conehead Posted June 29, 2011 Share Posted June 29, 2011 Dating guy for a month, not exclusive yet, but in person things are amazing. Last nite I texted him good nite, sweet dreams at 10p and he never replied. He normally goes to sleep at midnight or later. This morning, still no reply. I guess he's not as into me as I thought. I hate this Link to post Share on other sites
CasualNinja Posted June 29, 2011 Share Posted June 29, 2011 Just relax, and give him time. If he doesn't respond back at all today, then u might have reason to worry a little Link to post Share on other sites
Author conehead Posted June 29, 2011 Author Share Posted June 29, 2011 Thing is, I don't know if my text is one that needs a reply? Here is the scenario: Yesterday morning I text him morning and hope he has a good day. He replied back a few hours later with a bunch of kissy emoticons and nothing else. I did not reply back because I didn't think it warranted one. Many hours later that night I replied with a good nite and a kissy emoticon. Is it possible that he thinks my goodnite text with a kissy emoticon is actually in reply to his earlier text? But still, I figured since my text was an entirely different subject...it was a good nite and no longer a good morning, that it should warrant a reply from him. Gosh, this hurts. Link to post Share on other sites
oaks Posted June 29, 2011 Share Posted June 29, 2011 Dating guy for a month, not exclusive yet, but in person things are amazing. Last nite I texted him good nite, sweet dreams at 10p and he never replied. He normally goes to sleep at midnight or later. This morning, still no reply. I guess he's not as into me as I thought. I hate this Maybe he didn't see your text until, say, 1020pm, because he was innocently distracted from his phone by real life. Then he didn't want to text back because it would wake you up. So that's why you didn't hear last night. Today is another day, and he hasn't remembered that he "owes" you a text. So that's why you haven't heard from him today. This whole attitude of expecting and requiring instant replies to text messages is immature, and even more so if you aren't exclusive. If you want a conversation then go and see him, or call him. Link to post Share on other sites
2sunny Posted June 29, 2011 Share Posted June 29, 2011 there are some people in life that pay attention to there phone and some that don't. if he's one that does - then his non responsive nature to you could mean many thing: he's busy he's not super into you he's dating other gals he's guarded that responding may instill more texts while he's with another gal he's not the type to be emotionally open and available he's a non communicator since he's not initiating it - it may appear to him that you are now doing the chasing... in that case - he now holds the power since you keep reaching out and he's not taking the bait. any interested guy would be hot on your tail and responding right away. usually most guys would be opening up that communication line and prompting you to respond many times... he looks like he probably has other gals he's interested in. i hope you haven't had sex with him... have you? IF you have - then stop that part. Link to post Share on other sites
I have no title Posted June 29, 2011 Share Posted June 29, 2011 ..he just didn't text you once, it doesnt mean anything at all! guys are not like girls, they dont need to check up on us every 5 minutes and wish us goodnight, good morning and good afternoon every day :)He just saw your sms and he thought "hmm, thats sweet of her", put the phone on the table and fell asleep...and you're stressing out like as if you saw him with another girl or something...Take it easy, cause stressing out cause of minor things like this will not have good consequences at all, beleive me. goodluck! Link to post Share on other sites
BetheButterfly Posted June 29, 2011 Share Posted June 29, 2011 Dating guy for a month, not exclusive yet, but in person things are amazing. Last nite I texted him good nite, sweet dreams at 10p and he never replied. He normally goes to sleep at midnight or later. This morning, still no reply. I guess he's not as into me as I thought. I hate this Texting is one of the lower forms of communication. In texting, so many things can go "wrong". The best way to communicate is by phone, so you can hear their voice (there is so much in a voice alone that communicates way more than a text) Tone, attitude, the ability to talk naturally, makes talking on the phone better than texting. Talking face to face is the best. I would suggest not texting him anymore. If he is interested, he will text you. If/when he does, I suggest you ask him to call you. Men and women have an interesting time communicating anyways, and texting often just makes it harder, because it's harder to see the heart of a person in a text. Link to post Share on other sites
vsmini Posted June 29, 2011 Share Posted June 29, 2011 This is why I hate texting. You send out a text and get upset if it's not returned. I think it's wrong to view texting as serious communication. Try not to text and try not to put too much value on if you get a text back or not. Forget not texting you...if he's not calling you or making plans with you -that's how you tell if a guy is not interested. Link to post Share on other sites
