Feel like im back on day one

[Maxish]

I saw my ex of 5 years with another guy. The new guy that she left me for and cheated on me with. It just cut me down i feel like the day she left me

its been 5 months since the break up and i was starting too feel good getting my life back on track. I just feel worthless right now and so alone.

 

We had such a happy relationship i never did nothing too hurt her i cared for her i put so much effort into us and then one day she didn't come home switched her phone off and said she was at friends house. I could feel it in my gut that night. In the months before that i could feel her slipping away she didn't call as much didn't want too kiss me and we hardly had sex she just wasn't the girl Ive been with for the last 5 years. I tried so hard too show her how much she ment too me.

 

The day She broke up with me she said didnt feel the same and dosent love me in that way but still dose and she has too find herself alone and started blaming me about how she is only working so that we can move into together and wants too study but she couldn't do that with me? i always supported her but she wanted too stay friends and that she cares about me and loves me.

 

Ive been nc on and off she calls from blocked numbers cause. She calls about every 2-3 weeks asking how i am and she sounds up set like shes been crying. We talk casually for a few mins then i tell her i have too go.

 

I just can't cope anymore i still love her so much.

 

What are your thoughts would be much appreciated. btw 24 shes 23 if that helps

Edited June 29, 2011 by Maxish

[smudge21]

You're still very much in contact with her and that will not help the healing process. I know how difficult it is to walk away, you still have that hope, no matter how many signals tell you it's over. I'm the same with my ex - she's engaged and I still have that same hope.

 

Until you go total no contact and stay there you can't expect to feel any better. It's not easy, you will fall occasionally, but each time you do and get back to nc, you will get stronger.

 

I can see my ex's pictures pop up via mutual friends on FB and I still long for her, but previously it would've set me back so far. It still hurts, just not as much.

 

Your only comfort is in knowing you are not alone in feeling this way and in your suffering. I'm there, so are many others. We can't fix our pain, but we can share it, and in doing so, that makes it a little easier to deal with.