bonifed Posted April 21, 2004 Share Posted April 21, 2004 Hi there. I am a young white female about 5'6. I weigh about 125lbs, have an nice hour-glass figure (36-24-37), long shapely legs, flat and toned tummy, round firm butt, strong arms and shoulders, and....saggy boobs. I know that most of you guys have heard this type of thing a hundred times and can already anticipate the question that is likely to follow. I urge you, however, to recognize the opportunity you have here. As far as I can tell, most guys tend to construct white lies to sedate their self-conscious wives and ease their troubled minds. Here is your opportunity to be totally and openly honest. Basically, all I want to know is...could you be totally satisfied with a woman of that description? Do any of you find 'relaxed' boobs attractive?? I feel incredibly silly typing this out right now, but...to be honest...I am completely consumed by this issue. Insecurity hasn't decreased the frequency of sex but it has diminished the quality. I feel awkward in certain positions and have noticed a tendency, on my part, to maneuver myself to enhance my nicer assets. I have even started to dream about boob jobs <<sigh>>. When I ask him this question he usually responds with anger and frustration. These emotions make it difficult for me to believe him when he tries to reassure me. I suppose that’s all the background you need. All I really want is a guys opinion. I guess it’s the truth I'm seeking. Thanks for your time. Link to post Share on other sites
dyermaker Posted April 21, 2004 Share Posted April 21, 2004 Your husband deserves your respect, yeah? Part of respect is trust, and with trust comes the vulnerability that you seem to be afraid of. If you cannot trust your husband, he shouldn't be your husband. I'm not denying that men tell little white lies, I don't even see it as significantly destructive behavior. However, this is not the case of a little white lie--it's the motivation behind your intimacy. You need to trust that the nature of your attraction has nothing to do with your looks, let alone your boobs. "Relaxed" breasts do not sound alluring to me personally, yet the rest of you seems to describe a gorgeous woman. I'm just speaking physically. If your husband married you for your physical attraction, he's not very intelligent--what I'm getting at is, you need to give him the credit he deserves. The nature of marital attraction lies not in gravity's effects on boobs, but instead on a connection that physical imperfections are incapable of severing. Unfortunately, insecurity IS capable of severing that connection, so your husband has every right to be upset. Abandon conventional wisdom about males. They are capable of love and emotional intimacy. I think that if you take a step back and examine your marriage again, you'll find that the only thing threatening his intimate connection with you is your insecurity, not your breasts. Physical attraction is a psychological phenomena, it has to do with chemicals in the brain. Certain media influences train our minds to react, chemically, with certain features. Love also *****s with your mind, a LOT. You think Calvin Klein was bad, wait until a person falls in love--this is when the chemicals really start firing. As long as your man loves you, I mean genuine love, you WILL be attractive to him, it's involuntary. Don't think about boob jobs, think about maintaining that connection that provides a level of intimacy necccessary for you to remain attractive to him. I'd like to give men a little more credit, by pretending that we have more volition over our mind, but while perky breasts may be stellar on MTV, it could never compete with the chemical reaction we have to the women we love. Yes, there are men out there who aren't attracted to their wives, but that's NOT because of the appearance of her breasts, but rather a concession, by either the man or the woman or even both, to no longer work on that intimacy that creates attraction. Let loose, you both deserve better Link to post Share on other sites
Fritz Posted April 21, 2004 Share Posted April 21, 2004 Sounds a lot like the eternal guy question of, "is my dick big enough? Too small? Do I pleasure her?" We all have non "perfect" parts that we wish were more "perky" or bigger or whatever. If your partner loves you for who you are, who cares? To answer though, no saggy boobs don't bother me. Emotional connections matter more than the physical. We all get old in the end. Plastic/sillycone boobs do tend to bother me though. Link to post Share on other sites
soccorsilly Posted April 21, 2004 Share Posted April 21, 2004 I agree--it is the person and not necessarily the body. Were they "saggy" when you met? Then no proble,! Believe me he does not have an issue with them. A result of childbirth? No problem, look at the return--a child! You are a young attractive (seemingly healthy based on your physical description) woman married to a loving man. Roll with it. And remember, as age takes its toll on us all (and it will) he will develop a paunch and he will become insecure about it and you will say that he is still attractive. RIGHT??!! Link to post Share on other sites