I have no title Posted June 29, 2011 Share Posted June 29, 2011 there are some people in life that pay attention to there phone and some that don't. if he's one that does - then his non responsive nature to you could mean many thing: he's busy he's not super into you he's dating other gals he's guarded that responding may instill more texts while he's with another gal he's not the type to be emotionally open and available he's a non communicator since he's not initiating it - it may appear to him that you are now doing the chasing... in that case - he now holds the power since you keep reaching out and he's not taking the bait. any interested guy would be hot on your tail and responding right away. usually most guys would be opening up that communication line and prompting you to respond many times... he looks like he probably has other gals he's interested in. i hope you haven't had sex with him... have you? IF you have - then stop that part. oh come oon....he can be super into her and not reply just because he was tired, he didn't see it until the morning or he just didnt want to reply..it DOESNT mean anything at all...some guys are less talkative and show their emotions less and do not reply to every single text....its completely normal and it doesnt say ANYTHING about the intensity of their feelings!. Link to post Share on other sites
CasualNinja Posted June 29, 2011 Share Posted June 29, 2011 I agree when it comes to texting though. I hate it with a passion. There is so much misunderstanding with it, and talking on the phone distinguishes the difference in their tone when it comes to certain topics. Maybe try calling him later tonight, just to talk for a while Link to post Share on other sites
LexiB Posted June 29, 2011 Share Posted June 29, 2011 Just send him a follow up message today - one that does require a response. If he ignores that as well, then you'll have your answer. Also curious: how long had it been since you'd spoken to or seen him before then? Was that your first communication in a while? Link to post Share on other sites
Author conehead Posted June 29, 2011 Author Share Posted June 29, 2011 Thing is, he normally replies back within reasonable amount of time. If I text him while at work I don't usually get a reply until few hours later cuz he's working so I understand. This is really the first time where I'm genuinely truly worried and not just anxious, like bad gut feeling kind. This is because he is normally free after 10pm. Thing is, I had told him on Saturday during the date that it will be great if we talked more during the week since we only see each other on weekends and he agreed. I told him I like hearing from him and he said he likes hearing from me too. He initiatiated a text on Sunday. He initiated another text on Monday. Yesterday was Tuesday -- my first time initiaitng texts since our date. I guess I'm fretting here cuz I think this guy may be dumping me. I don't think he really enjoys talking to me and just sent those texts on Sun and Mon kind of as pity texts. He also doesn't want to see me on weekdays -- only on weekends because we live 1 hour away (with traffic, might take 1.5 hours to drive though I suppose). One thing is that on Sat he asked me my thoughts on sex. I said Im one who needs to wait a few months until the RS is serious first before doing that...and he said he doesnt mind waiting. Probably in his mind though he does mind. He is a 33 year old virgin by the way. So part of me thinks he's just super desparate to have sex and prob has no patience for me. And the more he is pulling this non texting/talking with me and doesnt want to see me that much, the more I'm putting off the sex here. Frustrating. Link to post Share on other sites
oaks Posted June 29, 2011 Share Posted June 29, 2011 And the more he is pulling this non texting/talking with me and doesnt want to see me that much, the more I'm putting off the sex here. Frustrating. "The more"?? I thought you were just explaining that he replies straight away, so this is the first time that he hasn't replied in a timely manner. And I'm not even going to get in to your suggested punishment for his lack of compliance. Link to post Share on other sites
Author conehead Posted June 29, 2011 Author Share Posted June 29, 2011 "The more"?? I thought you were just explaining that he replies straight away, so this is the first time that he hasn't replied in a timely manner. And I'm not even going to get in to your suggested punishment for his lack of compliance. He rarely replies straight away, normally takes a couple hours but thats still reasonable. But no reply last night nor this morning because he 'forgot'....i dunno, he may still like me, but not that much Im guessing. I have this feeling i wont hear from him again. Link to post Share on other sites
oaks Posted June 29, 2011 Share Posted June 29, 2011 Well you aren't exclusive. Go and date someone else. Link to post Share on other sites
Author conehead Posted June 29, 2011 Author Share Posted June 29, 2011 Well you aren't exclusive. Go and date someone else. I can only get myself to date one person at a time. I wont be able to date another person until I get a clear answer or clean break on this one. Link to post Share on other sites
oaks Posted June 29, 2011 Share Posted June 29, 2011 Then go out with your friends or do something to keep you busy. Maybe he'll call, or you can call him. Link to post Share on other sites
I have no title Posted June 29, 2011 Share Posted June 29, 2011 Thing is, he normally replies back within reasonable amount of time. If I text him while at work I don't usually get a reply until few hours later cuz he's working so I understand. This is really the first time where I'm genuinely truly worried and not just anxious, like bad gut feeling kind. This is because he is normally free after 10pm. Thing is, I had told him on Saturday during the date that it will be great if we talked more during the week since we only see each other on weekends and he agreed. I told him I like hearing from him and he said he likes hearing from me too. He initiatiated a text on Sunday. He initiated another text on Monday. Yesterday was Tuesday -- my first time initiaitng texts since our date. I guess I'm fretting here cuz I think this guy may be dumping me. I don't think he really enjoys talking to me and just sent those texts on Sun and Mon kind of as pity texts. He also doesn't want to see me on weekdays -- only on weekends because we live 1 hour away (with traffic, might take 1.5 hours to drive though I suppose). One thing is that on Sat he asked me my thoughts on sex. I said Im one who needs to wait a few months until the RS is serious first before doing that...and he said he doesnt mind waiting. Probably in his mind though he does mind. He is a 33 year old virgin by the way. So part of me thinks he's just super desparate to have sex and prob has no patience for me. And the more he is pulling this non texting/talking with me and doesnt want to see me that much, the more I'm putting off the sex here. Frustrating. Damn you're obsessed....how old are you? Link to post Share on other sites
