Sanman Posted July 28, 2011 Share Posted July 28, 2011 Ummm, no. I'm already doing her a favor by taking time out of my busy schedule to see her. If I wanted to pay for a woman, I'd hire a professional. You bring up a good point. For all the traditional types who say they can do laundry, cook, and have great sex (which, unless it is all bjs I have to put in effort for too), I am a single guy and do those things for myself (except sex). If not I can hire professionals to do them with much greater skill and at much lower cost than the average woman. Oh, women do have children, but what if they don't have mine or we choose not to have kids? Besides, 9 mths for 18 years is a rough trade for traditional men. The things I value in a partner for are much more than that. I want someone who supports and loves me, someone who will be with me when I am down in the dumps or enjoying my greatest triumphs, someone who will be an equal partner always (and not just as long as the money is there). I prefer an independent equal who wants to be there rather than someone who needs to be there or simply likes my stuff better. Anyway, to each their own. Link to post Share on other sites
thatone Posted July 28, 2011 Share Posted July 28, 2011 Yep. You are cool. i couldn't tell if you were being sarcastic or not . Link to post Share on other sites
musemaj11 Posted July 28, 2011 Share Posted July 28, 2011 i like doing the stereotypical woman stuff too. Such as what? Im just curious, because these days when women say they are traditional women, I dont think they even understand what the words mean. women give back to men in diff ways. like hello, women have to birth children, is that fair? lolSo everytime I pay for your meal, I get the right to make you 'bear my children'? Sweet. thank god, my bf is a gentleman he treats me so well, and i love him to pieces and i do so much for him as he does for me. for instance, i show him love in ways that cant be paid for, i am his emotional support, his friend, his confidant, i am the female energy that he needs.Too bad, he has to pay for all those services. So much for love. Link to post Share on other sites
Winterly Posted July 28, 2011 Share Posted July 28, 2011 No, I think the guy is nor my husband, so I often pay by myself. Link to post Share on other sites
musemaj11 Posted July 28, 2011 Share Posted July 28, 2011 (edited) I used to sympathize with women who complain that their men dont help around the house. But now all I can say to that is, "Suck on that b*tches! They are just making you work for all the money they paid while you were dating." Women are funny creatures. One time they think that they deserve to be given preferential treatment because they are women and the next time they complain that they are given different treatment because they are women. I mean make up your goddamn mind woman! Geez. Edited July 28, 2011 by musemaj11 Link to post Share on other sites
Dusk1983 Posted July 28, 2011 Share Posted July 28, 2011 Such as what? Im just curious, because these days when women say they are traditional women, I dont think they even understand what the words mean. Nicely done, because her only possible answer is 'nest making' and house keeping - which are the exact things that feminism has fought so hard to dissociate from the feminine domain, and everything the modern woman rejects. So, in fact, men are still held to traditional gender expectations (and paying through the nose for it) whereas women have complete latitude to define their own; and usually without any clarity whatsoever, because they've rejected most of the constituent parts. Too bad, he has to pay for all those services. So much for love. I haven't always agree with your posts here, but the above really is an arrow to the heart of things; this issue is not just one of inequality, but an ugly, transactive truth about the real nature of relationships which shames us all. Link to post Share on other sites
NursingGirl Posted July 28, 2011 Share Posted July 28, 2011 i couldn't tell if you were being sarcastic or not . This website is kinda that way...expect the worst! But naaa, I meant it. Link to post Share on other sites
musemaj11 Posted July 28, 2011 Share Posted July 28, 2011 BTW, if I did not like the woman at all I would still try to pay for the entire check. That is what I always do. I even try to pay if i go out with a male friend to grab lunch. I am conditioned to pay for the bill at all times. That is how i am wired. Good for you sir. But just because thats how you are wired, doesnt mean your way is the right way. If you were born in Sweden, you would be wired to expect women to pay their own share and still see your way as the right way. Link to post Share on other sites
NursingGirl Posted July 28, 2011 Share Posted July 28, 2011 Good for you sir. But just because thats how you are wired, doesnt mean your way is the right way. If you were born in Sweden, you would be wired to expect women to pay their own share and still see your way as the right way. I don't think there is any "right way". Whatever someone is comfortable with is the right way for that person. What do you say Pierre? Link to post Share on other sites
sassybetch Posted July 28, 2011 Share Posted July 28, 2011 i sort of feel like you guys hate women, or don't believe a woman should be treated like a woman? it seems like a lot of men in here were really hurt in the past, and now believe all women are like that and that nobody deserves any sort of good treatment. a lot of the posts have such bitter undertones in them. i mean have you looked at yourself? i mean you guys are the single ones afterall. Link to post Share on other sites
