vlg560 Posted June 27, 2011 Share Posted June 27, 2011 Hey everyone! I just wanted to know your opinions on this. My ex is going through GIGS, cheated on me, left me for another guy 5 months ago and went on to live the partying lifestyle. If she ever came running back or started contacting me again after she's done with GIGS, do you think she'd be deserving of another chance in case I still have feelings for her whenever that time comes? Will it be worth it or is not a good idea? Whatcha think? Link to post Share on other sites
poorguy Posted June 27, 2011 Share Posted June 27, 2011 It depends. For one it will be long time before that happens!!! Trust me when I tell you that it does happen too!! Usually you dream of the day she comes back, but it later as opposed to sooner. Well, by then you figure out how to live life without her and meet a new girl of your dreams because the new one will love every single thing about you that your ex did...and so it goes That's when it happens....In comes the ex. She will not throw little bits of crumbs either if she wants you. She will clear about what her intentions are. No wait I worded that wrong, ahe will be crystal clear!!!! So to answer your actually question as to whether you should take her back? It depends. It depends who she hangs out with, if shes grown, etc. Im not saying she has to be everything you think she should be and everything has to be the way you want it...I mean people are people, but the basic components of what makes a relationship healthy and happy need to be in place. Link to post Share on other sites
EgoJoe Posted June 27, 2011 Share Posted June 27, 2011 Homebrew has been working with me on this. By the time she does IF she does. You will not care because you will have moved on. Just tell yourself they aren't coming back and there is no use thinking about someone who isn't and won't be thinking about you until they come to terms with their egocentrism (GIGS) and that will be a long time. Make yourself better for you. Link to post Share on other sites
sun_moon Posted June 27, 2011 Share Posted June 27, 2011 Don't count on it, and if she did, I wouldn't take her back. BTW, if this happens, it will be years from now, and you wont even recognize your old you, you will most likely be disinterested in her and indifferent. Link to post Share on other sites
poorguy Posted June 27, 2011 Share Posted June 27, 2011 I was on my way home the other night and I heard a song..its an old song but, its about gigs and getting over it....only back then the phrase gigs wasnt coined yet Its called...if you could read my mind....google it Yes..I have an advanced degree in gigs!!! They come back every single time...I wouldnt say its years later, but its.a long time. I will post about my last ex when it officially occurs to let everyone know....oh and by the way...its beginging to happen In the mean time dudes take it on the chin like a champ!!!! It wont kill you, but it will make you stronger!!!! Shes going away for a while...get used to it!!!! Link to post Share on other sites
poorguy Posted June 28, 2011 Share Posted June 28, 2011 Oh by the way..if you just started your journey..download..stupid girl Be strong!!!!! Link to post Share on other sites
wilsonx Posted June 28, 2011 Share Posted June 28, 2011 thank you poorguy for your posts, this is my first ex ever with gigs I have no intentions on waiting around and dwelling on it either, im doing everything possible to make myself happier again and move on with my life Link to post Share on other sites
poorguy Posted June 28, 2011 Share Posted June 28, 2011 Yeah dude...its not about her..the relatioship,, or whatever..its about you....and all you...matter of fact a lot of you!!! Take really good care of you!!!! Girls love guys who do that Link to post Share on other sites
EgoJoe Posted June 28, 2011 Share Posted June 28, 2011 Yeah. I'm feeling a wellspring of negativity right now too, heh. Link to post Share on other sites
Fedor Posted June 28, 2011 Share Posted June 28, 2011 I wouldnt take back women who cheat. Just my advice. Link to post Share on other sites
Author vlg560 Posted June 28, 2011 Author Share Posted June 28, 2011 Thanks for all you insights guys, this really helps a lot and makes me even stronger. All in all I'm doing great, am kind of enjoying the single life again. Haven't started dating again yet, but I have to admit though, I will be more picky about the next person who I will consider seriously dating because I don't wanna go through this GIGS crap again as much as possible. I forgot to mention that my ex is 28 and I am 33. At around the second month after the breakup I kind of got into a stage that I wanted to rush into the dating scene again, just to maybe boost my ego or something, but now its been five months and my thinking has sort of changed, I'm now enjoying my freedom being single, no pressure and no collar and leash around my neck. I am in no rush to find the perfect girl because I know maybe someday she'll probably just come along, although whenever I see happy couples I kind of start to feel a little jealous & wonder why my relationship didn't click like theirs. Oh well...I'm just pouring out my thoughts here lol! Everyone who posted on this thread has indeed broadened my knowledge of this so-called GIGS, and I thank you! Link to post Share on other sites
