26 weeks of counselling.. WTF?

[Eve]

Ok, I have to check in with my Doctor because of past stuff, which at the time was pretty ****ing serious. This includes counselling at intervals when needed and that is all very relevant, yes. Anyhow, this time around it has been recommended that I attend a MINIMUM of 26 weeks of therapy.

 

Well, that is a bit long.

 

I know what it is, it is because I don't talk about stuff directly from that time. Generally I think I am ok. I know when I am not ok and have things that I do at those times that make me ok again.

 

Obviously this is the internet and I don't want to share what I have to have therapy for... even my Husband doesn't know, so please do not ask.

 

Has anyone had therapy for this length of time?

 

I have raised this topic with my close friends and they think I should do it but I am not sure. That is a lot of hours, which could be spent doing other more productive things.

 

26 weeks? That is longer than the treatment I had back in the actual day.

 

I know I don't have a personality disorder or anything like that.

 

Take care,

Eve x

[denise_xo]

About a decade ago now, I had roughly that amount of counseling, but it was split in two portions with a few months in between because I couldn't afford to pay so was relying on various free services. So I first got ten or eleven sessions from one provider and then another sixteen from another.

 

I wouldn't get hung up in the number if I were you. Just start going and if you reach a point where it isn't doing anything for you, then quit. IME it takes at least three sessions to really start digging in to stuff and making constructive/ strategic forward looking plans. Ten -twelve weeks go by pretty quickly.

[carhill]

Sure, my exW and I had 14 months of MC. Mostly of the time it was weekly but I recall a month 'vacation' being thrown in to work on things on our own.

 

For myself, meaningful work and change started at around eight months. Cost me about five grand in total. Insurance had a negotiated rate but didn't pay for it. Good investment, IMO.

[Eve]

About a decade ago now, I had roughly that amount of counseling, but it was split in two portions with a few months in between because I couldn't afford to pay so was relying on various free services. So I first got ten or eleven sessions from one provider and then another sixteen from another.

 

I wouldn't get hung up in the number if I were you. Just start going and if you reach a point where it isn't doing anything for you, then quit. IME it takes at least three sessions to really start digging in to stuff and making constructive/ strategic forward looking plans. Ten -twelve weeks go by pretty quickly.

 

H'mmmm.. yes. I am pretty hung up on the number of weeks.

 

I can identify that I don't like the idea of someone getting to know that aspect of me really really well. Although I don't have issue with getting on with just about anyone in real life, I am very selective towards who gets to know me. So, although I can be vulnerable around people, often I am not really that vulnerable. In fact, I am not even vulnerable really.

 

H'mmm.. Kind of creeps me out slightly.

 

I will have to consider this further. I don't want to get all ****ed up after all the work I have done to make myself happy.

 

I am like 20% into this idea. I am thinking six sessions, then get on with my life.

 

My Doctor says I should go because I am leaving a major transition of raising children and having lots of responsibility and that it would be good for me to have support during this process.

 

I thought, '**** me, that's a bit deep'. I am not used to people telling me what is good for me.

 

H'mmm..

 

Cheers Carhill for your perspective. You do speak much sense.

 

Take care,

Eve x

[denise_xo]

H'mmmm.. yes. I am pretty hung up on the number of weeks.

 

I can identify that I don't like the idea of someone getting to know that aspect of me really really well. Although I don't have issue with getting on with just about anyone in real life, I am very selective towards who gets to know me. So, although I can be vulnerable around people, often I am not really that vulnerable. In fact, I am not even vulnerable really.

 

H'mmm.. Kind of creeps me out slightly.

 

I will have to consider this further. I don't want to get all ****ed up after all the work I have done to make myself happy.

 

I am like 20% into this idea. I am thinking six sessions, then get on with my life.

 

My Doctor says I should go because I am leaving a major transition of raising children and having lots of responsibility and that it would be good for me to have support during this process.

 

I thought, '**** me, that's a bit deep'. I am not used to people telling me what is good for me.

