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disgusted by myself


bikinibeach

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bikinibeach

not being with this person does not feel right.

 

but

 

i KNOW that i am not meant to be with someone who treated me that way. i don't choose that life for myself. none of it.

 

how does that make sense.

 

i have a therapist appt on thurs. i want to know WHY, what about me or my past would make me the kind of person to miss someone who valued their friends over me, was a horrible boyfriend, didn't appreciate me or show even consistent, active interest in someone who was out of their league and treated him like a king!

 

the only regret that i have about breaking up with him was that i didn't do it sooner.

 

but wow is it ever torture.

 

i feel like this is not about him anymore. maybe i am as sick as he is, but in another way.

 

at least i am getting help....

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