'Woe-is-me' men - would you really rather have been a woman?

[Els]

This is something that has always piqued my curiousity, since I've been on these boards. See, in all my years of life, I've never encountered a man IRL complaining about 'how unfair things are to men' before, or at least not in the 'women have it good all the way and it sucks to be a man' fashion of a handful of the male posters on this board.

 

So. To those male posters who spend all their time here talking about that - would you really rather have chosen to be a woman? See, if life is sooooo good for women, and sooooo horrible for men, why would you not choose to be a woman if you could've?

 

Yet, for all the 'injustice' against men that are apparently prevalent in life, according to those posters , I've not seen a man, here or otherwise, say he would rather have been born a woman. I do know a handful of women who would rather have been born a man though.

 

So, I got about to listing the disadvantages (inherent and by societal pressure) of being a woman, and the advantages. Perhaps therein lies the answer to the question?

 

Disadvantages of being a woman (inherent):

 

 

• Menses once a month. You get bloated and crampy for a couple of days, bleed for about five, tampons and mooncups are uncomfortable to some women, pads are messy. And if you're on a really hectic schedule, it gets annoying.
  
• PMS for 2 weeks before that. No, it's not just some engineered construct by 'silly women', it's an accepted fact by the medical profession. You often get mood swings, difficulty concentrating, insomnia, water retention.
  
• Lower basal metabolic rate, body is naturally more prone to retain and store fat. Again, scientifically proven. You also build muscle slower. For a man and woman who work out the same amount and eat the same number of calories, the man will lose weight significantly easier than the woman.
  
• Lesser physical strength. Leads to all sort of unpleasant stuff like being an easier target for violent crimes and robberies.
  
• Three of the most prevalent cancers are related to the female reproductive system, whereas only one common cancer is related to the male one. That one also has a very good 5-yr-prognosis usually.
  

Disadvantages of being a woman (by choice/societal pressure/societal construct):

 

• Gaffes that are 'okay' for a man to do (farting in public, cussing/making crass jokes, belching, etc), are taboo for a woman to do.
  
• In the same vein, men can go topless wherever they please, flaunt their armpit and leg hair, and rarely shave their pubes.
  
• Looked down upon as somehow less competent, especially in a male-dominated career field. Make less for doing the same work.
  
• Beauty standards are higher. The time and money spent by the equally good-looking man and good-looking woman are vastly different. If you think it's just because most women dally around, try asking professional male and female models/actors (unless said actor is playing the role of Jack Sparrow or Legolas or something). It's a known fact that prep and dress for the females are usually more time consuming.
  
• If you and your husband choose to have a child, you will be the one carrying the baby for 9 months (with a whole host of problems/symptoms), going into labour, and having PN depression and weight gain after. In most cases, you will be the one expected to do the bulk of the childcare - if not by your husband, then by society.
  
• Official male wear is more comfortable than official female wear, for the most part. Subjective, but mostly concurred upon. Anyone who thinks closed-toe pumps are comfortable are deluding themselves - they may be if you throw a fortune on them, but on average a well-made male office shoe is a helluva lot more practical and comfortable.
  
• If a young woman and man both sleep around, the woman is not only more likely to be labeled negatively, but also more likely to end up with either single parenting a child or going through the mental upheaval of being the one to have an abortion.
  
• Really, I could go on...
  

Advantages of being a woman:

 

• Some men pay for you on dates. Sometimes.
  
• Some men help you when you're unable to carry something due to aforementioned inherent lack of strength. Sometimes.
  
• Men ask you out instead.
  
• If you have a good man who thinks the world of you, he'll pamper you and take care of you and support you, and you might not need to work, according to the male posters here. I actually know very few men who are willing to support their wives to sit at home and chill, and those who do usually only continue to do so if the wife reciprocates by doing all the traditional female chores and pampering him in return... but anyway, just listing this so the whole thread doesn't turn into this.
  