 

H'mmm..

 

Cheers Carhill for your perspective. You do speak much sense.

 

Take care,

Eve x

 

It's not about 'someone getting to know you'. A therapist is a professional, just like your doctor. Like when you go to a gynecologist, you get undressed below because s/he has a particular function as a professional, and you clearly wouldn't do that with other people. It's the same with a therapist. It's not about him or her 'getting to know you', it's about putting the necessary information on the table (but here through talking as opposed to the gyno test), so that you can address whatever issue is to be addressed.

 

I think a key condition for therapy to be useful, is that a) you are open to working within that particular context to address x, y, z (because a lot of the work will be on you, not the therapist) and b) complete (or at least, near complete) honesty in the therapy room. If you don't feel like working under those conditions, perhaps therapy is not for you at this stage. Personally I have benefitted immensely from it, but like most other things in life you kind of have to want to do it in order for it to have a constructive purpose. I once (when I was about seventeen) was referred to a therapist and it was no use whatsoever because I simply didn't want to be there.

[carhill]

I will add that our psychologist never proscribed a definite program of treatment/therapy, rather was more 'go with the flow' and 'let's see how things go between now and next session'. We'd schedule the next session as part of the 'accounting time' (payment, etc) at the end of each session. He was never pushy at all, in marked contrast to some of the 'salesman' stories I've read here on LS about therapists. In his case, MC was a sideline, as he made most of his money assessing and testifying in abuse/rape cases, and was recommended to us primarily because, as a man, he could challenge me in ways a woman couldn't and also because of his expertise in abuse, as my exW had a history of that.

 

It sounds like your MD is recommending 26 weeks of therapy with an outside therapist. Maybe I read it wrong. If I read it right, IMO, s/he should just refer you out and let the therapist (they're the expert at what they do) decide what is warranted or advisable. Interview the therapist and, if it's not a good fit, get another referral. Good luck

[oldguy]

I'm curious. That is a pretty defined prescription. As for thinking it's a waste of time I would ask; if you where given a prescription medication are you the sort who stops taking the medication when you star to feel better? If so, maybe that's why there is a defined minimum to your sessions

 

You do make me laugh, your therapist wants you to do it & your friends want you to do it so now you are asking strangers on LS if we think you should listen to a professional who knows you well, LOL.

 

If a man calls you a horse you can choose to ignore him. If two men call you a horse you might consider it. When the third man calls you a horse you should buy a saddle. Go do what your therapists is asking

[Eve]

It's not about 'someone getting to know you'. A therapist is a professional, just like your doctor. Like when you go to a gynecologist, you get undressed below because s/he has a particular function as a professional, and you clearly wouldn't do that with other people. It's the same with a therapist. It's not about him or her 'getting to know you', it's about putting the necessary information on the table (but here through talking as opposed to the gyno test), so that you can address whatever issue is to be addressed.

 

I think a key condition for therapy to be useful, is that a) you are open to working within that particular context to address x, y, z (because a lot of the work will be on you, not the therapist) and b) complete (or at least, near complete) honesty in the therapy room. If you don't feel like working under those conditions, perhaps therapy is not for you at this stage. Personally I have benefitted immensely from it, but like most other things in life you kind of have to want to do it in order for it to have a constructive purpose. I once (when I was about seventeen) was referred to a therapist and it was no use whatsoever because I simply didn't want to be there.

 

I would see speaking about aspects of my past as getting to know me, most definitely! Especially for all those weeks. CBT is more forward thinking and one does not have to reveal much. Psychotherapy is much more intrusive. This is what I am weighing up. Opening boxes over a prolonged period of time would be a personal thing for me.

 

Yes, even with a professional.

 

Take care,

Eve x

[carhill]

Psychotherapy is much more intrusive. This is what I am weighing up. Opening boxes over a prolonged period of time would be a personal thing for me.

 

Yes, even with a professional.

