love is dangerous Posted June 29, 2011 Share Posted June 29, 2011 on dates or say your going to a hotel , your views. i think they should to show their appreciation of the girl , at least for the first 6 months or so Link to post Share on other sites
Cee Posted June 29, 2011 Share Posted June 29, 2011 No, I have never let a guy pay for me beyond the first few dates. Usually I split costs down the middle, depending on our ability to pay. I'm for give and take with money depending on people's cash flow. Travel expenses are always 50/50. I think economic equality in dating creates a healthy respect for money. If I can't afford to go to a certain restaurant for dinner alone, then I shouldn't go there on a date. Link to post Share on other sites
denise_xo Posted June 29, 2011 Share Posted June 29, 2011 Where I live, the norm is to go dutch. I like it that way. It signals equality and takes money out of the dating equation. Link to post Share on other sites
Saxis Posted June 29, 2011 Share Posted June 29, 2011 Yeah... I don't mind paying the first one or two dates, but she'll get huge bonus points for at least offering. If she doesn't offer after date 3, she'll never see light of date 4+, let alone 6 months... Link to post Share on other sites
oaks Posted June 29, 2011 Share Posted June 29, 2011 i think they should to show their appreciation of the girl , at least for the first 6 months or so Hahaha! Funny girl. Link to post Share on other sites
Rinas Posted June 29, 2011 Share Posted June 29, 2011 It's unfair to expect the man to pay. Just because we are pretty, it doesn't mean that the male has to pay for our dinner. I always go dutch. Link to post Share on other sites
denise_xo Posted June 29, 2011 Share Posted June 29, 2011 It's unfair to expect the man to pay. Just because we are pretty, it doesn't mean that the male has to pay for our dinner. Brilliant Link to post Share on other sites
vsmini Posted June 29, 2011 Share Posted June 29, 2011 on dates or say your going to a hotel , your views. i think they should to show their appreciation of the girl , at least for the first 6 months or so First off - 6 months? That's a long time and a lot of money to be putting down. Try the first few dates - maybe - if that's OK by him and by you. Second - My guy better be showing their appreciation for me WAY past 6 months. Try for the entire duration of the relationship. The thing is - I don't consider dropping money the real way to show a woman you appreciate her. People are funny about money these days. There really is no right or wrong answer here....but I think most people would agree that a guy paying all the time is really outdated and makes the girl look like a selfish twat. Link to post Share on other sites
Jono85 Posted June 29, 2011 Share Posted June 29, 2011 i'm not staying with a girl who expects me to pay, sorry. i usually make it known very early how i am and what i expect. with that being said, getting a hotel with a girl for our 2nd time seeing eachother, this weekend (we've talked on the phone a ton however) and she's paying half . this is 2011, not saying don't be a gentleman, but if a girl expects u to pay for everything it's probably not a good sign at all. Link to post Share on other sites
vsmini Posted June 29, 2011 Share Posted June 29, 2011 I'm curious about that statement though. Why should only the man show appreciation for the woman and not vice versa? Sadly - and I'm not accusing the OP of this - but many women believe that just showing up for the dates is showing enough appreciation in itself. Many will pull the annoying and over used "I'm worth it." and think well that settles that! Not all women of course - I wouldn't even say the majority - but many. Link to post Share on other sites
Damien Posted June 29, 2011 Share Posted June 29, 2011 Sadly - and I'm not accusing the OP of this - but many women believe that just showing up for the dates is showing enough appreciation in itself. Many will pull the annoying and over used "I'm worth it." and think well that settles that! Not all women of course - I wouldn't even say the majority - but many. So true! In response to the question, well I honestly would not mind paying for the first few times. I would most likely offer to pay but if the girl was to directly ask me to pay then that'd be a red flag right there. I could've sworn men and women alike made the same sort of salary range nowadays? Link to post Share on other sites