• If you're a bitch and marry a rich guy and he doesn't think of having a pre-nup done, you can possibly screw him for a great deal of his assets. Becoming more and more prevalent for men to do the same to richer women, though.
  
• More erogenous zones and longer, better orgasms. Possibly nulled by the fact that the majority of society still considers vaginal sex as the staple of sexual activity, however, especially less educated and open-minded men, and studies have shown that more men than women are able to orgasm from vaginal sex. Even though some women do find vaginal sex their favourite sexual activity.
  
• ... Can't think of anything else. Any of you 'woe-is-me' guys feel like adding?
  

 

 

Please, if anyone's going to post just nitpicking a few of the above points, don't bother. I understand many of them are subjective. If you really want to overturn my premise, make a list that counters mine and turns the tables. And no, I'm not whining, really. This is my first post about such - it just galls me that so many male posters here whine and whine and whine and whine without even considering the other side of the coin.

 

Or wait, did you guys actually realize all this already, but are just 'woah-is-me'ing because it's fun?

Edited June 28, 2011 by Elswyth

[oaks]

Or wait, did you guys actually realize all this already, but are just 'woah-is-me'ing because it's fun?

 

I think that most of them do it because complaining is easier than doing something about it.

[somedude81]

You forgot a couple advantages to being a woman.

 

Being able to sleep with just about whomever you want, whenever you want.

 

The ability to always have male companionship. Guys she's sleeping with and guys who will never touch her. There will always be a few guys begging for her attention. Which also means it's possible to go from relationship to relationship with limited to no downtime. In other words, only being single because she wants to be.

 

I don't know if I'd want to be a woman, but one thing I'm pretty sure of, is that if I was one and basically had my same personality and level of attractiveness; I'd had have several long term relationships and possibly be married by now. Instead of a being a 30 year old guy still trying to get his first girlfriend.

[nyc_guy2003]

Another disadvantage of being a woman -- looks are usually gone by 35 or after having the first baby, whichever comes first, whereas men into their 60s can still be considered good looking and/or doable by a wide age range of women.

 

Advantage of being a (good looking) woman -- preferential treatment everywhere you go, with people of both genders tripping over their feet to cater to you. Of course this advantage goes away the day you lose your looks, but from the age of 18-35 or so you're at the top of the social ladder.

[Els]

You forgot a couple advantages to being a woman.

 

Being able to sleep with just about whomever you want, whenever you want.

 

The ability to always have male companionship. Guys she's sleeping with and guys who will never touch her. There will always be a few guys begging for her attention. Which also means it's possible to go from relationship to relationship with limited to no downtime. In other words, only being single because she wants to be.

 

I don't know if I'd want to be a woman, but one thing I'm pretty sure of, is that if I was one and basically had my same personality and level of attractiveness; I'd had have several long term relationships and possibly be married by now. Instead of a being a 30 year old guy still trying to get his first girlfriend.

 

I don't think you would've had a higher chance of having several LTRs, to be honest. I agree that you would've had an easier time at getting casual sex - but don't forget you'll be the one judged negatively for it.

 

But, that doesn't answer the question. If that advantage does not mean enough to you to prefer to have been a woman, does it really mean much at all?

 

@oaks: Ha, so true. If I made 298632894632 threads complaining that I was never allowed to go out at night by my parents while all of my male relatives were, I'd still be stuck at home (and a complete virgin)...

[vsmini]

:bunny:

 

I love this post!

 

Granted - lots of women on here complain but I notice men take the cake on the woe-to-me b*tching BY FAR!

 

Jaysus. We even had a post not too long ago about 1 in 3 men living in poverty and how women who expected a man to pay must be a selfish c*nt because of it.

 

You could always just say you don't have the money and if she still insists you can kick her to the curb. Simple solution. But that one would rather weep about how men are in poverty.

 

It's like when a man catches a cold or gets a little sick it's this HUGE dramatic deal. Big babies.

