Janesays Posted June 29, 2011 Posted June 29, 2011 The question is the title. If so, how did it work out? Did you stay together? Was it weird for awhile?
OhMittens Posted June 29, 2011 Posted June 29, 2011 I did and it sat in silence. She later told me she wasn't ready for it yet and then days later she said it. I said it back to her not knowing if she said it or not or if I misheard her. We were together for 4.5 years
TigerCub Posted June 29, 2011 Posted June 29, 2011 Back in round 1 with my boyfriend. He told me that he loved me 1 month into the R. I had never been in love before and I didn't know if I loved him. I told him that since I've never been in love before, I wasn't sure I was there yet, and I didn't want to say it without meaning it because then anytime I said it after (even if I felt it) would make it so meaningless and empty. I'm sure he was a little hurt, but in the long run I would imagine that it was for the best because when I did say it, he knew I meant it. We stayed together for over a year and a half after that. Then we broke up. now 5 years later - round 2 baby!! so did you say it to someone and they didn't say it back?
Lemontang Posted June 29, 2011 Posted June 29, 2011 I've been on the receiving end and not said it back for the simple reason I wasn't in the same place at the time. Granted I also don't throw the word around loosely so when I did finally say it not only was I sure about it at the time but I also made sure the moment was memorable. But then again so did she when she told me
tigressA Posted June 29, 2011 Posted June 29, 2011 In all 3 of my past relationships where those words were exchanged, I was the first person to say it, and the guy did not say it back. He said it later, but things were weird and of course didn't work out in the end. It was clear that my feelings had been stronger than theirs and it made them uncomfortable. In my current relationship, he said it first, and I said it back to him. I have to admit that felt SO ******* GOOD.
carhill Posted June 29, 2011 Posted June 29, 2011 Sure; I'm alone so that explains the results. Another supporting anecdote for the 'care less' theory. The good news is it didn't and doesn't bother me. Love is about giving more than receiving. Hopefully, even if not reciprocated, the gift was well-received and beneficial. Life goes on.
Author Janesays Posted July 1, 2011 Author Posted July 1, 2011 Nah, my reasoning behind asking the question is I want to say it, but my intent behind saying it is to make the person feel good. I don't want to have good intentions and accidentally cause pressure to say it back instead.
Feelin Frisky Posted July 1, 2011 Posted July 1, 2011 Not me. I wouldn't say it unless I were ready to phrase it as "I'm in love with you". And I have never reached that plateau unfortunately. I have said ILY and I meant it but that was after treasuring having her for a while and thinking of how I cared for her on so many other levels. But it wasn't that "in love" feeling.
anne1707 Posted July 1, 2011 Posted July 1, 2011 I had been dating someone for a while when I said it. He did not reciprocate and it did hurt but I also realised that why should he and I both be at that stage exactly at the same time. Did it work out? Well a few weeks later he told me he loved me and we are now very happily married and have been together 17 years
oaks Posted July 1, 2011 Posted July 1, 2011 Many years ago, I said it first and the reply was "but you said you wouldn't". It was actually funny.
Afishwithabike Posted July 1, 2011 Posted July 1, 2011 I've been on the receiving end of it. Both times it made me feel uncomfortable. The first time, I liked the person, but I wasn't emotionally at the same place at all. I avoided him afterwards and it was very short relationship. It was immature of me, but in my defense, I was about 19 or 20. The second time it happened, I still saw him after the declaration and we remained good friends for a long time until I broke things off. I've only said ILY twice to a guy. When I say it, I mean it. First time to my boyfriend in high school and next to my then boyfriend who is now my husband.
fitgirl Posted July 1, 2011 Posted July 1, 2011 my boyfriend said it and i didnt say it back. i teased him for hours and then said it before we had hot sex all weekend
LSChic Posted July 2, 2011 Posted July 2, 2011 My first boyfriend said it first and I followed right after. We were both desperately in love, it was a given. We were together for 5 years and broke up just because we were growing apart. I said it first to my second boyfriend and he wasn't ready to say it back. He did however, hug me while telling me how much it meant to him that I felt that way. It wasn't awkward in the intervening time before he said it back because we didn't make it awkward. Eventually, he did say it back. We were together 4 years and we broke up because I got very sick and he wasn't ready to give up his life to take care of me for the rest of mine. We're still extremely close friends and we still tell each other that we love each other from time to time. So, yeah, it doesn't have to be awkward if you don't make it awkward. Treat it like you're giving the other person a precious gift and don't expect anything in return because that's really how it should be.
OneLovesickPuppy Posted July 3, 2011 Posted July 3, 2011 I said it once and his reply was "You don't know me well enough to love me." lol So, you can imagine that didn't feel good. We are still together, a month later, so we'll see...
LittleTiger Posted July 3, 2011 Posted July 3, 2011 Why do people say ILY and expect an ILY back? Just say ILY if you feel it. Have no expectations, be sincere, play no games. ^ This. I was dating a guy once who said 'I love you' and I didn't love him - I'm very sure he knew I didn't, but he said it anyway and I admired him for it. I said 'thank you for telling me, I'm very fond of you too'. We broke up very soon afterwards because I wasn't feeling it and I didn't want to hurt him. If you feel it, say it. It's honest and sincere and nobody is left guessing.
heartshaped Posted July 3, 2011 Posted July 3, 2011 In this relationship, I told him I loved him first and he didn't say it back. It wasn't awkward or anything because I wasn't expecting him to say it back. It was a while before he actually did say it back. I said it maybe two-three months into our relationship? He said it maybe a month after that. I already knew he did though you could see it in his actions, but I also knew he'd say it when he was ready. All of this was two years ago and we're still together.
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