Sanman Posted June 29, 2011 Share Posted June 29, 2011 on dates or say your going to a hotel , your views. i think they should to show their appreciation of the girl , at least for the first 6 months or so It is 2011, I believe in equality. If him paying is showing appreciation, how are you showing your appreciation? Besides, he is not showing appreciation, but rather paying the bill because you will not. If neither of you pays the bill the police will be called and you have already set the precedent that you will not pay for anything to spend time with him. That said, I will pay if you are attractive and sleep with me. Though, that is an arrangement and not a relationship. For those who believe that the one who does the inviting does the paying, please help me draw a bill for all the money friends owe me from years of inviting me out all time. Link to post Share on other sites
Saxis Posted June 29, 2011 Share Posted June 29, 2011 with that being said, getting a hotel with a girl for our 2nd time seeing eachother, this weekend (we've talked on the phone a ton however) and she's paying half . And to add another story to this... A while ago I went on a first date, expecting to pay. She offered to pay her share at dinner and I declined. Then we went bowling... When it was time to pay again, I had my card out in one hand, my drink in the other. She points and asks "What's that?". I knew what she was asking about, but I said "It's my drink. :)". Her... "Not that!"... elbows me in the ribs, pushes me out of the way and offers her card. It was hottt! That's how it's done, ladies! Link to post Share on other sites
Lilmisus Posted June 29, 2011 Share Posted June 29, 2011 Men do the asking so men pay. To one up this, I think whoever does the asking, does the paying. I think it's just rude to ask a guy if he wants to go to the movies with you and expect him to pay for it, especially without offering to pay. And that doesn't matter if it's date one or date ten..it's just courteous I think. Link to post Share on other sites
musemaj11 Posted June 29, 2011 Share Posted June 29, 2011 (edited) on dates or say your going to a hotel , your views. i think they should to show their appreciation of the girl , at least for the first 6 months or so How would you feel if a man expects you to pay for him for 6 months as a show of appreciation? Would you do it? If you would then its fair. But if you wouldnt then do unto others what you want others do unto you. Simple. Edited June 29, 2011 by musemaj11 Link to post Share on other sites
musemaj11 Posted June 29, 2011 Share Posted June 29, 2011 I always pay, however, I don't have money problems. I enjoy paying, I think it is part of the courting and I make sure not to expect anything in return. If I pay for 200 dates in a row is no big deal. I also have a hard time accepting anything for free or allowing anyone else to pick up the tab. I have been known to pay for dinner for 4-5 couples if we go out in a large group. Like I said-------------it is a pleasure to be able to pay the bill and in my experience once the ladies know how I am they love it. They feel I treat them 1st class all the way. Oh wow, I didnt know that women loved men who like to spend money on them. I just learned something new today. Link to post Share on other sites
flirtatwork Posted June 29, 2011 Share Posted June 29, 2011 The first dates I would be happy to pay for her, and after some dates or just on the second or third date she should ask to split. What are your opinions, when would you guys say yes when she asks to split the cost. If she asks on the first or second date I would decline but also want her to know I won't do that all the time. When should I say.. "okay, lets split it" Link to post Share on other sites
Lilmisus Posted June 29, 2011 Share Posted June 29, 2011 What women does that? Seriously? Like I said, it doesn't matter if it's date one or date ten, if the girl asks, she should at least offer to pay. Meaning..if you're seeing someone..say you've been on three dates so far, and you want to go to the movies for the fourth date and you tell him "Hey! I really like you, and I would like to go see this movie with you on Friday at 7, cool? Cool." Then she should at the very least offer. To ask and expect him to pay is rude and wrong. Example: I'm going on a movie date tomorrow with Mr. Cute Guy, and though he asked to go out again this week, I offered to go to the movies (he wanted to teach me to surf I'm pretty sure). Since I offered the movies..I'm offering to pay..at least for my ticket, and seeing how he feels about it. Link to post Share on other sites
