Women looking pretty vs. Men making the first move

[TheLawmaker]

Men who are classically handsome don't have to commit. They can just have lots of sex.

 

What about this do women not understand?

 

The men who are more likely to commit are also the more average to ugly guys. Which women don't want, and who women reject. And these men grow old, and bitter, and the men who the women accept cheat on them...

 

And then, suddenly, it's ALL MEN'S fault! All men are pigs! Of course it couldn't possibly be that they rejected the more marriage oriented men...of course not! It couldn't possibly be that they accepted the players as marriage oriented men...of course not!

 

[musemaj11]

Men who are classically handsome don't have to commit. They can just have lots of sex.

 

What about this do women not understand?

 

The men who are more likely to commit are also the more average to ugly guys. Which women don't want, and who women reject. And these men grow old, and bitter, and the men who the women accept cheat on them...

 

And then, suddenly, it's ALL MEN'S fault! All men are pigs! Of course it couldn't possibly be that they rejected the more marriage oriented men...of course not! It couldn't possibly be that they accepted the players as marriage oriented men...of course not!

 

And you on the other hand want ugly women? :rolleyes:

 

Its okay to be whining. But at least be fair.

[TheLawmaker]

And you on the other hand want ugly women? :rolleyes:

 

No.

 

But obviously attractive women, even the beautiful ones on the inside, want someone who is a pathetic piece of S$*$)$.

[musemaj11]

No.

 

But obviously attractive women, even the beautiful ones on the inside, want someone who is a pathetic piece of S$*$)$.

So why are whining about women not wanting ugly men if you dont want ugly women either?

[oaks]

Is it better to get rejected or have to deal with creepy people you aren't interested in?

 

That's a good way of looking at it but I think that this, together with the original question, is essentially unanswerable. The things are so different that they are hard to compare, and the approach for individuals can be very different. For example, some people deal with rejection so badly that they are scared of even asking, whereas some people just deal with it.

[TheLawmaker]

So why are whining about women not wanting ugly men if you dont want ugly women either?

 

Is your argument that all attractive women are narcissistic and players?

 

If so, then I see where you're going with that.

[musemaj11]

Is your argument that all attractive women are narcissistic and players?

 

If so, then I see where you're going with that.

What the hell is your problem dude?

 

Women want attractive partners, JUST LIKE YOU TOO!

[Ruby Slippers]

Is your argument that all attractive women are narcissistic and players?

 

If so, then I see where you're going with that.

I have some very physically attractive friends, and they do tend to jump from man to man quickly and easily. They chase the hot player types who treat them poorly, and ignore the average guys who are not as cute or exciting to them. They also fight over the cutest men when we go out. It all looks completely ridiculous to me.

[Woggle]

I have some very physically attractive friends, and they do tend to jump from man to man quickly and easily. They chase the hot player types who treat them poorly, and ignore the average guys who are not as cute or exciting to them. They also fight over the cutest men when we go out. It all looks completely ridiculous to me.

 

When you look at this behavior from women can you blame men for acting the way they do?

 

Men are solution oriented people and when one thing is not working we find something that does work. We generally don't like to chase our tails and run around circles getting nowhere.

 

 

More and more men are finding out that being commitment minded and loyal to women these days gets you nowhere while being a player who uses women almost gets you worshiped. You lay the two options in front of a man and the latter looks a whole lot more attractive than being a loyal doormat. You even said that you have a male friend who is a great guy who treats women well yet his girlfriend treats him like garbage.

 

What exactly does a man get out of being a loyal and committed guy these days? If this is how women treat men like this what's the point?

[Woggle]

Also women are not depreciating assets. Both men and women age and no amount surgery to make somebody into a creepy looking plastic person will change that.

 

The issue is is that when women are in their looks prime they don't have to develop their other qualities because men kiss their ass and it gets them anything they desire. I know women who have expensive houses and other things paid for by a married man. When they start losing their looks though they have no inner qualities to fall back on so then they start to panic and complain that no man wants to commit.

 

Men want to commit but to somebody that is not just an empty shell. The same thing happens with really hot men as well.

[627]

good looking men may have it easier than good looking women. I have seen many times in groups of friends I hang out with guys who(I think they are attractive for some reason) and there is a woman, who just met them in some cases, who is so obviously all over them, touching pushing sitting near them and they just don't give her any attention. I think in their mind they think they can do better or something. it happens often with some guys, never to me though I wonder what the secret is

[thatone]

Also women are not depreciating assets. Both men and women age and no amount surgery to make somebody into a creepy looking plastic person will change that.