Edited June 28, 2011 by vsmini

[vsmini]

I'd also like to add - that arguing about which gender has it better is futile! And whining about it just makes you look like a cry baby b*tch who can't take responsibility for himself/herself

[nyc_guy2003]

You forgot a couple advantages to being a woman.

 

Being able to sleep with just about whomever you want, whenever you want.

 

The ability to always have male companionship. Guys she's sleeping with and guys who will never touch her. There will always be a few guys begging for her attention. Which also means it's possible to go from relationship to relationship with limited to no downtime. In other words, only being single because she wants to be.

 

I don't know if I'd want to be a woman, but one thing I'm pretty sure of, is that if I was one and basically had my same personality and level of attractiveness; I'd had have several long term relationships and possibly be married by now. Instead of a being a 30 year old guy still trying to get his first girlfriend.

 

This is very true, but probably most applicable to attractive women. I have a very good looking female co-worker who I've already witnessed being asked out by no less than a dozen guys since she started working here a few weeks ago. And these guys aren't just average schmos on the street, they're all young, wealthy, successful business people that are representative of the industry she and I work in. Contrast this to some of my male friends who've never even been on a dozen dates in their entire lives.

[Els]

:bunny:

 

I love this post!

 

Granted - lots of women on here complain but I notice men take the cake on the woe-to-me b*tching BY FAR!

 

Jaysus. We even had a post not too long ago about 1 in 3 men living in poverty and how women who expected a man to pay must be a selfish c*nt because of it.

 

You could always just say you don't have the money and if she still insists you can kick her to the curb. Simple solution. But that one would rather weep about how men are in poverty.

 

It's like when a man catches a cold or gets a little sick it's this HUGE dramatic deal. Big babies.

 

Awww, thanks. One of our greatest 'boohoo life is unfair to men' posters also said he felt the method of rebalancing the unfairness of a man feeling obligated to pay for a couple of meals would be to preferentially employ men instead.

 

To be fair I think plenty of men aren't whiners - the bf bears his illnesses so stoically that I sometimes don't even know he's sick. I'm sure some of the men here are like that. But the others really take the cake, don't they?

Edited June 28, 2011 by Elswyth

[Feelsgoodman]

What an absurd thread. Do you really want to compare laundry lists of the advantages and disadvantages of each sex? I can see this being a real productive discussion

 

The bottom line is that this is a forum about dating so naturally people come here to vent and discuss their problems anonymously. Here's something you apparently don't know: men don't generally like to discuss dating problems with their friends. It's against the male nature to put your vulnerabilities on display. So just because you never hear certain sentiments expressed in real life does not mean that the men you know in real do not harbour them.

[oaks]

You could always just say you don't have the money and if she still insists you can kick her to the curb. Simple solution. But that one would rather weep about how men are in poverty.

 

At this time of year (if you're in the northern hemisphere) it's summer... there are lots of free outdoor dating opportunities, even in the evenings. I paid for my last date... but it 'cost' me an ice cream. That's less than I spend on beer when I'm out with my friends. People who complain about not having the money to date need to get more creative about finding cheaper ways to date!

[Nexus One]

If the guys who have self-pity are blaming women for it, then they're blaming the wrong cause.

 

Statistically men are in the disadvantage, as for every 100 women, 105 men get born. So there are more young men on earth than young women. The table only turns at old age, as women tend to get older than men. Due to the fact that women get older than men, there are more women than men on earth.

 

But the fact that there are more women than men on earth does not change the fact that there are too few young women available for young men.

 

What does that mean for young men? That means you have competition.

 

What guys need to realize is that they have a statistical disadvantage and that they face competition. They can't blame women for that. You can do two things as a guy, you can go and sit in a corner an cry over it and indulge in your self-pity, or you can go and face the competition. A simple example is working out. Only 2 percent of men in the world have a six-pack, that means that you can already out-compete most guys in that area. In many wealthy nations a large percentage of guys are also overweight, so that's another area you can out-perform the competition.

 

Self-pity and unjustly blaming women is not going to change anything for your situation. Only action is will.

