AtomicOrphan Posted April 21, 2004 Share Posted April 21, 2004 I'm brand new to this board. I found it by way of a Google search regarding pornography. I have strong conflicting feelings on the issue. I enjoy pornography as in sexually explicit images of naked women. I browse the internet for "amateur" pornography. I'm more turned on by real looking images, than commercial and staged-looking images. I find there's too much anger in hardcore pornography. It makes me nervous. Other guys say they don't detect it. They describe it as "funny" or "cool." How one misses the anger, I don't know. It's ubiquitous in action porn. On the 'net it's mostly amateur porn. There's a few guys having sex with one woman while cracking jokes or saying degrading things. I can't help but see the women involved as people. I cannot divorce the participant's individuality from her acts. I wonder why she is participating. I wonder if she's OK. Most of these women are college age, so I wonder about the subsequent repercussions in her future. What motivates her? Money, thrills, drugs, self-loathing? I feel angry at the men who are making the porn. I think they're scummy and exploitative. The upshot is, it makes me nervous. The whole phenomenon, the fact that there is so damned much of this porn everywhere. I know the arguments about "her choice," and "it's all consensual," and "no one's forced," and so forth. Some people would call my concerns sexist and patriarchal. Well...I didn't invite these feelings. They showed up. They were there when I watched my first porn video 20 years ago. As I said in the beginning, I'm not anti-sex, or anti-porn. I don't presume to understand the psychology of porn participants. I just wonder, and feel quite uneasy. What do you think? Agree? Disagree? Do you know something about the industry that I don't? Link to post Share on other sites
Kat Posted April 21, 2004 Share Posted April 21, 2004 I know nothing about the porn industry. Just amature porn Link to post Share on other sites
Author AtomicOrphan Posted April 21, 2004 Author Share Posted April 21, 2004 I realized I posted my topic in the "marriage" section. I've reposted it in the "Mind, Body, and Soul" category, which seems like a better spot for it. Sorry, I'm new around here! Link to post Share on other sites
Pyrannaste Posted April 21, 2004 Share Posted April 21, 2004 I bet you are about to get a dozen marriage proposals from female loveshackers :) I am a woman, I strongly dislike porn (I am not interested it and I *hate* the fact that my bf has tons of it), but i don't see anything wrong in porn itself. Most porn stars are doing it for money, some of them because they are exibitionists and like it as a job. Bad looking exibitionistic men who can't keep an erection become flashers, the good looking ones who can keep an erection become porn stars. Of course if they get STDs or their job has repercussions on their future, it's entirely their problem. I don't feel sorry for them, as I don't feel sorry for F1 pilots who get injured in car crashes. I also don't think that porn-at least the *good*porn filmed in the USA- is exploitative. It's one of the few jobs where women are paid even more than men!!! Amateur porn....well, sometimes it's people who acted stupid and ended up on the internet. But a lot amateur porn(especially movies) was filmed with actors. I see some of the anger you talked about , too. I hate it, but no wonder, I'm a woman. Porn clips are supposed to be used as a replacement for imagination, they are like canned fantasies! You are not supposed to worry whether the girls there are _really_ enjoying it;).You see some men acting rough, well, that's because it's exactly what some people like to see. You'll find in porn what porn users(usually males) want in return for their money. Fortunately most people can separate fantasies from reality. Women there are NOT enjoying it. (in most cases) They are paid to act excited and faking orgasms. Only real orgasms you'll see in porn flicks, are when a woman is using a vibrator on herself. Or when what you are seeing is a *real* amateur clip(which are difficult to find). One good piece of news: you'll find soon enough that being uncomfortable with porn is going to be a great advantage in relationships with average women , just try to browse the forums for anti-porn threads. Link to post Share on other sites
sumdude Posted April 21, 2004 Share Posted April 21, 2004 Women there are NOT enjoying it. (in most cases) They are paid to act excited and faking orgasms. Only real orgasms you'll see in porn flicks, are when a woman is using a vibrator on herself. Not that it matters but... how would you know? Link to post Share on other sites
Pyrannaste Posted April 21, 2004 Share Posted April 21, 2004 Originally posted by sumdude Not that it matters but... how would you know? Being a woman, it's easier to tell fake orgasms from real ones (and fake lesbians from real ones) in porn flicks. Sighs and moans and gruntling are exaggerated. Screams, too. (In SM flicks where you see people playing with candles, usually the woman has a layer of special protective cream where the hot wax is spilling on, to prevent her from getting serious burns) Most orgasms are faked, like you could bend a lady over the kitchen table, call her names, sink your member in her and make her orgasm in three minutes on a film set in front of the cameraman and of people checking your makeup is not dripping and the screenshot is neat. That's why if you hope to see some real orgasms it's better go looking for real amateur flicks. I also read a couple of interviews to former porn actresses(not famous ones). Link to post Share on other sites