 

The issue is is that when women are in their looks prime they don't have to develop their other qualities because men kiss their ass and it gets them anything they desire. I know women who have expensive houses and other things paid for by a married man. When they start losing their looks though they have no inner qualities to fall back on so then they start to panic and complain that no man wants to commit.

 

Men want to commit but to somebody that is not just an empty shell. The same thing happens with really hot men as well.

 

that's pretty much it.

 

and those people do not adjust well to age taking its toll, from my experience.

[SnowandStars]

We seem to live in an era of entitlement when it comes to everything, and it has carried over into relationships. It is always everyone else's fault. Someone else ALWAYS has it easier. Woe is me. I feel sorry for those who refuse to take responsibility for their shortcomings. I admit I have not been the most successful in the dating world, but I take full responsibility for that and I am on a constant journey of self-improvement.

 

The ones who have it easiest are the ones who follow this bit of wisdom-- "Like who likes you." Those who pursue you represent the portion of the human population that considers you worthy enough to be a mate. Those women you see chasing after bad boys shouldn't even be on your radar--if you are a good guy, you are too stable and sensible of a person for them. However, if those women represent the type of women you want (which seems to be the case)--become what they chase. Just be prepared for daddy and trust issues because they are damaged goods who suffer from low self-esteem. If that is what you want, it speaks volumes about who you are. There are women out there, like me, who adore good guys, but if the good guys are stepping over us to get to the maneaters, what are we to do? Start picking us. WE WANT YOU!

 

You have the power to attract what you want into your life. You cannot make someone like you if you do not meet their criteria, and the bitter people cannot seem to grasp this concept. Instead of chasing a dream (this is what many of these bitter people on here have been doing all their lives, hence why they are still alone and bitter), start paying more attention to those who show interest in you. Learn how to attract positive, mature people into your life. Change your friends and atmosphere if need be. You need to take full control of your life.

[AD1980]

 

 

start paying more attention to those who show interest in you. fe.

 

 

Some of us dont have anyone whos shown interest

[SnowandStars]

Some of us dont have anyone whos shown interest

 

That's not true. There is at least one girl in your life who has shown interest in you if you are above the age of say--20. She was probably fat, or ugly, or a difference race or ethnicity, but she liked you. Now if you didn't like her back, that's fine, but people who claim nobody has ever shown interest are lying 100% of the time. They are just counting the women/men they were attracted to. How else do I personally know men in wheelchairs, men with facial scars, men under 5'3, and obese men who are in serious relationships or married--btw, none of these guys are wealthy by a long shot. There was a man on TLC who had half of a body and he had a woman. There exist non-superficial women out there, go find them. Stop chasing the ones who don't want you and then coming on a message board to bash and stereotype all women.

[ScreamingTrees]

There exist non-superficial women out there, go find them. Stop chasing the ones who don't want you and then coming on a message board to bash and stereotype all women.

 

So, you think that this dude should go for someone to whom he's unattracted? Sounds desperate and inconsiderate, and who's to say someone's generally unattractive to the opposite sex just because they've only had an unattractive (most likely desperate) person hit on them? Who's to say he's scarred or shorter than 5'3"? I guess a lot of females that complain about getting unwanted attention might actually be a lot "uglier" than they fathom.

 

I figure that only ugly females are non-superficial, but then again, they must have some superificiality in their bones if they're nexting dudes they don't know for **** because they're "creepy".. you can't possibly tell me that no men your age try their luck with you if you're not butt ugly.. if a dude is seriously hitting on girls WAY out of his range, he'd probably realize he's doing it wrong sooner than later.

 

Personally speaking, advances from an obviously obese female wouldn't be well received.. Of course I would treat her like I would any other person, but I wouldn't see it working. I've got a 28" waist. (I'm also young and athletic, which probably wouldn't mesh well with a completely sedentary lifestyle.)

 

I am constantly working to improve myself in every aspect of my life, and I do it mainly for myself but hope that eventually someone else might see my worth as an individual. It's more than likely unlikely that an obese person has these qualities, unless for some medical reason they simply can't help their weight, and I genuinely feel for them, because people will assume that it's an excuse regardless of reality. If you're unkept, it also doesn't really help for first impressions, although I always give people the benefit of the doubt and I can't say I ever really judge or criticize someone, even in the privacy of my thoughts..

