Sassygirl2 Posted June 29, 2011 Share Posted June 29, 2011 In the 10 weeks since my exbf dumped me, I have called, texted, emailed maybe a total of 10 times. The reason I tried to contact him was to talk about the dog we were still sharing. We had just bought her before the break up because we were going to move in together. We tried to share her every other week or so but it was hard on the dog. At first he was nice when I called. He would answer the emails or texts. He acted like a human. In the last month, he has not responded at all about taking the dog. I have offered her to him twice and he fianlly declined by email. I told him that I was going to have to find her a better home with a family who was home during the day to take care of her. I didn't hear from him after that. I found a new home for her last week and she is living with a friend of mine who posted new pics on my FB wall and thanked me for giving up a part of my family. It was really heartbreaking for me and my kids to give her up, but it was the best decision for her. Last weekend, my ex, his mom and his sister all "un-friended" me on FB because of it. His sister wrote me an email to explain WHY she unfriended me. She said that she couldn't believe I gave the dog away after her brother had "offered to take her from me" and he had "offered to buy her from me". This was a flat out lie because he never offered me that and he had ignored my requests to take her for the last few weeks. Here comes the good part -well, bad part. I went over to his house (bad decision on my part) yesterday after work to see if he would talk to me. He wouldn't come outside or open the door. He told me to go away and that he had nothing to say to me. I spoke with him through the door and asked him if he would come outside and talk to me about the dog situation. He said No and just kept saying he didn't owe me anything. I finally left and then last night received a very mean email telling me to never contact him again or he would call the police on me. He also told me that I need to accept that our relationship is over and that we have nothing to talk about. It was really hurtful. I am being honest when I say that I did not contact him often and when I did, it was either to set up a time to exchange the dog or ask if he wanted her for a weekend, etc. I never called and said anything about the relationship. I know it's over. I just don't get how a person can be so damaged that they can't even open the door and speak to someone you spent a year and a half with? We were planning on moving in together with our kids.....I know why he broke up with me but I don't know why he could never have a conversation about it. I didn't cheat on him. I got very angry with him during our last fight and we were both yelling in front of the kids (not good). He blamed me for the fight because I lost my temper. He couldn't take any responsibility for anything - ever. I know it wasn't just me but that he couldn't deal with anything controversial or confrontational. Neither one of us was happy and I see that now. It just hurts that he would threaten me after all of this and say such hurtful things. I won't contact him again, but what a waste of a relationship. Now I look at the R as very negative instead of trying to remember the good stuff. I'm sure it will get better at some point but what do you guys think? Link to post Share on other sites
Denillad Posted June 29, 2011 Share Posted June 29, 2011 (edited) Sassygirl, this too shall pass. Believe me but it's so up to you though. He is telling you what he needs so give it to him. Leave him alone! I chased my ex for 2 years n when I came to my breaking point, I gave him what he wanted and the reality is you need it more than you realize. I know you share a dog but I hope you can find a way to work things out for YOURSELF, not for him without contacting him. I would suggest absolute NC for awhile. You need to find yourself again, i know how it hurts, I was suicidal after my break up and really lost myself in it. You will get pass the pain, the dissappointment, the loss and the anger but it's up to you how well and when this happen. It took me far too long but I'm doin it. He is sniffing around now but I'm way pass that so I'm not gonna my time nor him, I'm not there anymore. NC for almost 6 months and I'm so much happier but it doesn't happen overnight and you have go NC on all level and just focus on you. Stay sassy n strong!!!! Edited June 29, 2011 by Denillad Link to post Share on other sites
Author Sassygirl2 Posted June 29, 2011 Author Share Posted June 29, 2011 Thanks D. I appreciate the support. Yeah I know absolute NC is what I need to do from now on. I deleted his numbers and email. It's just sad. You would think two adults could at least break up amicably. I just feel a need to save my reputation with his family about the dog. They all think I did something wrong because he lied to them. Would it be wrong to send a letter to his mom and sister and explain my side of the story? Link to post Share on other sites
wilsonx Posted June 29, 2011 Share Posted June 29, 2011 leave it alone, its not your family so it doesn't matter what they think. My ex was cheating on me, i only wonder what she told her friends why we broke up. it really does not matter at this point, just leave it alone and start moving forward Link to post Share on other sites
Author Sassygirl2 Posted June 29, 2011 Author Share Posted June 29, 2011 His family really loved me and we were all very close. I guess that's why this is difficult. It's possible that I will run into them at some point since we have kids that go to the same schools. I just don't want his kids thinking I just cruelly gave our dog away because that's what their Dad told them. Ya know? That's why I thought if I told his Mom or sister the truth then at least they could let the kids know the truth someday. Link to post Share on other sites
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