 

Interestingly, even as a relative basket case embroiled in an affair, I had no issues being completely transparent, and often painfully so, with our psychologist. I saw MC sessions as uplifting, even when/where difficult issues and work occurred. I also saw how the MC could wrap things up in a positive way, building on what had occurred and sending us out the door generally wanting to be together and work on things rather than tossing daggers at each other. I feel this was more an indicator of his expertise rather than we being good subjects; after all we did divorce so MC wasn't a 'success'.

 

Find a practitioner who's a good fit. It may not be the first one. We got lucky, IMO.

[Eve]

I will add that our psychologist never proscribed a definite program of treatment/therapy, rather was more 'go with the flow' and 'let's see how things go between now and next session'. We'd schedule the next session as part of the 'accounting time' (payment, etc) at the end of each session. He was never pushy at all, in marked contrast to some of the 'salesman' stories I've read here on LS about therapists. In his case, MC was a sideline, as he made most of his money assessing and testifying in abuse/rape cases, and was recommended to us primarily because, as a man, he could challenge me in ways a woman couldn't and also because of his expertise in abuse, as my exW had a history of that.

 

It sounds like your MD is recommending 26 weeks of therapy with an outside therapist. Maybe I read it wrong. If I read it right, IMO, s/he should just refer you out and let the therapist (they're the expert at what they do) decide what is warranted or advisable. Interview the therapist and, if it's not a good fit, get another referral. Good luck

 

Firstly, I don't have to worry about cost due to the service being part of the NHS.

 

Secondly, I combined both consultations for ease. Went to the Doctor. Got referred. Went to consultation, suggestion made of the said minimum number of weeks.

 

I liked the lady a lot who I saw and apparently it is the done thing to suggest such time frames for such matters. So, that is where I am at.

 

First session to begin shortly, if I so choose.

 

Take care,

Eve x

[Eve]

I'm curious. That is a pretty defined prescription. As for thinking it's a waste of time I would ask; if you where given a prescription medication are you the sort who stops taking the medication when you star to feel better? If so, maybe that's why there is a defined minimum to your sessions

 

You do make me laugh, your therapist wants you to do it & your friends want you to do it so now you are asking strangers on LS if we think you should listen to a professional who knows you well, LOL.

 

If a man calls you a horse you can choose to ignore him. If two men call you a horse you might consider it. When the third man calls you a horse you should buy a saddle. Go do what your therapists is asking

 

H'mm.. yes, I am the type to stop taking medication. Very much so. I would rather create another way of doing things...

 

Yes, this is another one of those obvious situations, which I find myself musing upon to make sure I want to do .. whatever.

 

I don't think I want to do this.

 

Maybe another time.

 

It is too scary.

 

Thanks for listening though.

 

What's done is done.

 

Take care,

Eve x

[whichwayisup]

I started seeing a Therapist (CBT) in late November 2003 and once a week for about a year. I continued going because I felt I was still getting a lot out of it, fixing me (anxiety disorder, and along the way some stuff from past came up, my fathers death, and some new anxieties and worries about the future) and it wasn't until I was completely ready to let go of therapy, realized how long I was there! Over 3 years.

CBT is more forward thinking and one does not have to reveal much. Psychotherapy is much more intrusive. This is what I am weighing up. Opening boxes over a prolonged period of time would be a personal thing for me.

Then maybe I was just lucky because my therapist wasn't just doing CBT, she got me to open up about things I kept locked deep down inside of me. When you find the right person to talk, a connection and the trust is there, the flood gates open! Atleast for me it did and I'm so thankful and feel blessed that I found her.

 

Eve, I wish you courage and strength, don't be afraid.. Lots of hugs.

[Ross MwcFan]

I was having CBT for longer than 26 weeks.

[oldguy]

H'mm.. yes, I am the type to stop taking medication. Very much so. I would rather create another way of doing things...

 

Yes, this is another one of those obvious situations, which I find myself musing upon to make sure I want to do .. whatever.

 

I don't think I want to do this.