 

I guess I can't speak for everyone here..

Edited June 29, 2011 by ScreamingTrees

[John Michael Kane]

You have the power to attract what you want into your life. You cannot make someone like you if you do not meet their criteria, and the bitter people cannot seem to grasp this concept.

 

Your generalizing statement about "bitter" people shows your ignorance in the dating field.

 

Instead of chasing a dream (this is what many of these bitter people on here have been doing all their lives, hence why they are still alone and bitter)

 

Didn't know everyone who is still single and still looking for an honest, good partner are bitter.

 

start paying more attention to those who show interest in you.

 

Just because one shows interest in you doesn't mean they're the right partner.

 

Learn how to attract positive, mature people into your life. Change your friends and atmosphere if need be. You need to take full control of your life.

 

How inspiring.

[John Michael Kane]

A woman isn't gonna start showing intrest in a man just like that. Men have to work to get a woman intrested, its called pursuing.

 

Some men have to pursue longer and harder than others, I've heard stories of men who had to pursue their woman for a year before they even got a date.

 

I dont know what your defenition of showing intrest is, but very few men have ever had a woman show intrest in them. Most men have to pursue, aka show intrest first and put in effort to get a woman.

 

Wow generalizing much?

[ScreamingTrees]

A woman isn't gonna start showing intrest in a man just like that. Men have to work to get a woman intrested, its called pursuing.

 

Some men have to pursue longer and harder than others, I've heard stories of men who had to pursue their woman for a year before they even got a date.

 

I dont know what your defenition of showing intrest is, but very few men have ever had a woman show intrest in them. Most men have to pursue, aka show intrest first and put in effort to get a woman.

 

If you really have to "pursue" in the sense that it's like a mission objective that could go awry at any given moment, I think it should be more than obvious that she's "just not into you".. If you have any self respect, you wouldn't give a girl like that the satisfaction of watching you run around in circles to "prove yourself"..

 

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=p8vQF5eLfrM

[rafallus]

If you really have to "pursue" in the sense that it's like a mission objective that could go awry at any given moment, I think it should be more than obvious that she's "just not into you".. If you have any self respect, you wouldn't give a girl like that the satisfaction of watching you run around in circles to "prove yourself"..

 

Very much this.

 

Some people seem to have the notion that dating is some kind of struggle that takes an enormous effort and sacrifice just to get somebody interested. Such attitude reeks of desperation to me and is self-fulfilling prophecy.

 

PS. nice old-school sounding music in that link.

[ScreamingTrees]

Very much this.

 

Some people seem to have the notion that dating is some kind of struggle that takes an enormous effort and sacrifice just to get somebody interested. Such attitude reeks of desperation to me and is self-fulfilling prophecy.

 

PS. nice old-school sounding music in that link.

 

Thanks, brosquito.. Wish I could find more like it. I only know of the Digable Planets who have that jazzy, brassy olden sound.

[rafallus]

As for new ones, I know only Termanology (Preemo produced no less, dunno about new Del, Roots or J5's members - gotta check them out). In '80s OTOH they were dime a dozen.

Edited June 29, 2011 by rafallus

[rafallus]

I'm not as highly concerned with what they say they want to, as I am concerned with what they actually respond to when opportunity presents itself.

 

More concisely:

 

Actions speak louder than words.

 

Not to mention, you can pursue in multitude of ways, coming of stronger or weaker, more or less aloof or desperate. Also note that they may enjoy the attention from guy, but not necessarily want to get together with him.

Edited June 29, 2011 by rafallus

[somedude81]

Very much this.

 

Some people seem to have the notion that dating is some kind of struggle that takes an enormous effort and sacrifice just to get somebody interested. Such attitude reeks of desperation to me and is self-fulfilling prophecy.

Sadly, that is exactly what my life is.

 

I'm 30 years old and never had a relationship. Women are just not attracted to me.

 

Trying to date has been an enormous struggle. I don't see where you get off on saying that it "reeks of desperation to me and is self-fulfilling prophecy."

 

Right now the most I can hope for is that a girl will let me be her friend, and that is just depressing to me.

[rafallus]

You're not sure what I mean?

 

Example - do you see anything wrong with the picture, where guy pursues a girl for several months and jumps through any hoops she throws at him, afraid that if he doesn't comply, she won't talk to him again?

 

I do.