Jono85 Posted June 29, 2011 Share Posted June 29, 2011 Seriously? Like I said, it doesn't matter if it's date one or date ten, if the girl asks, she should at least offer to pay. Meaning..if you're seeing someone..say you've been on three dates so far, and you want to go to the movies for the fourth date and you tell him "Hey! I really like you, and I would like to go see this movie with you on Friday at 7, cool? Cool." Then she should at the very least offer. To ask and expect him to pay is rude and wrong. Example: I'm going on a movie date tomorrow with Mr. Cute Guy, and though he asked to go out again this week, I offered to go to the movies (he wanted to teach me to surf I'm pretty sure). Since I offered the movies..I'm offering to pay..at least for my ticket, and seeing how he feels about it. :laugh: thanks for the laughs and no, maybe 5% of the time girls ask men out on dates. lets be honest. Link to post Share on other sites
Jono85 Posted June 30, 2011 Share Posted June 30, 2011 And to add another story to this... A while ago I went on a first date, expecting to pay. She offered to pay her share at dinner and I declined. Then we went bowling... When it was time to pay again, I had my card out in one hand, my drink in the other. She points and asks "What's that?". I knew what she was asking about, but I said "It's my drink. :)". Her... "Not that!"... elbows me in the ribs, pushes me out of the way and offers her card. It was hottt! That's how it's done, ladies! exactly...it's really hot! my girl also offered to split the tab on our first date dinner, and naturally i refused, but she wouldn't let up, so i finally had to let her give me a 20 (which was a little more than the tip but still shows she's interested in me and not me buying her things). so girls if ur really into a guy and want to show him u are, no better way than to offer to split the bills. Link to post Share on other sites
Lilmisus Posted June 30, 2011 Share Posted June 30, 2011 :laugh: thanks for the laughs and no, maybe 5% of the time girls ask men out on dates. lets be honest. I believe that, but I still believe girls should offer if they initiate a date. I mean..do y'all do all the asking and initiating when dating a girl, or does she ever pull any weight and see if you ever want to go out with her someplace? Plus, I paid for like 80% of my last relationship's dates. No guy should pay for all the dates, and no girl should do it either..like I said, whoever asks, should pay, or at least offer. Link to post Share on other sites
Jono85 Posted June 30, 2011 Share Posted June 30, 2011 I believe that, but I still believe girls should offer if they initiate a date. I mean..do y'all do all the asking and initiating when dating a girl, or does she ever pull any weight and see if you ever want to go out with her someplace? Plus, I paid for like 80% of my last relationship's dates. No guy should pay for all the dates, and no girl should do it either..like I said, whoever asks, should pay, or at least offer. but i find it funny u said whoever initiates the date, should pay. yet when it comes to women offering the date, u only pay for ur own movie ticket?? does that make sense? no it does not. for ur question, in my experience, usually the girl would hint at things like "i want to see you again" or "when am i going to see u again" and then i will ask them to do something etc. it obv depends on the girl. some are more open to flat out asking to do something on a certain date. and obv also depends how many dates you've been on already, as the more u go on the more comfortable she'll be to initiate ideas. Link to post Share on other sites
musemaj11 Posted June 30, 2011 Share Posted June 30, 2011 Girl: "when am I gonna see you again?" Guy: "whenever you are gonna pay for it." LOL Link to post Share on other sites
yellowhibiscus Posted June 30, 2011 Share Posted June 30, 2011 Wow...this is kind of surprising. I'm a woman and I ALWAYS offer to pay half. I don't get how women want to be seen as equals but when it comes to things like this, they think that it's okay to get by without contributing? If I couldn't pay then I probably would decline the date and spend my time looking for a job instead Link to post Share on other sites
thatone Posted June 30, 2011 Share Posted June 30, 2011 yeah you offer but how many times does someone take you up on the offer? that's along the same lines as the woman who justified that she was above women who stayed home and didn't work because she "thought about" getting a job. i pay. yes i've had women offer to pay, no i don't take them up on that offer. Link to post Share on other sites
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