Woggle Posted July 2, 2011 Share Posted July 2, 2011 I notice how some women love to scream from the rooftops about their right to have casual sex and be as sexual as a man but then when a man gives them just that they want to play the poor little victim. You can't keep playing both sides of the fence. Link to post Share on other sites
rafallus Posted July 2, 2011 Share Posted July 2, 2011 I notice how some women love to scream from the rooftops about their right to have casual sex and be as sexual as a man but then when a man gives them just that they want to play the poor little victim. You can't keep playing both sides of the fence. Are you really going to care about idiots though? Why not just focus on worthwhile women who don't pull that crap off? Link to post Share on other sites
angie16 Posted July 2, 2011 Share Posted July 2, 2011 ok I am a woman and let me tell you -- if you DONT want a serious relationship, yet you're dating and sleeping with women you need to say it. A woman assumes that if you are dating her, calling her, spending time with her, making plans, and sleeping with her -- then you are building a relationship. If you're looking for an activity partner with benefits then you need to be up front. I had this scenario myself a few months ago -- dated for 3 months, dinners, weekend trips, met his family -- then he looks at me shocked because i should have realized through telepathy that he's not over his ex from 2 years ago and he's not looking for a relationship. And i wasn't the only one. If you're so confident in not wanting a relationship be up front before you sleep with them. Link to post Share on other sites
thatone Posted July 2, 2011 Share Posted July 2, 2011 yet women are not expected to do the same. we're on a 5 page broken record loop here. Link to post Share on other sites
Mutant Debutante Posted July 2, 2011 Share Posted July 2, 2011 I notice how some women love to scream from the rooftops about their right to have casual sex and be as sexual as a man but then when a man gives them just that they want to play the poor little victim. You can't keep playing both sides of the fence. Focus, Woggle. Which woman in this thread is playing both sides? YOU can't keep holding other women accountable for what a few say. Some women dig casual sex. A lot of women take sex more seriously. And did you miss the part where OP has sex AND tells them he loves them? How is that possibly not misleading? What is he some hippie flowerchild who loves the moonbeams and the trees too? No, he's a tool and he doesn't love Jack but his own dick. Whatta maroon. Link to post Share on other sites
Mutant Debutante Posted July 2, 2011 Share Posted July 2, 2011 yet women are not expected to do the same. we're on a 5 page broken record loop here. Who says? I don't **** guys, tell them I love them, and then get my friends to help me lie to them and dump them so I can try to bang the rest of their family. It would be trashy of me and it's trashy of him. Link to post Share on other sites
FeelingSmall Posted July 2, 2011 Share Posted July 2, 2011 Maybe 50 years ago, not today, sorry. If someone wants a relationship, it's up to them to say today with all the random hooking up going on. I hate to agree with this, but the way A LOT of people behave today I would NEVER assume anything. I say what I'm looking for from the get go. It's proven time and time again to be a good idea. Link to post Share on other sites
thatone Posted July 2, 2011 Share Posted July 2, 2011 (edited) Some women dig casual sex. A lot of women take sex more seriously. Who says? I don't **** guys, tell them I love them, and then get my friends to help me lie to them and dump them so I can try to bang the rest of their family. It would be trashy of me and it's trashy of him. classic female response. admit fact, then completely disregard it by saying the one letter word "I". you don't know any of the women he's gotten and you can't sympathize or empathize with them by considering your own actions and beliefs. by his own math, about 8 of 10 of them are completely ok with the situation he has going, only about 20% identify with your opinions. from my own experience i think his numbers are fairly accurate. Edited July 2, 2011 by thatone Link to post Share on other sites
snug.bunny Posted July 2, 2011 Share Posted July 2, 2011 I'm not sure why this has turned into a battle. OP asked a question and in trying to get to the root of it, he then dodged a question. If you're genuinely concerned with tackling an issue, then start answering some honest questions. If not, stop wasting the boards time. Link to post Share on other sites
