Emilia Posted June 29, 2011 Share Posted June 29, 2011 i was told by my overprotective cousin who knows of this guy. To this point he hasnt showed me any real player qualities tho. I am way way way different than any girl hes ever been with and ive told him millions of times he isnt going to sleep with me. i dont sleep with people im not dating. he understands that. so somebody explain why he would coutinue to pursue me knowing that im not going to be an easy lay. he keeps randomally texting me .. hes done with drinking and wants to do something super mellow. I cant put the rumors and reality together. this isnt making sense..Ive seen this guy in a long term relationship. Because he knows you are only putting on this good girl act and you are eventually going to 'give in'. If you are curious then sleep with him, just quit the silly 'I'm special' routine. If you were so special you wouldn't have spent a minute more in his company. Link to post Share on other sites
Kamille Posted June 29, 2011 Share Posted June 29, 2011 Why should dating and relationships be about who has the power. It should be a partnership. She put having quick fun with a stranger above all else. She talks about morals and how she is not that type of girl, but won't take responsibility for her actions. Ideally, I totally agree. If she was honest with herself and truly respected her boundaries (instead of trying to convince him she's worth his time, then saying one thing and doing another - and doing one thing and then feeling guilty about it), I wouldn't mention the fact that she's acting like he has all the power. But she's acting like he has all the power, when really, she's the one who gets to make the right decisions for herself. She's disempowering herself, which is precisely how she gets to not take responsibility for her actions. If she respects herself, then it really doesn't matter if he's a player and she really could stop acting like he has some mysterious power over her. Link to post Share on other sites
I have no title Posted June 29, 2011 Share Posted June 29, 2011 I think you should listen to the advices that people are giving you, and to your inner voice that is warning you as well..Players DO have longterm r-ships, and that is not at all a sign that they aren't that bad...I've been dating a player for 1.5 year, and so what? Beleive me I HAD TO SUFFER IN THE END! he was a player in every single way and he seemed loving and caring, but he wasn't..Yes I am a girl with morals and manners too, and he needed 2 months of dating me, texting and going out with me to actually have sex with me...I knew he was bad, but I thought he would change...I was also way different from his previous girlfriends...I was innocent, polite, nice and naive..I fell for him like I neved did before, and I dedicated my entire self to him....you know what I got in the end? I got a broken heart, anti-depressants and a huge life-time experience..He threw my love away like a dirty pair of socks, with no regret and emotion..he threw it away and proceeded loving and caring his new girlfriend, the one he was cheating on me with for about 4 months...If he is a player, you better stay away from him...or no, better go for it, and learn from it, cause this is the only way you learn..He changed me as a person, and because of him I've learned how to recognize players and stay away from them...thats probably the only good thing I've got from that r-ship..Men like that never change..they just change their passion victims from time to time...anyway, in the end, you decide..some men are for life and some are for life experience....you need to go through this to know how to distinguish between them.. Link to post Share on other sites
Author pinklemon Posted June 29, 2011 Author Share Posted June 29, 2011 I've slept with a total of 3 people in my life.. All of which have been with guys who I've been dating. I had a weak moment and was under the influence of alcohol and some pressure. Honestly I didn't know how to say no I guess. Maybe I am not as innocent as I want to believe but my mistakes have been made. I did however go on a few other outtings with him prior to this disaster night.. So I didn't just randomally jump into bed with him. I did date a player and I did get cheated on but that experience changed my relationship for the better. I guess I like the player type. But as for now I've chilled out and havent intiated any sort of conversation although I have replied to a few texts. He tried to tell me randomally that his goal was different with me than it was with other girls. Hahah wow. Entertainment Link to post Share on other sites
Author pinklemon Posted June 29, 2011 Author Share Posted June 29, 2011 You guys say I'm acting like he has all the power.. And ideally he does. I gave in and made it seem like my word/morals had no meaning. How can I even attempt to get any power back .. In his eyes I am seen as weak prey Link to post Share on other sites
Celestine Posted June 29, 2011 Share Posted June 29, 2011 Well, he does have all the power. You won't get it back. You see, I have been in a similar situation. I met a guy, was warned that he was a player. I tried to stay away, but gave in to making out twice. But I never went back to his place, never picked up on him trying to get to mine. It's been 5 months since we first met and he's still all over me, texts me, hit me up on every party. He tries to get from me what I didn't give him. Even his friends say he's never been after a girl for this long. Does this mean he has changed or I am special? I guess not. He's just acting like a child at the supermarket, there are sweets everywhere to be seen but mommy just won't buy them. He got a taste of something but can't have it all. It's easy to keep his attention, you just have to play the game as well as he does. But that won't make him change unless he wants to. Link to post Share on other sites
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