 

Maybe another time.

 

It is too scary.

 

Thanks for listening though.

 

What's done is done.

 

Take care,

Eve x

 

You have to ultimately decide for yourself but effective psycho therapy IS often unpleasant & scary. Like going to the dentist to get a tooth repaired before we get a toothache or after, it is your choice. And also like a bad tooth; these things never go away just because the symptoms subside for awhile.

 

I know your scared & I'm not telling you to do this now but I would ask that you think about it eventually. Get use to it, more comfortable with it.

[Eve]

To note quickly a thanks for the further responses. Thank you for taking the time. It is much appreciated. God Has Blessed you all to hear me.

 

Right now, I have no idea how I will respond when the time comes to go and enter therapy. Realistically, I don't have time for any form of emotional melt down. Hence my caution is down entirely to how my entering therapy will affect my family.. who are my jewel.

 

Of course these things must contain much reason which sometimes must supersede such things..

 

Take care,

Eve xxx

[Eve]

After much contemplation I have decided to participate in this psycho therapy thing. Sessions start in two weeks time.

 

I have told Hubby and the kids and explained that I may go through some changes.

 

It has bothered them, which kind of bothers me but well, it's not like they are babies now. They can do most things for themselves. Hubby should be alright as it is Cricket season at the mo, with football season due to start soon ..

 

If I decide my life is ****, become a cougar or start watching Sex in The City from this experience, I shall blame Old Guy.

 

**** me.. Here we go..

 

Take care,

Eve x

[carhill]

Best wishes and keep us posted. It's a process; take it one day and one session at a time.

[Eve]

Best wishes and keep us posted. It's a process; take it one day and one session at a time.

 

Thanks Carhill. This is not going to be a very nice experience for the most part but it can't kill me or owt like that.

 

I will post anything pertinent.

 

Thanks again.

 

Take care,

Eve x

[Trishi]

You have to remember that a professional is bound by the pact of silence (or whatever the term in english is).

 

Basically, they aren't allowed to give any information about you to anyone without your clear permission.

 

And while I don't know about your current condition too well... I had 89 weeks of counselling the first time, and am currently going to the same guy as well. When thinking about it, yeah, it get's pretty scary, but these guys are professionals - If they try to manipulate you to do something, black-mail, whatever, they can potentially ruin their whole career. They have no reason to try something stupid like that, so you shouldn't be too worried about it.

[Eve]

You have to remember that a professional is bound by the pact of silence (or whatever the term in english is).

 

Basically, they aren't allowed to give any information about you to anyone without your clear permission.

 

And while I don't know about your current condition too well... I had 89 weeks of counselling the first time, and am currently going to the same guy as well. When thinking about it, yeah, it get's pretty scary, but these guys are professionals - If they try to manipulate you to do something, black-mail, whatever, they can potentially ruin their whole career. They have no reason to try something stupid like that, so you shouldn't be too worried about it.

 

Yeah, confidentiality is important.

 

The person I am going to comes highly recommended so I will be in safe hands. I will have to cease controlling my environment for a time is all, which may be a good thing... maybe. I just can't be doing with too many weird dreams, which is what happens with me when I have counselling. I prefer to just sleep, get up and get on with whatever comes my way.

 

89 weeks is a long time. Do you think that the process of attending helped you build a new sense of how a stable relationship can be? Hope you know what I mean by this. Like, that the therapist would not let you down and was there for you?

 

Take care,

Eve x

[Lovelybird]

I am having 20 counseling sessions so far. My counselor helped me treamendously. Let me put it this this, the things I won't even imagine before, now they become possible and reality. My counselor is the person I most trust and I know he has my best interests in his heart. Even now I don't have any crisis, I still go to see him and chat and seek guidance.

 

Therapists are trained to be "passive" advisor and active listener. They won't tell you what to do or be intruding about the things you are not ready to reveal. But during the sessions the healing just happen. In the beginning I did feel bad though. Each time after the session, I felt like *****, but I kept going. Right now my life has many changes, good ones.