bonified Posted April 21, 2004 Share Posted April 21, 2004 Thank you all... I have had a problem with obsessing about my appearance since I was a little girl. Actually, the status of my breasts is the product of an over zealous workout program in which I lost too much weight. In a way, I suppose they are a testament to the destructive nature of my obsession. I have noticed that the appearance of a guy has very little to do with the level of attraction I feel for him. When I think about my husband in his later years with a big ol'belly and white hair....I feel nothing but love for him and that future image. It's easy for women to forget about the simple truths to which you all refer...mostly due to media and marketing predators, I suppose. The forces of attraction are still a mystery; however, decidedly more than what the pages of Maxim would lead you to believe. Your well thought out comments ring true...and lead me to believe that I have some work to do...internally. Thank you and much love Link to post Share on other sites
Papillon Posted April 21, 2004 Share Posted April 21, 2004 OMG! When I started reading this thread it sounded like one of those amateur erotic stories you can get anywhere on the net, what with the measurements! You know, you could always get plastic surgery, if it really really bothers you that much. But I'm left wondering whether your breast are really that saggy, or is is just your self-image of them? It's true that our self-image is always a direct result of how we think others perceive us, i.e it's extrinsic and not an intrinsically achieved perspective of self. To be honest, there is no generic answer as to what men like. Some like'em big, some like'em saggy, some like'em small. But men like breasts. No question about that. Have you asked your SO what HE likes? I'll bet that he would HATE for you to have any surgery whatsoever. Isn't that what's important? Link to post Share on other sites
tac719 Posted April 21, 2004 Share Posted April 21, 2004 My wife has the same problem in regards to her self image. She thinks she has small breasts. To me they are perfect, I couldn't wish for a more beautiful woman. When we love someone they are beautiful as a whole. It's all internal. Link to post Share on other sites
AtomicOrphan Posted April 22, 2004 Share Posted April 22, 2004 ...it would be something else. Maybe you'd think your butt was too big, or your ankles were too thick. The point is, women are bombarded with a hundred reasons a day to feel insecure about their bodies. Your body will never be good enough. You must buy, buy, buy more, more, more consumer products to improve it. And whatever you do DON'T LET YOUR BODY GET OLD! It's not about your breasts, it's about the values to which we are conditioned to respond. We don't give enough thought to how toxic our commercial media really is to us. Now, if you want to feel insecure, try being like me, or any other man who is five feet five. I had to give up on singles ads because women won't even respond to a short man's ad. Oh, and the media is always coming up with "studies" that show how short men make less money, don't get married, don't get respect, have more heart attacks, commit more suicides, don't get promoted.... I must constantly remind myself to transcend all the media trash talk and the premium our society puts on male height. I have a lot of sympathy for overweight people who are similarly barraged with negativity. Soiciety doesn't make it easy for you to feel good about your body. Some people don't have any self-image issues, and god bless 'em. For those of us who do, it's not easy, but we must try to give the finger to social pressures and rise above the BS. Link to post Share on other sites
Potatohead Posted April 22, 2004 Share Posted April 22, 2004 Actually I could not give a rats about boobs....I am a butt man Every man is differant...and has their...umm priorities......T & A is around the wrong way as far as I am concerned...should be A & T And no ...no one is perfect...in fact I find perfect particularly unattractive....perhaps because perfect would be unattainable for me...lol.....I like realistic fantasys My wifes bod is far from perfect...but I would take her over Elle any day...but ssshhh I would never tell her that....quite that way...lol Link to post Share on other sites
Bonified Posted April 23, 2004 Share Posted April 23, 2004 You guys are too funny... I'll work on my finger giving techniques and don't worry Mr. potatohead...I won't tell<<grin>> Link to post Share on other sites
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