Met on dating site, he's married, and I don't care...

[cheergirl]

I want relationship (of a particular type) and he does too. He likes certain things, his wife doesn't. Apparently she knows, (but does she? and do I care? not really)

all i want is a bit of romance, fun, and some intelligent conversation...He can provide all those things. Once a month/fortnight? Fine... I'm divorced very busy w/family so I don't want a man in my house again; not looking for him to leave his wife family. I couldn't possibly look after a man full-time again...But P/T, yes... Happily...

I've been told by exes that i am like a guy in a lot of ways. I'm always the 1st to fall asleep after, when he wants to talk and cuddle, but the up side is I am praised highly for not nagging or bitching.

I don't recognise myself in a lot of these scenarios I've read about here... I cannot see myself sitting home pining for this chap. Just not the type, not looking for anything anymore permanent or fixed than it works out to be. Hold on loosely, Que Sera,sera and all that... Anyone else like me out there?

[alexandria35]

Read an old post of yours on the dating forum. It was a list of your deal breakers and at the very top of the list you put liars and dishonesty. So what happened? Are liars now cool with you? Do you only hate dishonesty when it affects you but everyone else can be damned?

[Goldenspoon]

Read an old post of yours on the dating forum. It was a list of your deal breakers and at the very top of the list you put liars and dishonesty. So what happened? Are liars now cool with you? Do you only hate dishonesty when it affects you but everyone else can be damned?

 

She seems selfish and the lost type. No direction in life and no morals, yet self-centered.

[Steadfast]

Among other unsavory, awful things I see more than a hint of gender-switching sexism in your post. You're 'guy like' which somehow excuses or evens the score for infidelity? I've read some of your old posts cheergirl and you're not that dim. Besides, if you really didn't care why post at all? Perhaps, like many here, you're hurting more than you're willing to admit.

 

If the plan works, you'll only have a part time instead of a full time *********. No one with any honor or integrity cheats on their spouse...and you are no better if you participate. Be honest; would you want to be in her shoes?

 

That's the life lesson here. Unless you're willing to taste it, don't dish it out.

[cheergirl]

Read an old post of yours on the dating forum. It was a list of your deal breakers and at the very top of the list you put liars and dishonesty. So what happened? Are liars now cool with you? Do you only hate dishonesty when it affects you but everyone else can be damned?

 

No liars are not cool with me, he hasn't lied to me.

I hate dishonesty within my personal relationships, others tolerate it, some relish it. Whatever they have worked out obviously works for them. It's not for me to tell him how to live his life...

[cheergirl]

Among other unsavory, awful things I see more than a hint of gender-switching sexism in your post. You're 'guy like' which somehow excuses or evens the score for infidelity? I've read some of your old posts cheergirl and you're not that dim. Besides, if you really didn't care why post at all? Perhaps, like many here, you're hurting more than you're willing to admit.

 

If the plan works, you'll only have a part time instead of a full time *********. No one with any honor or integrity cheats on their spouse...and you are no better if you participate. Be honest; would you want to be in her shoes?

 

That's the life lesson here. Unless you're willing to taste it, don't dish it out.

Uhh, I believe I specifically asked if there was anyone "like me"...

I'm posting because i want to (see above)... Same as you, no?

I have no idea what you mean about "gender-switching and evening scores". I'm just me. Sorry that you find me unsavoury and awful, but I am not looking for your approval, (nor do I care what you think of me). (BTW I have never fit into the "normal" box. If you've taken the time to read some of my former posts then you saw i argued (in vain) w/dozens of people trying to justify a woman gaining 80lbs and moaning her husband didn't fancy her anymore. Uh no-brainer! But that's me practical. If husbands and wives are being sexually/emotionally satisfied they tend to stick around, (in my experience). You're right i am not dim, not sure how that relates here...

I don't want anything full-time...

No-one with any intelligence make such blanket statements as: "No-one with any dignity or honour cheats on their spouse..." long-term mental or physical illness, sexual dysfunction, disinterest, weight gain, addictions, work-obsession , avoidance through children etc. we're all individuals, not everyone's idea of marriage is the same thing...

[cheergirl]

Be honest; would you want to be in her shoes?

 

That's the life lesson here. Unless you're willing to taste it, don't dish it out.

 

You're gonna hate this.... If i did find myself in her shoes, I would have to take responsibility as to why it happened.

You can't own another person.

They do what they want to do.

[whichwayisup]

You're gonna hate this.... If i did find myself in her shoes, I would have to take responsibility as to why it happened.

You can't own another person.

They do what they want to do.

 

Obviously you don't believe in monogamy and/or marriage.

 

A person can't MAKE another person cheat, that choice is their own and blaming the spouse or the marriage isn't a justification to go and cheat! Though many of times the person who is cheating is broken inside and has shi.tty communication skills.

