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Is it possible for my friend and I to ever get together


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Kain Highwind

Ok, this girl and I have been friends for about two years

 

Nearly a year ago, I asked he are out. It was apparently a really bad time because she got really mad at me. Right before I asked her, she told me that she went on a date the night before. I thought it was just a date but she was dating someone. I asked again, and she said we shouldn't talk anymore.

 

She got with the guy she was dating and we didn't talk until they split up a few months ago. We've been talking just fine since but we've only hung out once when we used to hang out like every other day. I've asked to hang out a few times and she finally said yes but yesterday she said he'd have to cancel cause she didn't have money for gas (she lives about 30 minutes away)

 

I offered to pay (I always do that if I'm the one that wants to hang out) or drive, and she said no cause she wasn't comfortable with it (even though I used to all the time).

 

I asked her if it had to do with what happened, and she said partly, because it went on for so long. She said she doesn't wanna be putting me on and that even though its in the past, it'll take a little while to get over it. She said that she got angry cause she didn't feel like I was listening to her (which I wasn't, I'll admit).

 

She said that she should have told me how she felt earlier in the relationship and that its partly her fault, that she thought I would eventually find someone I liked more. She said I need someone who has the same passion that I do in music (since I"m a musician) and she's not that kind of girl.

 

I pretty much told her that I apologize for what I did but I had to do it. I could let my feelings stay bottled up. I told her right then that I cared for her back then and that she really did mean a lot for me and that all I wanted was one chance. I told her that I may not be the best looking or coolest guy but that I cared and just wanted her to be happy, and that I could treat her well. I told her that she's an amazing person and that I really liked her a lot and that I just couldn't help my feelings

 

She also said she's still upset and hurt about something that happened like a year ago. Pretty much, I was talking with my friend and he said something about her being a golddigger and I texted her about him and she got the wrong impression that I said that about her. At the time, I played it off badly but when she brought it up again, I told her that I'd never think she was, since she isn't. She's a really nice person that's done a lot for me. I told her that I felt horrible that I could have even insinuated that about her

 

Is there ANYTHING I could to do maybe get this to work out? I mean, I told her I cared about her but I haven't told her exactly how she makes me feel. When I'm around her, I feel like the happiest man in the world. Whenever we've hung out, those have hoenstly been some of the best days for me in recent years. I'd do anythign for her and I still wish she'd just give me one chance to show that I really do care.

 

Could that gold digger comment have hurt my chances than I think? I mean, back then, we used to text all day every day or talk on the phone all night like three nights a week and it really felt like she liked me too back then

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Wait...we're still on her...? Is this the same girl that you asked about months ago who was dating someone else...?

 

Seriously...? :confused:

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You really want to put that square peg in the round hole don't you?

 

Flag #1

I asked again, and she said we shouldn't talk anymore.

 

Flag #2

She said she doesn't wanna be putting me on and that even though its in the past, it'll take a little while to get over it.

 

Flag #3

I told her that I may not be the best looking or coolest guy but that I cared and just wanted her to be happy. Here's a tip: She won't even consider dating you if you won't date yourself.

 

Flag #4

You keep using "hang out". Well, friends hang out. People who have feelings for each other date. They don't hang out.

 

The biggest flag of them all!

She said that she got angry cause she didn't feel like I was listening to her.

 

If you are even considering more than just friends, you clearly are not listening to her again. If you push this to the limit, she'll gut you like you've never been gutted before and I won't blame her. You just won't listen to her. Maybe when you are reduced to a blubbering pile of man, you'll finally listen to her.

 

Don't beat yourself up over the gold digger comments. Not to be harsh, but your chances were shot before that even happened.

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