musemaj11 Posted June 29, 2011 Share Posted June 29, 2011 So what if you really do want to sleep with a guy but you can't say it directly? There's a guy at work I'd love to sleep with, but I'm trying not to make that obvious (almost avoiding him type of thing, because the humiliation would be too much to bear) I'm trying to see if he finds me attractive before attempting anything like that! Apparently, my male friend told me he does and that he's given me a few of the "looks" but I haven't noticed myself and I'm not glambling on that. So you're all saying you like it if a girl approaches you, yet what happens if you don't actually find her attractive! Err, dont dip your vagina in the company's ink? Link to post Share on other sites
Author confusedgirl85 Posted June 30, 2011 Author Share Posted June 30, 2011 Yeah I guess "chase" isnt the right word, and Im not refering to sleep with the guy, but just letting him know that you like him. In my case I think i've given the guy a thousand hints and im just not sure if he gets them or not. I think they are pretty obvious but as some of you have said that men dont get those type of hints and that they prefer to be told directly. Being direct to a guy for me is letting him know ok I like you... now the ball is on your ground, what are you going to do about it? Will yo do anything about it? Will you ignore it or what??? Link to post Share on other sites
musemaj11 Posted June 30, 2011 Share Posted June 30, 2011 Yeah I guess "chase" isnt the right word, and Im not refering to sleep with the guy, but just letting him know that you like him. In my case I think i've given the guy a thousand hints and im just not sure if he gets them or not. I think they are pretty obvious but as some of you have said that men dont get those type of hints and that they prefer to be told directly. Being direct to a guy for me is letting him know ok I like you... now the ball is on your ground, what are you going to do about it? Will yo do anything about it? Will you ignore it or what??? What kind of hint? Batting your eyelashes or dropping your handkerchief? Link to post Share on other sites
OpenBook Posted June 30, 2011 Share Posted June 30, 2011 I was never interested in any woman that chased me. IMHO, that meant she was not that high in the food chain. The thing I enjoy the most is the initial courting done with subtle hints. That is much more romantic than a woman that simply tells a guy she wants to sleep with him. When I encounter that I assume she has said the same thing to countless other men. There is nothing special about that. Furthermore, it is also a sign of desperation and clingy type behavior. I stay away from women like that. Bingo! This has been my consistent experience with men throughout my lifetime. It has been a source of frustration for me, as it implies that I can't be the one to do the picking, I have to sit back and let the guy pick me. I still hate that. But I have begrudgingly accepted that this is the way men think and behave. They are the hunters. I am the hounded. Link to post Share on other sites
AutumnB Posted July 4, 2011 Share Posted July 4, 2011 Initiating is not the same as chasing. Men dont need to be courted. Either a man likes you or he doesnt. I'm not certain I understand this exactly as meant. If I like a man, I'll go out with him. If I don't, then I won't. No amount of courting will change that. So, in your opinion, what is the purpose of courting? And just so you know, I'm not beinh sarcastic, I really just want to understand. Maybe my issue is that I just don't get the rules of engagement. Link to post Share on other sites
musemaj11 Posted July 4, 2011 Share Posted July 4, 2011 I'm not certain I understand this exactly as meant. If I like a man, I'll go out with him. If I don't, then I won't. No amount of courting will change that. So, in your opinion, what is the purpose of courting? And just so you know, I'm not beinh sarcastic, I really just want to understand. Maybe my issue is that I just don't get the rules of engagement. Meaning that women (many not all) can grow to like a guy slowly even if they felt nothing in the beginning while this rarely happens with men. If a man doesn't have the slightest attraction from the beginning, chances are its not gonna grow no matter how persistent the woman is because a man judges by what he sees while a woman judges by what she feels. So if a woman is interested in a man, be direct and tell him right away instead of wasting ur time pursuing him. Link to post Share on other sites
AutumnB Posted July 5, 2011 Share Posted July 5, 2011 Ah, I see and would tend to agree with you on that point then. Good to know. Link to post Share on other sites
ChessPieceFace Posted July 5, 2011 Share Posted July 5, 2011 A girl who is interested in you, begins "the chase" or when she is just a bit more direct into letting you know that she's interested, or you prefer to be the one who starts everything? As a shy guy, I've rarely initiated anything romantic (and incidentally was shot down every time I tried.) I am usually very happy when a girl shows me she is interested. I think it would be as simple as asking the guy out on what could be considered a date. How you want to actually phrase it / frame it is up to you. After that initial thing -- even though I am shy, it is still a turn-off for me when a girl is "too" into me. Makes me lose interest really fast. So I think it's fine to initiate things, and to keep them going to some limited extent, but if you act at all obsessive or needy then it's going to be a turn-off to anyone. Link to post Share on other sites
Recommended Posts