Queen Zenobia Posted July 28, 2011 Share Posted July 28, 2011 i sort of feel like you guys hate women, or don't believe a woman should be treated like a woman? it seems like a lot of men in here were really hurt in the past, and now believe all women are like that and that nobody deserves any sort of good treatment. a lot of the posts have such bitter undertones in them. i mean have you looked at yourself? i mean you guys are the single ones afterall. I can see where they're coming from though. I know of some women who will date a guy just for a free dinner. Now, I can see how this might not be a big deal if you're going out for a relatively cheap date (like a sub shop or chipotle or something, or a movie) but some of the more expensive restaurants can add up pretty quickly. It's a fine line to walk. I'm not going to judge some of these guys for trying to look out for their finances. Link to post Share on other sites
sassybetch Posted July 28, 2011 Share Posted July 28, 2011 I can see where they're coming from though. I know of some women who will date a guy just for a free dinner. Now, I can see how this might not be a big deal if you're going out for a relatively cheap date (like a sub shop or chipotle or something, or a movie) but some of the more expensive restaurants can add up pretty quickly. It's a fine line to walk. I'm not going to judge some of these guys for trying to look out for their finances. completely agree but not all women are gold diggers and are looking to just take take take from the guy. there are a lot of beautiful and genuine women on this planet, they just need to know where they can find them. if you find a woman like that, you will want to treat them well. Link to post Share on other sites
sassybetch Posted July 28, 2011 Share Posted July 28, 2011 On the contrary, I don't hate women. I just hate you. What does any of the above have to do with who should pay for the first few dates and why? Nothing. wow you take message boards a little too seriously haha, relax. do you get this upset about everything? yikerooz Link to post Share on other sites
Woggle Posted July 28, 2011 Share Posted July 28, 2011 I don't hate women but with the way some women act a man has to be careful. A good woman should sympathize with this and give a man a chance to trust her. It's similar to letting an animal smell your hand before you pet it. You don't blame the animal for protecting itself. I also think there is a serious backlash to the selective way many women these days approach equality. A man has to live up to his traditional role but ask a woman to do anything traditional and you get a lecture about how you want to send women back in the kitchen. Link to post Share on other sites
carhill Posted July 28, 2011 Share Posted July 28, 2011 should the guy pay ? on dates or say your going to a hotel , your views. i think they should to show their appreciation of the girl , at least for the first 6 months or so Not gonna happen in carhill's lifetime. A few dates, sure. Six months?!? Link to post Share on other sites
NursingGirl Posted July 28, 2011 Share Posted July 28, 2011 I don't hate women but with the way some women act a man has to be careful. A good woman should sympathize with this and give a man a chance to trust her. It's similar to letting an animal smell your hand before you pet it. You don't blame the animal for protecting itself. I also think there is a serious backlash to the selective way many women these days approach equality. A man has to live up to his traditional role but ask a woman to do anything traditional and you get a lecture about how you want to send women back in the kitchen. I understand this. I guess I didn't think people had such strong views about it one way or another. Hey, I've been hurt, too. I'm sure anyone out there dating has been hurt at one time or another and probably in a quite serious way. With such strong views and differing views...I wonder if it's even possible to avoid mine fields these days? We seem to be enemies before we even start (from the sounds of it here). Link to post Share on other sites
Woggle Posted July 28, 2011 Share Posted July 28, 2011 I understand this. I guess I didn't think people had such strong views about it one way or another. Hey, I've been hurt, too. I'm sure anyone out there dating has been hurt at one time or another and probably in a quite serious way. With such strong views and differing views...I wonder if it's even possible to avoid mine fields these days? We seem to be enemies before we even start (from the sounds of it here). I don't think we need to treat each other as enemies but just give each other a chance to know the other person and understand why a person is guarded. Some women think that if a man doesn't just blindly trust any woman he is a misogynist which is not true. Link to post Share on other sites
zengirl Posted July 28, 2011 Share Posted July 28, 2011 I don't think we need to treat each other as enemies but just give each other a chance to know the other person and understand why a person is guarded. Some women think that if a man doesn't just blindly trust any woman he is a misogynist which is not true. A person is guarded, regardless of gender, because he/she is afraid of getting hurt, has been hurt, and/or has seen other people hurt. sally4sara loves to point it out, but many men use money as their shield anyway. I've not met a man who didn't pay on early dates because he was guarded and wondering about me. That seems an interesting psychology. (I'm not dissing it. I just haven't seen it.) Is that how you were with your wife, Woggle? Link to post Share on other sites