[vsmini]

What an absurd thread. Do you really want to compare laundry lists of the advantages and disadvantages of each sex? I can see this being a real productive discussion

 

The bottom line is that this is a forum about dating so naturally people come here to vent and discuss their problems anonymously. Here's something you apparently don't know: men don't generally like to discuss dating problems with their friends. It's against the male nature to put your vulnerabilities on display. So just because you never hear certain sentiments expressed in real life does not mean that the men you know in real do not harbour them.

 

I think the OP's point is not to point out how women have it worse but that we have issues just like men have issues but MEN seem to be more vocal on here about their disadvantages as a gender in general.

So the OP isn't making a laundry list to make men realize how "hard" we have it and to shut up but to realize that EVERYONE has issues on both sides of sex and to just deal with it. Because, as I've said before, arguing who has it the hardest based on gender alone, is futile.

[vsmini]

If the guys who have self-pity are blaming women for it, then they're blaming the wrong cause.

 

Statistically men are in the disadvantage, as for every 100 women, 105 men get born. So there are more young men on earth than young women. The table only turns at old age, as women tend to get older than men. Due to the fact that women get older than men, there are more women than men on earth.

 

But the fact that there are more women than men on earth does not change the fact that there are too few young women available for young men.

 

What does that mean for young men? That means you have competition.

 

What guys need to realize is that they have a statistical disadvantage and that they face competition. They can't blame women for that. You can do two things as a guy, you can go and sit in a corner an cry over it and indulge in your self-pity, or you can go and face the competition. A simple example is working out. Only 2 percent of men in the world have a six-pack, that means that you can already out-compete most guys in that area. In many wealthy nations a large percentage of guys are also overweight, so that's another area you can out-perform the competition.

 

Self-pity and unjustly blaming women is not going to change anything for your situation. Only action is will.

 

Well said.

[Els]

What an absurd thread. Do you really want to compare laundry lists of the advantages and disadvantages of each sex? I can see this being a real productive discussion

 

If a man (or woman) wants to complain that life is 'unfair to men/women in general', then yes, he/she had darn well better have a list to back up his/her logic. Otherwise, it's just all empty words. As I suspected.

[USMCHokie]

When I was in my 'woe-is-me' phase, I would have rather been a hot dude.

[Feelsgoodman]

I think the OP's point is not to point out how women have it worse but that we have issues just like men have issues but MEN seem to be more vocal on here about their disadvantages as a gender in general.

So the OP isn't making a laundry list to make men realize how "hard" we have it and to shut up but to realize that EVERYONE has issues on both sides of sex and to just deal with it. Because, as I've said before, arguing who has it the hardest based on gender alone, is futile.

But her 'list' is so laughably ridiculous. She talks about things like menstruation and less comfortable "official" wear as proof that women have it worse than men...what does that even have to do with dating??

 

I guess I could play along and talk about how men have to go and fight/die for their country when their is a war or how getting a penis enlargement is more difficult and risky than breast augmentation...but seriously...

[Els]

But her 'list' is so laughably ridiculous. She talks about things like menstruation and less comfortable "official" wear as proof that women have it worse than men...what does that even have to do with dating??

 

I guess I could play along and talk about how men have to go and fight/die for their country when their is a war or how getting a penis enlargement is more difficult and risky than breast augmentation...but seriously...

 

Um. Go ahead?

 

And no, the 'woe-is-me' guys say 'it sucks to be a guy', or 'life is unfair to men', period. Last I checked, dating did not encompass all of life.

[Queen Zenobia]

These "which sex has it easier" threads always amuse me. Equality (whether between the sexes or people in general) is completely relative, depending on who/what's being compared, when and in what context.

 

In any occasion, the threads on here where I see men complaining tend to be just men venting and/or complaining about specific instances where men are at a disadvantage or have been. I don't expect them to equally complain about how hard it is to be a woman, because that's not their point of view.