 

Does God use counselors to heal us? Yes, He does !

My counselor is a Christian Counselor. Bible teaches us to confess to each other (someone is trustworthy, in this case, a good counselor), so we can be healed. I still have problems to do this with non-professional christians, because many of them either will give you a simple answer to make you feel even worse, or judge you. they don't have the understanding and maturity to do that. but a good Christian counselor has lots of understandings. the goals of Secular counseling and Christian counseling have different directions although they overlap in many areas. but this maybe off topic a little.

 

Good luck with your new adventure and any good thing is worth hard work

Edited July 30, 2011 by Lovelybird

[Eve]

I am having 20 counseling sessions so far. My counselor helped me treamendously. Let me put it this this, the things I won't even imagine before, now they become possible and reality. My counselor is the person I most trust and I know he has my best interests in his heart. Even now I don't have any crisis, I still go to see him and chat and seek guidance.

 

Therapists are trained to be "passive" advisor and active listener. They won't tell you what to do or be intruding about the things you are not ready to reveal. But during the sessions the healing just happen. In the beginning I did feel bad though. Each time after the session, I felt like *****, but I kept going. Right now my life has many changes, good ones.

 

Does God use counselors to heal us? Yes, He does !

My counselor is a Christian Counselor. Bible teaches us to confess to each other (someone is trustworthy, in this case, a good counselor), so we can be healed. I still have problems to do this with non-professional christians, because many of them either will give you a simple answer to make you feel even worse, or judge you. they don't have the understanding and maturity to do that. but a good Christian counselor has lots of understandings. the goals of Secular counseling and Christian counseling have different directions although they overlap in many areas. but this maybe off topic a little.

 

Good luck with your new adventure and any good thing is worth hard work

 

Glad it is working out for you Lovelybird!

 

I suppose being in the UK we don't have too much of a focus on having to explain our personal beliefs. I prefer it this way as really people can say they are .. whatever .. and still be twats. It is quite common place that people who work in that industry have some knowledge and most importantly respect for spirituality.

 

I did ask her if she has a faith as I can't be doing with hardcore heathens and was satisfied with her response; she has an awareness of spirit but is unsure of who or what it is. That's good enough for me.

 

I am a good judge of character and would say that she is a good person and a professional. I could tell this from our initial meeting.

 

Can't say I am looking forward to going but I am open to going now.

 

Small steps.

 

Take care,

Eve x

[FitChick]

I've had all sorts of therapy, conventional and unconventional, over the years. Never took pharmaceuticals, thank God. The quickest, best results I had were from The Lefkoe Method. At the time I recall thinking, Why wasn't this invented when I needed it years ago? I could have saved time and money. Better late than never!

[Eve]

I've had all sorts of therapy, conventional and unconventional, over the years. Never took pharmaceuticals, thank God. The quickest, best results I had were from The Lefkoe Method. At the time I recall thinking, Why wasn't this invented when I needed it years ago? I could have saved time and money. Better late than never!

 

H'mmm.. I have had a browse of the site and it looks like interesting stuff.

 

Ok, I will order some literature and have a read. Another addition to my pile of books..

 

Thanks for that Fitchick!

 

Take care,

Eve x

[FitChick]

H'mmm.. I have had a browse of the site and it looks like interesting stuff.

 

Ok, I will order some literature and have a read. Another addition to my pile of books..

 

Thanks for that Fitchick!

 

Take care,

Eve x

 

I haven't looked at the main website in a long time so I'm not sure exactly where this free interactive demo is so I'm pasting the direct link. Don't just watch it or you won't get much out of it. You will need about 45 min. and complete privacy because you have to speak out loud in certain parts. It gives you a good idea of the method.

 

Yes you have to give them your email address but that is so you can received Morty's weekly blog posts. I seldom read them but have saved them in a separate folder because once in a while they are very pertinent to me specifically. I'd love to hear your feedback after you've done the process.