevented it from happening (mostly my issues). But we still talk. Enters my problem. I want sooo much more than he is giving. And he seems to give, but on his time and I'm just not that patient. I'm going to be relocating to another state in about 6wks, if this is going to be a LDR, I'd like a good start, not one from over the miles. Here lately, he has been going all out of his way to prove to me that he is truly my friend. And that is fine, if that's all he wants to be. But he tells me we are friends and then flirts heavily. Whenever we see each other which isn't that often (because of him) he always makes up an excuse to touch me (even if it's just my hand). He gives freely and we make each other laugh- alot. I am soooo in love with him, but I don't know why really? I mean we I examine the situation, he treats me the same as everybody else in his life. But, then there are things he does differently, like tolerate my sever fickleness. Although, I'm rarely fickle with him, but when I am--man am I.He promptly returns calls and e-mails. A week ago he help me set up IM so that we could communicate better. But, then he backed up on his "advances" ...again!! UGGGGGGGGGH. I am so damn confused, why can't he just say what he means and mean what he says. I asked for "no contact" to help me get perspective. He completely ignored me. So, when I asked the second time, again he ignored me and the third time, he was very upset--but, he still ignored the request. When I tried to explain why I needed "no contact", he accused me of using him for my own selfishness. But, he's guilty of that a time or two himself. I just don't get this. Am I really important to him? Or does he need to be the one to ask for no contact for it to happen? HELP!!! My head is spinning. Link to post Share on other sites
moimeme Posted April 21, 2004 Share Posted April 21, 2004 The best way to find out what somebody thinks is to ask him. You can, if you wish, do it in a roundabout way. Instead of 'do you want to become a couple', you could try something like 'do you think we'd be a good pair?' which makes it hypothetical and easy to backpedal out of Link to post Share on other sites
LizzyB Posted April 21, 2004 Share Posted April 21, 2004 Why don't you try asking him simple questions that aren't to direct but would get you answers. It sounds like it is hard for you to directly ask him what is going on? Before me and my BF were together, we were friends. It all started with questions such as, Have you ever thought of me in a certain way or I would ask him, Have you ever wanted something more, even if only for the moment, or was there a moment when you really really wanted me? Do you ever think of acting on it? We were really good friends though so I don't know if it would be as easy for you to ask him such things. But we ended up getting a lot of answers through small talks about such things and still being friends for quite a while after. If you guys ever talk about things like that maybe it would be easy and if not, asking a question like that may be hard. Just a suggestion to getting the answers you want. It may not work with your situation but since you do not have much time, what do you have to lose. You sound like you communicate a lot. Being to direct may put him on the spot but he should have no reason to get upset over simple questions. Link to post Share on other sites
wantin' more Posted April 23, 2004 Share Posted April 23, 2004 Thank you ladies for your helpful advice. My "friend" and I spent a little time together yesterday... and he about ripped my clothes off. But, I refused to let it go to far until we get the emotions worked out so that we can live with them comfortably. Link to post Share on other sites
aebabigurl40 Posted April 23, 2004 Share Posted April 23, 2004 dude, a long distance relationship isnt gunna work..im sorry! only about 5% ever work! im in the same situation as you are..except we never hated each other, and he only lives 5 miles away..so i kno how ya feel...sorry ur moving tho..that realllllyy sux Link to post Share on other sites
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