Which do you think she actually wants?

[cerable]

I have a problem with LDR and i want to ask for advice from you guys.

I'm a guy 21 year old and my girlfriend is one year older than me. We are both from the same city in Indonesia. I've been in a relationship with her since high school (5 year old of relationship now). I decided to continue my study for doctoral degree in China which takes 5.5 years for undergraduate. I'm on my 9th semester now. I am planning to continue on my study for post graduate which need 3.5 years.

I come back to Indonesia twice a year for 1-2 months during every holiday. Last semester I talked to her about us marrying after i finish my undergraduate. which is about 1 year from now. She was so happy she even told her friends about it. But last month suddenly she want a broke up, her reason was she don't feel like she loves me anymore. I was like ok, and we broke up. I took it easy because it happens every late semester. We broke up and we made up again every semester when i go back to Indonesia to meet her on vacation. So it's not a big deal to me. Actually for me, it's more like she says she needs some time to think.

 

But then a problem arises as she adds a hard-to-solve reason for a break up. She says she don't want to marry me and have to move to china to accompany me on my study there (I can't continue on my study in Indonesia cos they are, sorry, actually racist. So it's actually almost impossible for a chinese decendant like me to get accepted when i got no connection whatsoever). I asked if she wants to marry later after i finish the postgraduate instead, she said she don't want to wait anymore. Then i offer another solution, i'm not continuing my study and work as a general diagnostic doctor instead. Her answer for this one is the general doctor can't become rich. Then I offer another solution, this degree just as a degree and i continue my parents work instead (I can say my parent is above average, and i was given a branch with my name that i can work on). I don't really know what she answer to this one as she just gave another reason. She said that she feel she's more dominating (or intimidating) in our relationship. She said she never listen to my advice and always did the opposite(which is true), and i never get mad. I said to her, "Why would i get mad, you were just asking for opinion, and if you do otherwise it's your choice." Then she replied, "I don't care, i want a break up." And so we ended up breaking up again.

 

This time, I am not sure how to solve the problem. All the solutions that i can think of is rejected. So on this holiday, i approach her on another method ignoring the current problem and we made up yet again. But this problem may arises again sometime, and next semester i won't have holiday to be there to made up again. And if we broke up for too long, the "i have no feeling for you anymore may really come true."

 

Do you guys have any advice on another solution? What do you think she actually wants? Do you think she wants me to work for my parents instead, but she just don't want to be blamed for me stopping my study? I don't care to drop my study for her, for me she's more important(i can just continue on my parents work anyway). I know she wants to marry me(and i'm not being too optimistic) but there is this problem that needs solving "Time". The doctoral degree really take too much time. I wish i can fast forward this but i can't. . The end goal is for us to marry and live happily. But break up is not happy for me and it's the easy way out that i don't like. If only i can find a solution that can satisfy her.

 

I'm sorry for my bad english as it's not my first language.