Woggle Posted July 2, 2011 Share Posted July 2, 2011 Focus, Woggle. Which woman in this thread is playing both sides? YOU can't keep holding other women accountable for what a few say. Some women dig casual sex. A lot of women take sex more seriously. And did you miss the part where OP has sex AND tells them he loves them? How is that possibly not misleading? What is he some hippie flowerchild who loves the moonbeams and the trees too? No, he's a tool and he doesn't love Jack but his own dick. Whatta maroon. It's not any specific woman but I hear on this board and other places how women have the right to their sexuality and to sleep around like men but then when a man has casual sex with them all of a sudden he's a pig. It doesn't make any sense. Link to post Share on other sites
Andy_K Posted July 2, 2011 Share Posted July 2, 2011 so its not my fault that a woman assumed we're in an exclusive LTR. I agree, it's not your fault. But it is your responsibility. If you have no consideration for the feelings you might cause in someone by sex & dating, you're an *******. And if you don't want the responsibility, you've got a whole lot of growing up to do. Sex is for adults, not self-centered kids. Link to post Share on other sites
carhill Posted July 3, 2011 Share Posted July 3, 2011 I'm not sure why this has turned into a battle. OP asked a question and in trying to get to the root of it, he then dodged a question. If you're genuinely concerned with tackling an issue, then start answering some honest questions. If not, stop wasting the boards time. I've seen this before IRL and heard it from wives and girlfriends. It's the 'specific question' methodology. If the OP is asked a very specific question, he will answer *that* specific question honestly, but will add nothing further. In the dating dynamic, he's Mr. Good Time (I'll bet he really is a good time) and doesn't proactively communicate his perspective, rather reacts, if required, to specific questions. If no questions are forthcoming, then the good time continues unabated. While this methodology may serve him well as a single man, where each day brings another potential 'good time', he's in for a rude awakening should he ever get married, where clear and proactive communication is critical to health. However, marriage and LTR's are not a requirement for living so the status quo can continue without modification or concern. Clear and proactive communication is not asserting that the recipient is a child and cannot express themselves, rather it is asserting that one's own self is decidedly an adult and is taking responsibility for ones' own perspective, actions and words. Part of that is understanding the effects of those aspects upon another human who hears their 'I love you' and feels their dickinsider. It's called empathy. Neither gender has a stranglehold on the existence or dearth of empathy, IME. In the past, I've met female versions of the OP and the take-away from those experiences wasn't so much that they were evil people, rather more like Hoovers who liked that I loved them and was affectionate and caring, but 'me', the person, was really interchangeable and largely irrelevant; they liked the feelings in themselves and it was essentially all about them. Once clarity invaded those feelings, erasure commenced and it was on to the next dust bunny. Over time, the feeling of irrelevance in hindsight became an active thought and analysis process to better suss out the Hoovers from more genuine and proactive examples in real time. In the OP's case, time will reveal whether he or his female friend had the more applicable assessment. If it works out for him in life, then it does. Still a lot of decades down the pike to experience the gamut of consequences. Enjoy. Link to post Share on other sites
Author KOH Posted July 3, 2011 Author Share Posted July 3, 2011 Focus, Woggle. Which woman in this thread is playing both sides? YOU can't keep holding other women accountable for what a few say. Some women dig casual sex. A lot of women take sex more seriously. And did you miss the part where OP has sex AND tells them he loves them? How is that possibly not misleading? What is he some hippie flowerchild who loves the moonbeams and the trees too? No, he's a tool and he doesn't love Jack but his own dick. Whatta maroon. wow, you're really taking this personally. listen, why do I have to be the one to tell them that I don't want a LTR? those conversations are awkward & take the fun away from everything, & that is the reason why I don't want to be involved in a LTR, communication is more important in a LTR, which means that anyone that wants a LTR should be the one to start such a conversation. a serious question shouldn't be asked by someone that hates serious relationships. Link to post Share on other sites
