DONT KNOW WHAT TO DO

[JRogers]

WARNING: THIS MAY BE LONG AND CONFUSING

 

I am a high school junior and have been spending a lot of time with a girl, Ali, of my own age. we always have a lot of fun together and i get the impression that she likes me. i know that i have feelings for her and would very much like to act on them. everyone assumes that we are going out already (i get asked a lot). The problem is that she has a very pretty friend who is a sophomore named Ashley. Ashley likes me. Ali and Ashley were talking on the phone one night and Ashley asked Ali if her and I were together. Knowing that Ashley likes me and because we are not officially together, Ali said no. Ashley began crying and said that she really likes me and that she would understand if Ali liked me. Ali assured her that we are just friends i have no feelings for Ashley, but i DO have feelings for Ali. These girls are close friends and it would hurt Ashley if Ali and i were together, but it would hurt me if we werent. i have no idea what to do.

[lovestruck]

WARNING: THIS MAY BE LONG AND CONFUSING I am a high school junior and have been spending a lot of time with a girl, Ali, of my own age. we always have a lot of fun together and i get the impression that she likes me. i know that i have feelings for her and would very much like to act on them. everyone assumes that we are going out already (i get asked a lot). The problem is that she has a very pretty friend who is a sophomore named Ashley. Ashley likes me. Ali and Ashley were talking on the phone one night and Ashley asked Ali if her and I were together. Knowing that Ashley likes me and because we are not officially together, Ali said no. Ashley began crying and said that she really likes me and that she would understand if Ali liked me. Ali assured her that we are just friends i have no feelings for Ashley, but i DO have feelings for Ali. These girls are close friends and it would hurt Ashley if Ali and i were together, but it would hurt me if we werent. i have no idea what to do.

If you have feelings foe Ali you should tell her. Ashley's probably going to get hurt either way and if you don't tell Ali how you feel because you don't want to upset someone else you'll just end up unhappy and wondering if it would've worked out.

[Tony T]

Thanks for the warning and yes, it was confusing but I think I've got it. Your interest is in Ali, but her friend Ashley likes you. I think that's it.

 

You are the man here and you need to decide the direction you want to go with this thing. What Ali told Ashley is immaterial. If you like Ali, you need to ask her out on a date and get things going. If Ali says no, then continue being her friend and leave it at that.

 

Ashley likes you right now. In a few weeks, she may not even remember your name. You will not hurt Ashley if you start seeing Ali and, if you do, that's not your problem. You actually should have made your move before this conversation between Ashley and Ali.

 

Don't even try to start a friendship with Ashley in the future because you are not interested in her and you may hurt her. She has already told Ali that she has an interest in you. However, if Ali turns you down, you may be so upset and begin to realize that Ashley is really pretty and might be a good catch and since Ali doesn't like you, it would be OK to see Ashley.

 

Now, in that case, like if Ali says she just wants to be friends and you ultimately end up seeing Ashley, then Ali could get jealous and start liking you more because she will then be in competition with her friend just to see if she can get you to like her again. Then you might drop Ashley and go to Ali, who you liked more in the first place.

 

But once Ali got you and won that game, she might just quickly lose interest and then both of them wouldn't want to date you. Then, you would be free to see others. And Ali and Ashley might no longer be friends, but that's not your problem.

 

Then again there is always the possibility that if Ali is not intersted, you could start being Ashley's friend and things could develop. Once you got to know her she could be the love of your life. Those things have happened...and Ali could be a friend to the both of you.

 

I don't see how you can lose here. Ali probably likes you but told Ashley the two of you were not together just to be cool but really wishing the two of you were together.

 

Let Ali know how you feel and go for it. Good luck.