Will you wait few months for sex for a girl?

[musemaj11]

A good man is a good man regardless how long u make him wait for sex.

 

You can make a guy wait 1 year n he will still leave if he only wants sex.

[Richard Friedman]

Guys who wait months on end for sex should just know this. The princess who "not the kind of girl" t has at some point ****ed a within days of meeting him, if not hours. It's a simple matter of attraction. In the 21st century people who really dig each other don't wait months to have sex.The passion is there or it's not and it can't be negotiated. Ladies, if you don't find him hot enough to jump into bed after a few dates, you're not gonna suddenly feel that just because you find he's a nice guy. And guys, if you have to wait months for sex, it's not coming from a place of real attraction. She's sleeping with you because you are stable, nice provider, etc. When women are picking guys who they have no urge to sleep with for ltrs out of some deluded logic, it's no wonder we hear so many "waaah my wife wont sleeeep with meeee" stories.

[rafallus]

I've only put on the brakes once, but not to say that! Discuss birth control, yes. It wasn't something I was expecting to get hot and heavy and didn't have a condom. She seemed a little disappointed, but it was all sorted out by the next day.

That's very different. In fact I had done this myself, when I didn't have condoms in my pocket. Sucks, but this happens.

 

What I was talking about is situation when:

a)Logistics are right - proper place available, nobody will disturb

b)Birth control is handled

c)Both are turned on like crazy

 

And yet, still sex is rejected on principle.

 

Not meeting a) and b) are valid reasons not to have sex in the moment, but by at most several meetings they should be handled anyway.

 

The princess who "not the kind of girl" t has at some point ****ed a within days of meeting him, if not hours. It's a simple matter of attraction.

Indeed - my c) point.

[P&R]

I've waited 8 months all though im partially responsible. We're both virgins and we both are a little confused.

[delilah123]

EXACTLY!!!

 

Ive never had to wait a MONTH for sex, let alone have to wait a few months. But I dont deal with virgins either.

But I dont push women for sex, I just tease them alot, and I wind up getting jumped. When I frame it like I dont need it, which strangely I dont, it makes them more curious.

 

But sex is part of the personality, and I cant get attached to a woman until I know if were sexually compatible. I gotta find out how much compromise has to be done sexually. if shes not willing to compromise for me like I am for her, its a dealbreaker. Just the same of smoking, clingyness, drama queen-ness, friendliness, and other bad behavior traits in general.

 

I sure as hell wouldnt wait months to find out about other personality traits. If im into her, and shes too guarded to realize that she can trust me, buh-bye! Too many fish in the sea that dont need inner work.

 

see i think it depends on the background of the person... when I started dating my ex we'd been friends for so many years that waiting for sex wasn't really an issue, we had loved eachother for a year before we got together anyway.

 

but if i just met a guy, i wouldn't sleep with him that same night, and tbh, i'd think it was pretty clingy if we had a date every single week for the first month of getting to know eachother... so what I don't think that after having 6 or so 'dates' with a guy and not knowing if i trust him yet actually makes me guarded... i mean, I'm simply not a particularly guarded person.. the assumptions your making aren't accurate in relation to myself and it makes me feel like you have possibly missed out on girls who would've been great matches because you werent willing to let them hang out with you in person for more than 12 -15 hours in total before they had sex with you.

 

again on top of all this maybe its just the area and the people you know. in my area, if a girl sleeps with any guy she has a few dates with, it's not cool. and the 'dates' are just count downs to getting laid, and after the sex it just is sex. so i guess you gotta factor that in too.

 

and yes - someone else mentioned foreplay.. i mean bjs etc can be a nice indicator. sex is better when you know someone better. sex gets better in all the relationships i've ever had.

[Eternal Sunshine]

My boyfriend waited almost two months. I wanted to wait and he never pressured me. Then one night I took him completely by surprise and seduced him and yes, sex got better and better the longer we are together.

[carhill]

Yes or no?

Yes, and always have, though I never considered it 'waiting'. Rather, it was a natural progression of intimacy. Generally, it's been two-three months of weekly (or more often) dates/get togethers.

 

ETA, having read the entire thread, I should qualify the data point as pertaining to 'relationships' versus 'dating'. I don't have sexual relations while dating, in line with my preference of confining it only to relationships, hopefully long term ones. So, I could understand how those who choose to make sex part of dating in circumstances where a LTR isn't desired would not wish to wait for months. For all preferences, there is a compatible person out there.

Edited June 30, 2011 by carhill

[Andy_K]

tbh, i'd think it was pretty clingy if we had a date every single week for the first month of getting to know eachother

 

Really? I'd kind of wonder what the point is if you're seeing someone less than once a week. I'd see that as someone who either doesn't really have time to be dating, or doesn't have the interest to spend much time with me. Unless it's a long distance thing, which I wouldn't be interested in anyway.

 

Once or twice a week is pretty normal I think.

[Saxis]

That's very different. In fact I had done this myself, when I didn't have condoms in my pocket. Sucks, but this happens.

 

What I was talking about is situation when:

a)Logistics are right - proper place available, nobody will disturb

b)Birth control is handled

c)Both are turned on like crazy

 

And yet, still sex is rejected on principle.

 

Not meeting a) and b) are valid reasons not to have sex in the moment, but by at most several meetings they should be handled anyway.

 

Guess I've never withheld or been rejected. Like carhill, I've always pretty much had a natural progression into it, which has usually taken 1-2 months of dating, exclusivity and always ended in a LTR.

 

I have no problems with that. I probably would if she was just withholding on principle.

[Untouchable_Fire]

See I wonder about guys with attitudes like this - what IS your attitude about sex and why would it affect us past the first 2 months of waiting?

I'm very sexually open, happy to try new things, like to have sex often and am very generous, once I'm in a committed relationship. I do think sex is important and I do think that it is nice to have an element of trust before you have sex. So I'd want to wait at least a month - 2 months before having sex.

I can't see how this could not be compatible with someone who actually liked me and wanted a relationship with me?

It seems the only guys who wouldn't hang around would be guys who wouldn't have hung around for 2 months with the sex either. (as in they would probably only be after a 1 night stand or an unexclusive **** buddy type arrangement).

Considering the question asked - would you wait 2 months.. i can only assume that the OP is referring to 2 people in a relationship (otherwise obviously the answer must be a no.. who would wait 2 months to have sex with a sex buddy).

So I'm confused, please let me know how your attitude differs to mine about sex in a way that would affect us past you being horny for 2 months?

(for the record I have never had a problem with guys not wanting to wait, so I am curious).

 

I have waited 2 months and longer... just depending on the situation. As a guy I feel like I mostly drive this process.

 

I see sex as a very important part of a relationship, and I wouldn't want to wait two months before finding out if we're compatible for the same reasons I wouldn't want to wait two months before finding out your age, or whether you have kids, if you're deeply religious, or any of those things. They could all make or break a relationship.

If I date someone who doesn't want to rip my clothes off in the first few weeks of dating, there is a very good chance she either doesn't fancy me enough, doesn't have a high enough sex drive, or has some sort of trust issues... or at least a very different attitude to trust. We just wouldn't be on the same wavelength.

 

Sexual compatibility has more to do with attitude and attraction than anything else. You don't need to have sex to see how that is going. I'm not saying you are wrong though. Sex is a great indicator... of course she can be having sex with 5 or 10 different guys a week and still pass this test for you.

 

Physical compatibility is really simple. If we both pull out dicks.... not compatibile. If there are functional female parts with no males ones in sight... all systems are go.

[grkBoy]

Yes or no?

 

Yes I would.

[utterer of lies]

Yes or no?

 

Of course not. Controlling mind games are uncool.

[delilah123]

Really? I'd kind of wonder what the point is if you're seeing someone less than once a week. I'd see that as someone who either doesn't really have time to be dating, or doesn't have the interest to spend much time with me. Unless it's a long distance thing, which I wouldn't be interested in anyway.

 

Once or twice a week is pretty normal I think.

 

Each to their own.

 

Once I'm in a relationshpi or seeing someone regularly i'd see them 4-5 times a week.

 

I am referring to when you are just 'dating' someone as in you've met them once or twice before. Not a long time friend turn dating.

[musemaj11]

Im a fair person.

 

Im considerate toward someone as much as how considerate that person is toward me.

 

If a girl doesnt expect me to always be the one asking her out, paying for her, and driving her around, then I wont expect anything from her either. I respect people who respect me.

[PinkInTheLimo]

You cannot really put a timeframe on this. Things have to evolve naturally. When I was younger, I fell in love more easily and thus had sex more quickly. This taught me that not everyone takes sex and relationships as serious as me. I was always in love when I had sex but noticed that that was not always the case with the guys.

With getting older, it takes a lot more than a guy who looks deeply in my eyes to fall in love so also a lot more for me to want to have sex with a guy. That's why I prefer to wait longer. Even more since my last 2 boyfriends turned out to be pathological liars.

 

But you have to let things come naturally. If I feel like having sex after having known a guy for 3 weeks, then I will give in to it. If I only feel like that after 3 months, it will only be then.

But it will always be after having had a talk about contraception and a test for STDs.

[phineas]

Of course not. Controlling mind games are uncool.

 

This. EVERY TIME I "took it slow" with a woman it did not end well.

 

Once I switched it up to:

 

Until I am in a relationship I consider myself single. free to do what I want, when I want & with who I want.

I do not answer to anyone.

Sex only guarantees I won't sleep with anyone else & gives her a chance to prove to me she is relationship worthy.

 

Basically after the 3rd or 4th date if they want more of my time there is going to have to be sex.

Period.

 

Otherwise, I got better things to do.

 

My quality of life has drastically improved since I made those changes. (no frustrations)

I get more stuff done because i'm not wasting my time on women that just want my attention.

Edited July 1, 2011 by phineas

[Els]

The men in this thread might say no, but all the guys I've been with have waited, yes, usually a couple months or so. It takes that long to build the intimacy and trust required to have it, IMO, especially if you only go on dates a couple times a week, as is normal for that stage of the relationship. Also, it usually takes that long to establish an official relationship, if you are the slow and cautious type. And I don't do sex out of relationships. Guys have all been fine with that.

 

So, take the answers here with a grain of salt, methinks.

 

And psh at the 'if they don't want to have sex fast, they're usually sexually inhibited' comment. IMO the very men who insist on sex by the third date or any such nonsense are usually close-minded, selfish lovers who've never given thought beyond their own orgasm and the few tricks they learnt that they believe should be usable for the pleasure of all women. Since their very attitude towards women as dispensable objects ("she doesn't put out by 3rd date? Gone!") prevents them from viewing women as unique individuals with different sexual needs and wants.

Edited July 1, 2011 by Elswyth

[Els]

Yes, and always have, though I never considered it 'waiting'. Rather, it was a natural progression of intimacy. Generally, it's been two-three months of weekly (or more often) dates/get togethers.

 

ETA, having read the entire thread, I should qualify the data point as pertaining to 'relationships' versus 'dating'. I don't have sexual relations while dating, in line with my preference of confining it only to relationships, hopefully long term ones. So, I could understand how those who choose to make sex part of dating in circumstances where a LTR isn't desired would not wish to wait for months. For all preferences, there is a compatible person out there.

 

Lovely post. Sounds like my timeline, pretty much.

[somedude81]

The men in this thread might say no, but all the guys I've been with have waited, yes, usually a couple months or so. It takes that long to build the intimacy and trust required to have it, IMO, especially if you only go on dates a couple times a week, as is normal for that stage of the relationship. Also, it usually takes that long to establish an official relationship, if you are the slow and cautious type. And I don't do sex out of relationships. Guys have all been fine with that.

 

So, take the answers here with a grain of salt, methinks.

 

And psh at the 'if they don't want to have sex fast, they're usually sexually inhibited' comment. IMO the very men who insist on sex by the third date or any such nonsense are usually close-minded, selfish lovers who've never given thought beyond their own orgasm and the few tricks they learnt that they believe should be usable for the pleasure of all women. Since their very attitude towards women as dispensable objects ("she doesn't put out by 3rd date? Gone!") prevents them from viewing women as unique individuals with different sexual needs and wants.

That's exactly how I feel.

 

I'm in no rush at all to have sex. All I want to know is that sex is possible, then I'll be happy waiting.

 

I just don't know what modern women expect. As in how quickly the guy should push for sex. I once had a couple of dates with a girl (not the one I always talk about) and people told me that she thought I was a pussy for not trying to kiss her or more by the second date.

 

I also agree with you about building intimacy and trust over time. Also, even though I've never had sex in a relationship, I know I'd be a completely giving lover. Now if only she would let me touch her.

 

 

BTW, Elswyth, why haven't you posted in my thread yet?

[oaks]

The men in this thread might say no,

 

I didn't say no.

 

but all the guys I've been with have waited, yes, usually a couple months or so. It takes that long to build the intimacy and trust required to have it, IMO, especially if you only go on dates a couple times a week, as is normal for that stage of the relationship. Also, it usually takes that long to establish an official relationship, if you are the slow and cautious type. And I don't do sex out of relationships. Guys have all been fine with that.

 

Maybe you're cute enough to wait for and I agree with those other things, too.

[fitgirl]

my boyfriend and i were going to wait 3 months but we couldnt help it after a month

[rafallus]

but all the guys I've been with have waited, yes, usually a couple months or so. It takes that long to build the intimacy and trust required to have it, IMO, especially if you only go on dates a couple times a week, as is normal for that stage of the relationship. Also, it usually takes that long to establish an official relationship, if you are the slow and cautious type. And I don't do sex out of relationships. Guys have all been fine with that.

If someone bailed on you because of that, it isn't because he's shallow, it's because of sexual incompatibility. Think of it as of screening - you see shallowness (hey, if it makes you feel good, keep telling yourself that!), I see low sex drive to the point relationship could never work - imagine frustration several months down the road.

[RedRussian8080]

my boyfriend and i were going to wait 3 months but we couldnt help it after a month

I wonder who's idea was to wait 3 months and who broke her weak moral rules....

[fitgirl]

somebody. is there a way to hide people's posts. im using the alert us button to try and get some posts taken off but it would be easier to hide all posts from the mysogynists.

[RedRussian8080]

She means crazy feminists with extreme agenda of male domination with physical violence.

 

She has a chubby boyfriend as well...