Author KOH Posted July 3, 2011 Author Share Posted July 3, 2011 I'm not sure why this has turned into a battle. OP asked a question and in trying to get to the root of it, he then dodged a question. If you're genuinely concerned with tackling an issue, then start answering some honest questions. If not, stop wasting the boards time. when did that happen? Link to post Share on other sites
Author KOH Posted July 3, 2011 Author Share Posted July 3, 2011 when did that happen? bump, still looking for an answer. Link to post Share on other sites
lolo1234 Posted July 3, 2011 Share Posted July 3, 2011 Just refrain from telling girls you love them. That's the only thing I see u really doing wrong here. You're 22! Who at 22 is thinking about LTRs? The other thing I wanted to bring up is that it kinda sounds like this "friend" of yours is still into you. Sheis playing the role of the confidante in an effort to still stay close to you. I wouldn't put too much weight into what she says. Link to post Share on other sites
Author KOH Posted July 3, 2011 Author Share Posted July 3, 2011 I'm a woman and I disagree. If ANYONE (male or female) assumes anything just because someone is having sex with them then that's THEIR problem. If you are too weak, unassertive to ask where you stand and make ASSUMPTIONS that someone wants a relationship with you just because you are having sex then you aren't too bright and if you get played then you get played. That's life. Survival of the fittest. No one should assume anything. Andy And no one has the responsibility to tell someone they don't want a relationship if the other party didn't ask that questions specifically. No one is "obligated" to do anything in life; I don't see anything morally wrong with this. It just depends on the person and if they want to let the other person know or not. We all have different morals and according to MY morals, I don't think it's an obligation. People who just assume things are dumbasses imho. Desserved to be played. I never assume anything. Ever. I always ask where I stand. If other women are too dumb to do the same then that's THEIR problem. I couldn't care less about their problems btw. I'm just smart enough to know better. great post, & I agree with it 100%. Link to post Share on other sites
Author KOH Posted July 3, 2011 Author Share Posted July 3, 2011 Just refrain from telling girls you love them. That's the only thing I see u really doing wrong here. You're 22! Who at 22 is thinking about LTRs? The other thing I wanted to bring up is that it kinda sounds like this "friend" of yours is still into you. Sheis playing the role of the confidante in an effort to still stay close to you. I wouldn't put too much weight into what she says. I don't think she's still into me, she's just stirring the pot, she might get jealous if I don't spend much time with her, but its only platonic. Link to post Share on other sites
Author KOH Posted July 3, 2011 Author Share Posted July 3, 2011 your a double triple jerk care to elaborate? Link to post Share on other sites
rafallus Posted July 3, 2011 Share Posted July 3, 2011 care to elaborate? I will: He's a troll, and not a very good one. Link to post Share on other sites
Author KOH Posted July 3, 2011 Author Share Posted July 3, 2011 jerks wont admit it if you don't have anything useful to add, just leave. Link to post Share on other sites
Author KOH Posted July 3, 2011 Author Share Posted July 3, 2011 I will: He's a troll, and not a very good one. a troll with 68 posts & he's still here? Link to post Share on other sites
rafallus Posted July 3, 2011 Share Posted July 3, 2011 a troll with 68 posts & he's still here? Already reported him. Supposedly got banned before. Now he's on a post spree, making one every minute. Somebody probably will deeply regret that ****, once he gets sober/stops being high. Link to post Share on other sites
Author KOH Posted July 3, 2011 Author Share Posted July 3, 2011 Already reported him. Supposedly got banned before. Now he's on a post spree, making one every minute. Somebody probably will deeply regret that ****, once he gets sober/stops being high. I took a look at his threads, he sounds more like a drunk bitter old man. Link to post Share on other sites
Author KOH Posted July 4, 2011 Author Share Posted July 4, 2011 bump....... Link to post Share on other sites
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