mintjulep Posted April 21, 2004 Share Posted April 21, 2004 I am a woman, I strongly dislike porn (I am not interested it and I *hate* the fact that my bf has tons of it), but i don't see anything wrong in porn itself.It's funny because I see it the opposite way. I think that the idea of using erotic images to sexually excite oneself is fine, and I have no problems with my boyfriend's porn collection, but I have concerns about the porn industry, and specifically the amateur hard porn that dehumanizes women and displays a lot of the anger that AtomicOrphan was talking about. There's nothing wrong with looking at beautiful women (or men for us ladies), but when a girl finds the porn industry to be her last refuge for gaining income, it becomes degrading (this is simply a little bit of conjecture combined with having watched a two hour documentary on strippers and porn stars for one of my women's studies classes). Most porn stars are doing it for money, some of them because they are exibitionists and like it as a job. Most porn stars are doing it for money, but generally, the ones who do it because they *like it* as a job have very low self esteems (if they didn't before they entered the industry, they usually do afterwards). Not every girl who does porn becomes famous, and once you're past your prime (which happens very quickly), you lose a lot of "respect" and what shards of self respect you might have had while you were riding on top (yes, the pun was intended, and i apologize in advance). As a somewhat experienced poster here, I know I'm going to get shot down for saying that porn is okay, but as a women's studies minor, I do have to say that violence, hate, and dehumanizing women is not okay. Unfortunately, it seems you can't always have one without the other, and I just had to put in my two cents after all this time. Link to post Share on other sites
Author AtomicOrphan Posted April 22, 2004 Author Share Posted April 22, 2004 My disgust is particularly over internet porn series with titles such as "Anal Destruction" and "The Bang Bus." In re the latter, a friend of mine was like, "Hey check this out...." "The Bang Bus" features a few guys who ride around in a van, pick up women, and offer to pay them for sex. At the end of the clip, they throw the girl out of the van and take off without paying her. Ha ha ha! As they're, ahem, "banging" the woman, they're saying things like, "I asked you a f**king question, b*tch! Who the f*ck is your m*ther f**king daddy!" I wondered what her real "daddy" would think if he saw that! There are dozens of "Bang Bus" videos. And there are dozens and dozens of "Bang Bus" style video series on the net. These scenarios are staged, of course. I'm sure they go through all the legal consent BS beforehand. They wouldn't last very long otherwise. This phenomenon differs from the "mainstream" adult video business, you know, Jenna Jameson and all that. A net porn-maker can set himself up for a nominal investment. Then it's just a matter of finding participants. Don't know much about how they do that. These aren't women trying to break into the mainstream porn industry, which itself is a ticket to nowhere, unless you're one of a few Jennas. I imagine they're trying to make quick buck to pay for school, or something. Maybe they need drugs, I don't know. I have a theory that the sexual morays are changing for the worse. Preteens are sexualized way too early via MTV and Britney Spears. Sex may have all its emotional connections unplugged for young men and women today. Recently, a fifteen year old girl was arrested for uploading sexually explicit images of herself onto her webcam site. They are charging a "child" with "child pornography." I don't think of fifteen year olds as children, but our society treats 'em like children until they do something wrong, and that's part of the problem. Last week there was a story about a University of Indiana Freshman who is paying her way through school via a sex webcam. She's one who got, er, exposed. There must be others. Anyway, maybe I'm just an old fogie. What I regard as shocking and distrubing behavior is just everyday life for our youth. Link to post Share on other sites
mintjulep Posted April 22, 2004 Share Posted April 22, 2004 Anyway, maybe I'm just an old fogie. What I regard as shocking and distrubing behavior is just everyday life for our youth. I wouldn't say that. A lot of older men look at the kind of porn you are describing, and I hardly doubt that it's "everyday life". Link to post Share on other sites
Pyrannaste Posted April 22, 2004 Share Posted April 22, 2004 Originally posted by mintjulep but when a girl finds the porn industry to be her last refuge for gaining income, it becomes degrading (this is simply a little bit of conjecture combined with having watched a two hour documentary on strippers and porn stars for one of my women's studies classes). Most porn stars are doing it for money, but generally, the ones who do it because they *like it* as a job have very low self esteems (if they didn't before they entered the industry, they usually do afterwards). Not every girl who does porn becomes famous, and once you're past your prime (which happens very quickly), you lose a lot of "respect" and what shards of self respect you might have had while you were riding on top (yes, the pun was intended, and i apologize in advance). I can't help agreeing with you. Your post was extremely interesting, after reading and re-reading it I put a few things in a different perspective. I probably had a very naive and idealized idea of how some things go in the real world, and the ideal porn industry scenario does *not*match the real porn industry scenario. Link to post Share on other sites
Author AtomicOrphan Posted April 22, 2004 Author Share Posted April 22, 2004 Originally posted by mintjulep I wouldn't say that. A lot of older men look at the kind of porn you are describing, and I hardly doubt that it's "everyday life". I mean, I'm not old old, I'm just turning 35. Perhaps it's my values. I have to ask myself if I would have been promiscuous had it been an option. A lot of my life I've been among the "celibated." Yes, it's necessary to turn that adjective into a passive verb! I don't think I value monogamy due to sour grapes, although my sex drive and my principles seem irreconcilable at times... Link to post Share on other sites
mintjulep Posted April 22, 2004 Share Posted April 22, 2004 I have a sneaking suspicion I'm going to be b*tch slapped for this, but I don't think monogamy and porn have anything to do with one another. I suppose I want to ask why you veered off of the topic of porn, and if so, if I missed something crucial. Link to post Share on other sites
Author AtomicOrphan Posted April 23, 2004 Author Share Posted April 23, 2004 Originally posted by mintjulep I have a sneaking suspicion I'm going to be b*tch slapped for this, but I don't think monogamy and porn have anything to do with one another. I suppose I want to ask why you veered off of the topic of porn, and if so, if I missed something crucial. No, I just veered off-topic and it was my topic off of which to veer. Link to post Share on other sites
mintjulep Posted April 23, 2004 Share Posted April 23, 2004 it was my topic off of which to veer Fair 'nough Link to post Share on other sites
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