wilsonx Posted June 28, 2011 Share Posted June 28, 2011 you do not have to date, you can still go out and have fun with women if you want to. don't friendzone yourself. if you meet someone you want to hang out with, ask them. say something like," hey you seem like an interesting person, we should hang out and you should buy me a cup of coffee sometime" guarantee to make her stop and think... because guys usually ask to buy women a cup of coffee... if anything she will smile at you because you are already different then 99.9% of the guys she's encountered Link to post Share on other sites
wilsonx Posted June 28, 2011 Share Posted June 28, 2011 Thanks for all you insights guys, this really helps a lot and makes me even stronger. All in all I'm doing great, am kind of enjoying the single life again. Haven't started dating again yet, but I have to admit though, I will be more picky about the next person who I will consider seriously dating because I don't wanna go through this GIGS crap again as much as possible. I forgot to mention that my ex is 28 and I am 33. At around the second month after the breakup I kind of got into a stage that I wanted to rush into the dating scene again, just to maybe boost my ego or something, but now its been five months and my thinking has sort of changed, I'm now enjoying my freedom being single, no pressure and no collar and leash around my neck. I am in no rush to find the perfect girl because I know maybe someday she'll probably just come along, although whenever I see happy couples I kind of start to feel a little jealous & wonder why my relationship didn't click like theirs. Oh well...I'm just pouring out my thoughts here lol! Everyone who posted on this thread has indeed broadened my knowledge of this so-called GIGS, and I thank you! you wont. if you caught the warning signs this time, the second you redflag yourself the next time, just end the relationship without hesitating and walk away. Link to post Share on other sites
Author vlg560 Posted June 28, 2011 Author Share Posted June 28, 2011 you wont. if you caught the warning signs this time, the second you redflag yourself the next time, just end the relationship without hesitating and walk away. wow thanks for sharing the knowledge wilsonx. You're right about not having to date. I actually hate dating and having these awkward conversations trying to impress the girl and all that...its just not my thing. I just usually dismiss these thoughts and think "well, whatever...if it'll come, it will come, but if not then so be it. Link to post Share on other sites
brokenfaith Posted June 28, 2011 Share Posted June 28, 2011 although whenever I see happy couples I kind of start to feel a little jealous & wonder why my relationship didn't click like theirs. Oh well...I'm just pouring out my thoughts here lol! Just because they appear happy out in public when you see them, doesn't mean everything is a fairy tale. Everyone has their problems behind closed doors. It may seem so wonderful, but in reality, it might not be. Also-- in the case of GIGS, if she cheated... I wouldn't even consider taking her back. For me, I believe cheating is just wrong. If it really was a case of GIGS and significant time has passed and the person has realized their mistake and is willing to work on it, that could be different story. Not saying things WOULD work, but could if there was no cheating. Link to post Share on other sites
Author vlg560 Posted June 29, 2011 Author Share Posted June 29, 2011 brokenfaith: So if this girl cheated on me, then I guess she's gonna do it again with the guy she's now with? I have to admit that I was stupid enough to think that I would even consider taking her back if she ever came around, but your advice as well as everyone else's has helped me make the decision to never accept her back. After this breakup, its probably gonna be hard for me to fully trust again, so I guess i'll just have to see what happens if I ever get to know someone else who I wanna consider having a relationship with... Link to post Share on other sites
wilsonx Posted June 29, 2011 Share Posted June 29, 2011 (edited) brokenfaith: So if this girl cheated on me, then I guess she's gonna do it again with the guy she's now with? I have to admit that I was stupid enough to think that I would even consider taking her back if she ever came around, but your advice as well as everyone else's has helped me make the decision to never accept her back. After this breakup, its probably gonna be hard for me to fully trust again, so I guess i'll just have to see what happens if I ever get to know someone else who I wanna consider having a relationship with... when you start off a new friendship/relationship whatever you are going to call it... you have to trust that person until they breach that trust. You do not have to trust them with your life but you have to trust them as a friend. Don't bring your past relationships into question on your current friendship/relationship. The part of moving on process of breakups is you eventually have to forgive your ex for what they have done to you. You should not ever tell them that but you should write a letter to them about all the good times, the hurtful times and at the end you have to forgive them. When you are done with the letter, read it to a close close friend as you were reading it to your ex. Then bury it/destroy it and move forward with your life and leave the past in the past. This is just my example of what im working on with moving forward past my current ex Also who cares what your ex does to the next guy, cheaters are cheaters are cheaters. I cheated on an ex a long time ago, guess what she did kick my ass to a curb. Taught me a valuable lesson and I haven't ever cheated since. Some people dont grow up though. I gave my ex a second chance, she took full ****ing advantage of it and look where i am today Edited June 29, 2011 by wilsonx Link to post Share on other sites