Author conehead Posted June 29, 2011 Author Share Posted June 29, 2011 Damn you're obsessed....how old are you? Im 26, hes 33. He's a virigin, I am not and he knows it. We found that out about each other over the weekend Link to post Share on other sites
2sunny Posted June 29, 2011 Share Posted June 29, 2011 you are contradicting yourself. he texts - he doesn't text. IF you want to know exactly how he feels - pick up the phone and call him - ask him. if it's not working for you - then start dating someone else! you said you're NOT exclusive... so start dating others - especially during the week. just because you haven't done dating this way before - doesn't mean you can't start doing it this way now. since the old way hasn't gotten you the results you've wanted - it really IS time to start doing things differently than before. he hasn't asked you to be exclusive - so start getting out more! stay busy, take a class, get hobbies, work out more. Link to post Share on other sites
Feelsgoodman Posted June 29, 2011 Share Posted June 29, 2011 Thing is, I don't know if my text is one that needs a reply? Here is the scenario: Yesterday morning I text him morning and hope he has a good day. He replied back a few hours later with a bunch of kissy emoticons and nothing else. I did not reply back because I didn't think it warranted one. Many hours later that night I replied with a good nite and a kissy emoticon. Is it possible that he thinks my goodnite text with a kissy emoticon is actually in reply to his earlier text? But still, I figured since my text was an entirely different subject...it was a good nite and no longer a good morning, that it should warrant a reply from him. Gosh, this hurts. Texting each other good morning and good night, "kissy emoticons"...this all sounds very childish to be perfectly honest. Having said that, you worry way too much. Maybe he didn't even see your text last night and responding to a good night text the following is kinda pointless, so he figured it wasn't necessary. My advice would be to cut down on the texting in general...less chance of a misunderstanding that way. Link to post Share on other sites
I have no title Posted June 29, 2011 Share Posted June 29, 2011 Texting each other good morning and good night, "kissy emoticons"...this all sounds very childish to be perfectly honest. Having said that, you worry way too much. Maybe he didn't even see your text last night and responding to a good night text the following is kinda pointless, so he figured it wasn't necessary. My advice would be to cut down on the texting in general...less chance of a misunderstanding that way. I think you have a really good point there...texting with emoticons and stuff like that is high-school behavior, and you both are mature people, and I find it weird to obsess about such a minor thing in your late 20s...Im 18 and I dont behave like this...In this age people marry, share a house, raise kids and have a million other way more important concerns, and you guys just obsess about some texts...In this age you should be opened to speak to each other in person and discuss everything like mature people do.. Link to post Share on other sites
Author conehead Posted June 29, 2011 Author Share Posted June 29, 2011 I think you have a really good point there...texting with emoticons and stuff like that is high-school behavior, and you both are mature people, and I find it weird to obsess about such a minor thing in your late 20s...Im 18 and I dont behave like this...In this age people marry, share a house, raise kids and have a million other way more important concerns, and you guys just obsess about some texts...In this age you should be opened to speak to each other in person and discuss everything like mature people do.. I dont normally obsess this much over txt, but I guess this is just on top of other things that are going wrong with this guy. Him not really like talking during week, only wanting to see me during weekends....this whole situation where he did not reply to my txt just kinda put it over the edge. With my exes, I never had to obsess....I guess this may mean this guy just isnt for me? Dunno, guess see if he calls/texts me today. Link to post Share on other sites
Author conehead Posted June 30, 2011 Author Share Posted June 30, 2011 Update!! Ok I asked him to chat on the phone later tonight so I have 2 hours to decide...should I or should I not ask if he received my good nite text last night??? Honestly it really bothered me that he did not reply. Should I bring it up??? Link to post Share on other sites
2sunny Posted June 30, 2011 Share Posted June 30, 2011 no! you want to encourage conversations to get more connected! to have fun! no need to make him think that when he calls you - you are just going to complain about what he didn't do right for you. keep it light - keep it fun! maybe ask him what he's been doing since you saw him last and see if he mentions what he did last night... Link to post Share on other sites
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