 

Maybe one day you'll be on the other end of this and deal with betrayal, loss of trust and have your whole life turned upside down.. But, you don't care now that you are part of helping this man cheat on his wife, and betray her in the worst way.

 

Karma. That's all I willl say.

 

PS MM LIE!!!!!!! You are FOOLING yourself if you think he's always telling you the truth and won't lie or omit truths from you. Keep in mind he is LYING and OMITTING stuff from the woman he said vows to, in front of family and friends.. so what is stopping him from doing the same to you? But, no ... He would never lie to you. Ever.

[Emme]

Cheergirl I wish you well. You are the perfect example of the women I'm talking about who want the convenience of an affair. Be careful with your heart and I feel I should warn you. Never say never.

[cheergirl]

Cheergirl I wish you well. You are the perfect example of the women I'm talking about who want the convenience of an affair. Be careful with your heart and I feel I should warn you. Never say never.

 

I never did say never, others have... I said he hasn't.

You're right, I do want convenience, i don't want hassle, i don't want someone taking up all my time, I actually prefer the idea of someone who has their own life far away from me.

Thanks for wishing me well and being civil.

My heart if beyond the point of breakability at this stage in my life...

Perhaps that's why I'm so ambivalent about it all, who knows?

[chalkfarm]

I never did say never, others have... I said he hasn't.

You're right, I do want convenience, i don't want hassle, i don't want someone taking up all my time, I actually prefer the idea of someone who has their own life far away from me.

Thanks for wishing me well and being civil.

My heart if beyond the point of breakability at this stage in my life...

Perhaps that's why I'm so ambivalent about it all, who knows?

 

Hi there CheerGirl,

 

In hindsight, I too probably felt as though being with a MM would actually protect my heart. I knew that I couldn't really rely on him. I couldn't ask anything of him. There could be no dependence, only self reliance. You know the old pessimist's saying "if you don't expect anything, you won't be disappointed." I thought that was me.

 

Then he said he was "in love" with me..... Oh dear. He wanted to be a "big strong man" for me. He saw his shoulders as wide enough for me to rest my head. All of that self reliance kind-of heads out the window at times like that. And what a surprise!

 

With another person involved (MM) telling me wonderful things, I sort of lost my resolve.... I chose to believe.....

 

I guess my point is - you can't really foresee what will happen and how you will feel. I understand you are strong and independent. That right now you don't need or really want anymore from him. But things can change. Feelings can grow. And we can certainly surprise ourselves!

 

I know you weren't asking for "support", just some like minds to chime in.... but I couldn't help myself.

[Emme]

 

Once a month/fortnight? Fine...

 

I'm divorced very busy w/family so I don't want a man in my house again;

 

not looking for him to leave his wife family. I couldn't possibly look after a man full-time again...But P/T, yes... Happily...

 

 

Be careful what you say. That's what I meant when I said never say never.

[cheergirl]

Hi there CheerGirl,

 

In hindsight, I too probably felt as though being with a MM would actually protect my heart. I knew that I couldn't really rely on him. I couldn't ask anything of him. There could be no dependence, only self reliance. You know the old pessimist's saying "if you don't expect anything, you won't be disappointed." I thought that was me.

 

Then he said he was "in love" with me..... Oh dear. He wanted to be a "big strong man" for me. He saw his shoulders as wide enough for me to rest my head. All of that self reliance kind-of heads out the window at times like that. And what a surprise!

 

With another person involved (MM) telling me wonderful things, I sort of lost my resolve.... I chose to believe.....

 

I guess my point is - you can't really foresee what will happen and how you will feel. I understand you are strong and independent. That right now you don't need or really want anymore from him. But things can change. Feelings can grow. And we can certainly surprise ourselves!

 

I know you weren't asking for "support", just some like minds to chime in.... but I couldn't help myself.

 

I am interested in contribution, from all ends of the spectrum just not judgements and bitchiness. You have been neither, thank you, you're very kind...

[cheergirl]

Be careful what you say. That's what I meant when I said never say never.

Gotcha, umm, but yeah, I can safely say never, kids are too big now... When I lost my partner, I knew that was it. No more "playing house" that ship sailed, so I am sure about that....

[OldOnTheInside]

To change the subject...

 

What was your marriage like?

[Owl]

I am interested in contribution, from all ends of the spectrum just not judgements and bitchiness. You have been neither, thank you, you're very kind...

 

Define "contribution".

 

What specific kind of support or interaction were you expecting when you posted this?

[reboot]

I also don't get the point. If you're fine with this arrangement, happy with no regrets, what possible difference would any of our opinions make?