Author vlg560 Posted July 25, 2011 Author Share Posted July 25, 2011 Just a little update guys, its been a while but everything's goin' great! 6 months of NC so far, been concentrating on myself a lot...work, hobby, gym, friends, etc. I feel great! One little situation though, which i'd like your opinions on. Last Month (June), my ex-gf called one of my close friends to greet her on her birthday. After my friend told me about it, I just kinda wondered for a little bit why she would contact my friend if she really wanted to totally cut all connections to me whether it be direct or indirect. What are your thoughts? Thanks!! Link to post Share on other sites
Sugarkane Posted July 25, 2011 Share Posted July 25, 2011 I wouldn't bet on someone with GIGS coming back to you. They may never contact you again. Link to post Share on other sites
t_i Posted July 25, 2011 Share Posted July 25, 2011 I don't think you'll want her back. My first ex was a a-hole. I went back to him a few weeks after. Then 6 months after. It's been about 3 years since I last saw him. That he added me on Facebook. I'm doing well, was happy with uni and friends and he started manically commenting on everything. He said it had been ages etc etc. After 3 years of not being friends I think he was trying to run back again. I just deleted him. After everything he did, messed me about I just see him as abit of a loser who hasnt got anywhere in life. I think you'll find someone better before they come back and it sucks for them because they'll realise they let the best person go. Karrrma Link to post Share on other sites
brokendreamz Posted July 25, 2011 Share Posted July 25, 2011 VLG560 - We're in the same boat mate. I was 33 she is 28, Looks like I've been going through a similar thought process with regard to dating etc. We were together 8 years, what about you? Link to post Share on other sites
wilsonx Posted July 25, 2011 Share Posted July 25, 2011 Just a little update guys, its been a while but everything's goin' great! 6 months of NC so far, been concentrating on myself a lot...work, hobby, gym, friends, etc. I feel great! One little situation though, which i'd like your opinions on. Last Month (June), my ex-gf called one of my close friends to greet her on her birthday. After my friend told me about it, I just kinda wondered for a little bit why she would contact my friend if she really wanted to totally cut all connections to me whether it be direct or indirect. What are your thoughts? Thanks!! If I was you, I would work on not caring about it. The thing is you do not want this person back in your life. You need to get into this mindset. She made the decision to leave you instead of working on whatever demons she had in herself to fix the problems with herself and the relationship. I have analyzed a lot of my relationships to death and other peoples' and I will say people that cheat, do not love themselves. There's something internally thats bothering them. It could be something from the past, the present but it really does not matter because its not your problem to fix. It's theirs. That's the problem with a lot of relationships. Link to post Share on other sites
TheHurtProcess Posted July 25, 2011 Share Posted July 25, 2011 Just a little update guys, its been a while but everything's goin' great! 6 months of NC so far, been concentrating on myself a lot...work, hobby, gym, friends, etc. I feel great! One little situation though, which i'd like your opinions on. Last Month (June), my ex-gf called one of my close friends to greet her on her birthday. After my friend told me about it, I just kinda wondered for a little bit why she would contact my friend if she really wanted to totally cut all connections to me whether it be direct or indirect. What are your thoughts? Thanks!! Don't worry about it my friend. Enjoy the single life and have fun for now. You don't need trash like that in your life anyway. I've only been single for about 2 months and I'm loving it at the moment. I've just about forgotten my GIGS infested ex-gf. I think about her here and there, but much more rarely and not in the same manner (I don't have much feeling when I do). Just keep doing what you're doing. You'll eventually run into someone who is going to be there for you through thick and thin (unlike that rotten ex of yours, haha). Remember that. She doesn't deserve a second chance to screw you around. Link to post Share on other sites
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