jonny78 Posted June 28, 2011 Share Posted June 28, 2011 5 months NC and the cheating manipulative ex who made my life hell and left me for a 'friend' approached me in person, I walked off. She then grabbed me & burst out crying saying please speak to me PLEASE ... I walked off again. She left the area crying & left me a voicemail in tears saying she wanted to speak to me. I didn't respond, I feel... Fine. Am I a bad person for doing this? Or was it as fine as it felt it was? Link to post Share on other sites
radiodarcy Posted June 28, 2011 Share Posted June 28, 2011 i don't think you did anything wrong - - you did what you needed to do to protect yourself from someone who badly hurt you. i would have been very angry if my ex had pulled a stunt like that. i don't like drama. i'm not sure how old your ex is but she sounds like someone who is motivated by her emotions and not logic. tears and histrionics are not the way to get your point across. i would have walked away too. Link to post Share on other sites
melenkurion Posted June 28, 2011 Share Posted June 28, 2011 She cheated on you with one of your friends. Actions have consequences. Once she did that to you, you owe her nothing. It wouldn't have done you any good to have talked to her. That's all that counts. It was probably the wisest thing to do anyway, to ignore her and walk off. Who knows what negative emotions a "little chat" could have unleashed? So: that doesn't make you a bad person, it makes you a sensible one. You did what you needed to do for yourself, and that is just fine. Well done. Link to post Share on other sites
Sugarkane Posted June 28, 2011 Share Posted June 28, 2011 I totally think you did the right thing too. Link to post Share on other sites
Author jonny78 Posted June 28, 2011 Author Share Posted June 28, 2011 Thanks for the replies. It sucked to do... Part of me wanted to hear what she had to say, I still feel... something for her. However, I made a promise to myself to never speak to her again, I don't consider holding it a grudge, I just consider it necessary to move on - it's in the past. I think the ignorance is just killing her. I knew at the time that talking would have much more positive results for her and her own ego/reasons than it would for me, it would probably just cause me pain. I guess I won't be hearing from her again after that rejection, but that's probably for the best... Atleast she knows where I stand and I have some pride back. I could never forgove her... And if I have to live with the scars of my broken heart for the rest of time than she can live with the guilt. So this is the place I wanted to be at since everything happened 5 months ago. Funny how it feels, no satisfaction turning my back on her like I thought their would be - just sadness at how it ended up like this. Her choices I guess, not mine. Link to post Share on other sites
Sugarkane Posted June 29, 2011 Share Posted June 29, 2011 I understand how you feel jonny. I will never forgive my ex after what he did either. Link to post Share on other sites
melenkurion Posted June 29, 2011 Share Posted June 29, 2011 I don't consider holding it a grudge, I just consider it necessary to move on - it's in the past. ... So this is the place I wanted to be at since everything happened 5 months ago. Funny how it feels, no satisfaction turning my back on her like I thought their would be - just sadness at how it ended up like this. Her choices I guess, not mine. That's a pretty healthy way to feel, I think. The fact that you don't feel satisfaction is what shows you did this to protect your heart from further scars, not out of revenge. As you say, she made her choice the moment she cheated on you. You've been very strong throughout, and I hope that things are starting to get better for you. Link to post Share on other sites
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