[phillyfan]

I want relationship (of a particular type) and he does too. He likes certain things, his wife doesn't. Apparently she knows, (but does she? and do I care? not really)

all i want is a bit of romance, fun, and some intelligent conversation...He can provide all those things. Once a month/fortnight? Fine... I'm divorced very busy w/family so I don't want a man in my house again; not looking for him to leave his wife family. I couldn't possibly look after a man full-time again...But P/T, yes... Happily...

I've been told by exes that i am like a guy in a lot of ways. I'm always the 1st to fall asleep after, when he wants to talk and cuddle, but the up side is I am praised highly for not nagging or bitching.

I don't recognise myself in a lot of these scenarios I've read about here... I cannot see myself sitting home pining for this chap. Just not the type, not looking for anything anymore permanent or fixed than it works out to be. Hold on loosely, Que Sera,sera and all that... Anyone else like me out there?

 

U dont care bout destroyin his wifes life. Thats bad girl, real selfish.

[frenchiefun]

Hey cheergirl

 

I'm in a similar situation to you - a part time lover suits me fine, and the fact that he's married really doesn't concern me. He's the married one, not me, and his infidelity is between he and his wife. Nothing to do with me.

 

I too don't want the hassle of someone around all the time, and I find our relationship, which has been going on for years and years, very satisfying. I love him and he loves me and the sex is awesome.

 

Enjoy!

[Mme. Chaucer]

You're gonna hate this.... If i did find myself in her shoes, I would have to take responsibility as to why it happened.

You can't own another person.

They do what they want to do.

 

You're right, I do hate this.

 

I agree, one can't own another person.

 

But why would it be her responsibility if her husband cheats? That is just wrong.

 

Why can't you just go find somebody to have casual sex with who is not married, or in an "open" one? Craigslist! Swinger clubs! Do you have a conscience? Do you have a moral code? And do you think poorly of your sister women in general? It almost sounds like you think so very little of yourself that you're getting some kind of sad ego boost out of "stealing" some other woman's committed partner. Otherwise ... why CHOOSE this?

[betterdeal]

Anyone else like me out there?

 

Yeah, loads. There are mistresses and pool boys all over the place.

 

Hope that helps.

[Tenacity]

I want relationship (of a particular type) and he does too. He likes certain things, his wife doesn't. Apparently she knows, (but does she? and do I care? not really)

all i want is a bit of romance, fun, and some intelligent conversation...He can provide all those things. Once a month/fortnight? Fine... I'm divorced very busy w/family so I don't want a man in my house again; not looking for him to leave his wife family. I couldn't possibly look after a man full-time again...But P/T, yes... Happily...

I've been told by exes that i am like a guy in a lot of ways. I'm always the 1st to fall asleep after, when he wants to talk and cuddle, but the up side is I am praised highly for not nagging or bitching.

I don't recognise myself in a lot of these scenarios I've read about here... I cannot see myself sitting home pining for this chap. Just not the type, not looking for anything anymore permanent or fixed than it works out to be. Hold on loosely, Que Sera,sera and all that... Anyone else like me out there?

 

Why on earth would you care if there is "anyone else like you out there"? You said yourself you just want part-time sex and conversation. What point is there in posting here about it? Of course there are people like you out there, but so what?

 

If it's such a casual affair then why you would want to use your valuable time posting on an internet forum about it? Makes no sense.

[Mimolicious]

Yeah, loads. There are mistresses and pool boys all over the place.

 

Hope that helps.

 

:laugh::lmao: You ain't lying!

 

OP-don't complaint when this MM treats you like dirt. I mean, people act the way that they want to be treated. Just saying... I guess live life your way.

 

*hides all CPR kits in sight*

[bentnotbroken]

:laugh::lmao: You ain't lying!

 

OP-don't complaint when this MM treats you like dirt. I mean, people act the way that they want to be treated. Just saying... I guess live life your way.

 

*hides all CPR kits in sight*

 

 

She won't. She doesn't care remember. What a gal.

[LilyBart]

It almost sounds like you think so very little of yourself that you're getting some kind of sad ego boost out of "stealing" some other woman's committed partner. Otherwise ... why CHOOSE this?

 

*SIGH* This again.

 

Why can't you people (general "you") understand something that is FREELY OFFERED CANNOT BE STOLEN?

 

The term "stealing" is usually attached to objects. The human equivalent would be "kidnapping". How many MM have been literally kidnapped by the OW? (of course, there might be some but those are the situations that make it into the news)

 

No, most MM are with their OW by their own volition. No gun to the head needed.

 

Isn't that what bothers a BS the most? That "their" H have decided to become "her" MM? It was the H's CHOICE (the act of selecting; the option to chose) to become involved with another woman.

 

I'd like to meet a BW whose H was in an A against his will. :lmao: