Emme Posted July 2, 2011 Share Posted July 2, 2011 I really am starting to wonder if the only way out is to bite the bullet & throw him under the bus & come clean to his W. Why would you throw him under the bus. If you don't have an invested interest in him, let go completely. To want to destroy him means you are still invested in this man. If you get to a stage where you can't let go without bringing harm, you become to toxic. No amount of rage is going to make you feel better. You have to find that inner piece on your own. You have to be strong willed to let sleeping dogs lie. No drama! You don't want it and you don't need it. We all have dirt, we all could tell tales. In the end what will it accomplish. Don't loose anymore of yourself to him. That's what happens when you can't let go. You can think you've won but really you've lost because you can't let go. Let go. Link to post Share on other sites
Silly_Girl Posted July 2, 2011 Share Posted July 2, 2011 Tell me more about this "stark" reality the married man is supposed to see in his marriage without the OW. What an interesting choice of words and with the clear leaning to the M being on the losing end. An affair can provide escapism. An affair can be a distraction. It seems - in the short term - an affair can improve day to day relations between spouses. Better than the married person sees that, lives the life without this shelter, and either sees what they've been doing is wrong in that it's jeopardising something they value (perhaps forgotten they value) or they realise the marriage has no future and they were just procrastinating by drawing out the affair situation. Either way there's a tough thought process to be had, followed by positive action, preferably. Link to post Share on other sites
pureinheart Posted July 2, 2011 Share Posted July 2, 2011 Crazy, you sound unhappy. If the R is no good for you, leave it. The "only way out" does not have to involve busting him to the BW. You can simply leave, and leave him (and her) to their own devices. Your fate is not bound up with his, or theirs. Your fate is your own to decide. Best answer. Link to post Share on other sites
cheergirl Posted July 2, 2011 Share Posted July 2, 2011 Crazy, you sound unhappy. If the R is no good for you, leave it. The "only way out" does not have to involve busting him to the BW. You can simply leave, and leave him (and her) to their own devices. Your fate is not bound up with his, or theirs. Your fate is your own to decide. Totally agree... You can't force anyone to do anything, you can just walk away. Sorry for your pain... Link to post Share on other sites
Recommended Posts