D-Glo Posted April 20, 2004 Share Posted April 20, 2004 Wow, where to start. I went to high school with this girl(She was into sports, I was just some guy, way back when). Well I ran into her a few years ago and started hanging out. We lost touch, but she was always on my mind. So, I ran into her last year. Come to find out, she's been with this other guy for going on 8 years. They have 2 daughters together. She basically forced him to have children with her as he really didn't want any. Her and I have fallen completely in love with each other. She's now living in another state with him and their 2 girls. She's afraid to leave him because she grew up without a father and she doesn't want the same for her girls. She tels me she has absolutely no feelings for him and from everything I've seen and heard from her family, it's completely true. However, her oldest daughter is completely attached to her daddy. He's said that if she leaves, he refuses to be a part time parent. Right now, she's thrown herself into her work so she doesn't really have to deal with the situation and the deeper she throws herself into the work, the more it distances her and I. I do nothing but help her with her business (I help with all her computer problems, and there are quite a few of them) and it's getting to the point that when we talk, all we talk about are her computer issues. I try and find other things to talk about with her, but everything she does at this point involves her work or her girls. I love her girls to no end, I would do anything for them. Now, I've always given 110% to her and her family (Mother/Brother/Children). Yet, more and more, I feel like I'm getting less and less in return. Now, I've never felt the way I do about her, with anyone. I've waited 31 (yes, I'm 31... wow, I feel old lol) years for this woman. Everything feels right. When we're actually together, it's like home. I've never been as open and honest with anyone and never felt so accepted as I do with her. So, what's the problem? Well, it's been over a year since I've been completely exclusive with her. Well, let me rephrase. I've been completely true to her for the last year. I've done nothing with anyone else and really don't want to. I really have no problem marrying her and taking care of her children and her, but she wants her girls to have their father (At least the older one). She's afraid her daugher would hate her for leaving him. And here I am, feeling more alone than I ever did when I had actually never met anyone and wondering what's going to happen in my life. I want children and a family (While I'd prefer children of my own, I would have NO problem just taking care of hers) and if I keep waiting, this may never even work out. I've been through the spectrum of feelings in the last year and now, I'm feeling more and more lost. I'm just hoping for a little advice from people that aren't close to the situation. I appreciate any comments... Everyone have a great day *smiles* Link to post Share on other sites
Becks84 Posted April 20, 2004 Share Posted April 20, 2004 Maybe she's kind of made up her mind and hasn't come straight out and told you. I say this because of how she is distancing herself from you and because of the way she now talks to you. It's not your problem if she is in an unhappy situation, but won't leave. You can only say so much to her, and then it is out of your hands. Im not doubting that you two love each other, but if she's not going to do anything about it, you must move on. You dont want to be with someone who wouldn't do anything to be with you. Why is she unhappy in her marriage anyway?? She seems confused and has a lot to deal with. She's only bringing you down with her. Unless she tells you there is for sure a future for the two of you...a real one...I would try my hardest if I were you to get over her and move on. I know, easier said than done. But I promise you someone else will come along. Life has a funny way of working itself out. I don't know if you even believe in God, but if you do, trust that he has your best interest in mind and has a plan for you! Good luck! Link to post Share on other sites
Author D-Glo Posted April 20, 2004 Author Share Posted April 20, 2004 She's not married to him... Also, she says I'm the light at the end of her tunnel. We've both decided god put us in each others lives for a reason, we just don't know why. In the last year, she's moved from not being able to say I love you to saying it everytime we end a conversation. She's opened up a lot and has said that I've shown her how to love again as she had closed herself off and was just "floating" through life. But, isn't that what she's doing now? Sooo much to this story... *sigh* sorry to not have included that in the original. Link to post Share on other sites
Arabess Posted April 20, 2004 Share Posted April 20, 2004 She may love you with all her heart D-Glo.....but she doesn't love you enough to put her feelings for you as a priority over her feelings about wanting to keep her family in-tact. She may not be committed to her husband....but she is committed to her family unit. The end result remains the same. She is NOT committed to you. This is as good as it's gonna get. Only YOU can decide if it's good enough for you. Link to post Share on other sites
Becks84 Posted April 20, 2004 Share Posted April 20, 2004 I totally agree. She may love you as best or as much as she can, but is it enough for you? Link to post Share on other sites
Author D-Glo Posted April 20, 2004 Author Share Posted April 20, 2004 Is it enough? No, I really don't think so. I realize I may not be perfect, but I have a lot to offer a woman... at least that's what my friends keep telling me *laughs*. Anyway, I just really don't know. It hurts too let go. I can't believe I found the woman I was looking for all my life, only to have her never really be a part of my life. It's truly sad to think that I may never love someone as much as I did her. Of course, you never love anyone the same, and I may love again (I'd truly love to believe I will), but I just can't help but feel empty at this point. I know what's being said is the truth... but it's so hard to stare down that lonely road when you've had the chance to go down it with someone. It seems so much more cold... Thank you all for the replies... Still happy to listen to anything anyone else has to say. Link to post Share on other sites
Girlie Posted April 20, 2004 Share Posted April 20, 2004 I do feel for you, but you have got to get out of this situation. She may love you, but as Arabess said, she has made it pretty clear that she is not going to leave her family unit. Whether that's a wise decision or not remains to be seen, but that's the way it is for now. It's time for you to drag yourself out there to meet other people. Perhaps God did want the two of you to meet, as you say, but perhaps also it's not for the reason that you may think. Perhaps this situation is supposed to teach you some valuable lesson or make you a stronger person. Like you said, you will love again, and you may be presently surprised in the future with someone you have even stronger feelings for. But you'll never find out if you hang around in this dead end situation. Link to post Share on other sites
Recommended Posts