sally4sara Posted July 28, 2011 Share Posted July 28, 2011 I don't hate women but with the way some women act a man has to be careful. A good woman should sympathize with this and give a man a chance to trust her. It's similar to letting an animal smell your hand before you pet it. You don't blame the animal for protecting itself. I also think there is a serious backlash to the selective way many women these days approach equality. A man has to live up to his traditional role but ask a woman to do anything traditional and you get a lecture about how you want to send women back in the kitchen. Who says a man has to live up to that role? What would your male friends say if you suddenly wanted like 5 kids, all adopted and wanted to be a SAH dad just so you could open your own day care center focused on ballet? And if a bad history with female attitudes is what makes a man slow to trust a woman, why would a woman have to sympathize when you consider the history of male attitudes she has had to deal with. If we rest on suspicion, no one is going to trust at all. New face should get a new chance, not new face should be pitted against some *******'s history. I'd have never ended up with my husband if I viewed him as likely being like other men I got to know. Link to post Share on other sites
NursingGirl Posted July 28, 2011 Share Posted July 28, 2011 I don't think we need to treat each other as enemies but just give each other a chance to know the other person and understand why a person is guarded. Some women think that if a man doesn't just blindly trust any woman he is a misogynist which is not true. I understand guarded. Yep, I pretty much think we all are who have been in a relationship at this point. Link to post Share on other sites
sally4sara Posted July 28, 2011 Share Posted July 28, 2011 A person is guarded, regardless of gender, because he/she is afraid of getting hurt, has been hurt, and/or has seen other people hurt. sally4sara loves to point it out, but many men use money as their shield anyway. I've not met a man who didn't pay on early dates because he was guarded and wondering about me. That seems an interesting psychology. (I'm not dissing it. I just haven't seen it.) Is that how you were with your wife, Woggle? Ahhh hahahahaaaaa! But seriously, I wish I didn't have to point it out. Link to post Share on other sites
Woggle Posted July 28, 2011 Share Posted July 28, 2011 Who says a man has to live up to that role? What would your male friends say if you suddenly wanted like 5 kids, all adopted and wanted to be a SAH dad just so you could open your own day care center focused on ballet? And if a bad history with female attitudes is what makes a man slow to trust a woman, why would a woman have to sympathize when you consider the history of male attitudes she has had to deal with. If we rest on suspicion, no one is going to trust at all. New face should get a new chance, not new face should be pitted against some *******'s history. I'd have never ended up with my husband if I viewed him as likely being like other men I got to know. You are not one of those women but as evidenced by this thread some women do expect a man be traditional. A person should eventually be able to earn trust but I understand why a woman would not want to meet a strange man she just met at his own house. Not all men are rapists but a woman needs to protect herself. Why can't women understand when a man wants to protect his wallet? Link to post Share on other sites
sally4sara Posted July 28, 2011 Share Posted July 28, 2011 You are not one of those women but as evidenced by this thread some women do expect a man be traditional. A person should eventually be able to earn trust but I understand why a woman would not want to meet a strange man she just met at his own house. Not all men are rapists but a woman needs to protect herself. Why can't women understand when a man wants to protect his wallet? You should consider yourself privileged to be as worried about your wallet as someone else is about the safety of their body! Do you really think your average ANYONE is so concerned about their wallet compared to their body in say....South Africa? But you go ahead and keep getting in a twist over your first world problems there white boy! Link to post Share on other sites
sally4sara Posted July 28, 2011 Share Posted July 28, 2011 In other words, "Stop whining about forking over your money, Mr. U.S. white man, because people are scared in Africa!" Thought I'd seen it all, guess not. Nope. Pointing out that if this is what keeps someone up at night they are living a charmed life. Ever been a homeless runaway? They will get in your wallet too; take it from someone who was one. Replacement wallet? as low as a few dollars Money? replaceable if you are willing to work your physical and mental well being? priceless Link to post Share on other sites
azsinglegal Posted July 28, 2011 Share Posted July 28, 2011 Early dates, yes I expect a man to pay. In a relationship, I think it should be 50/50. Link to post Share on other sites
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