 

We also have to keep in mind about the type of men who come to LS. Most of the males I know in real life who have no trouble with dating do not come to LS and would not join any similar forum. Meanwhile, men who have trouble with dating do come to LS and their frustrations come out in their threads. It's the nature of the internet, not some moral flaw on anyone's part.

[musemaj11]

I wouldn't wanna be a woman solely because I don't want to have to suck dick.

[Els]

These "which sex has it easier" threads always amuse me. Equality (whether between the sexes or people in general) is completely relative, depending on who/what's being compared, when and in what context.

 

In any occasion, the threads on here where I see men complaining tend to be just men venting and/or complaining about specific instances where men are at a disadvantage or have been. I don't expect them to equally complain about how hard it is to be a woman, because that's not their point of view.

 

We also have to keep in mind about the type of men who come to LS. Most of the males I know in real life who have no trouble with dating do not come to LS and would not join any similar forum. Meanwhile, men who have trouble with dating do come to LS and their frustrations come out in their threads. It's the nature of the internet, not some moral flaw on anyone's part.

 

Oh, I agree. It does irk me when people make general statements without considering the other point of view, though. Especially when, all things considered, the general consensus is that they probably have the advantage in many areas of life, even. It's like being a person from a third world country, watching an American citizen bitch about how much it sucks to live in America.

 

...Maybe I should make a thread about that one, too.

[vsmini]

But her 'list' is so laughably ridiculous. She talks about things like menstruation and less comfortable "official" wear as proof that women have it worse than men...what does that even have to do with dating??

 

I guess I could play along and talk about how men have to go and fight/die for their country when their is a war or how getting a penis enlargement is more difficult and risky than breast augmentation...but seriously...

 

Yea - I've already explained it. I guess you just don't understand what she means. We'll just agree to disagree.

[Els]

Saying that more men than women die fighting in wars is like saying more women than men die in childbirth. Both are terribly sad, but both encompass such a small percentage of the population that it can't really be used for general statements. Pretty sure NONE of the woe-is-me men here have even ever served in the military. Try harder, FGM.

 

Women have it harder in life, except for dating but thats really it. I guess some men, maybe even me seems like the "woo is me" type at times... but thats because I and most men here only discuss the dating aspects while ignoring all the other hardships for women.

 

I wouldn't wanna be a woman though, mainly because I'd be terrified 24/7. Rapists, Perverts, Stalkers, Serial killers... most of them target women. Aswell as abusive husbands/boyfriends, the chances are that most women have been abused by a man at some point in their lifes.

 

Not to mention that alot of men have tendency to be jerks, only looking for casual sex, talking down to women and generally acting in a jerky inconsiderate way.

 

And thats just in the US. Think about the middle east, where its even worse for women. They are basicly "owned" by their husbands over there.

 

Sex seems worse as well, just the act of getting penetrated is "submissive". It seems almost humiliating many times, not only in porn. Think about it, most men are selfish and lazy... They'll nag the woman for a blowjob and then do a wham bam thank you ma'am. And it's done. Doesn't seem that great to me.

 

First time I've ever agreed with you... darn right about the bolded part. Except for the last paragraph, though - I think/hope more men are good lovers than you give them credit for.

[Queen Zenobia]

Men seem to be very extreme. For example. The worst persons in the world, the child killers, mass murderers, rapists and the most evil people... Are pretty much all men. But the "best" persons in the world, those who have done most good and great things in the world, heroes, world leaders... are pretty much all men aswell.

 

There's very few women who have done really evil things. But there's not that much women who have done great things either compared to men. There are women who have done great things aswell offcourse though.

 

With the exception of course of Queen Victoria, Queen Elizabeth I, Joan of Arc, Queen Zenobia (my namesake), Maria Theresa, Catherine the Great, Mrs. Wilson, etc.

 

Without any of them the world is a very different place.

[Els]

Eh, I concur that in history, more men than women have made a mark.

 

Although that would partly be due to societal repression of women during most of it. It would be more difficult to obtain the same achievements for a woman.