candid_xo Posted July 1, 2011 Share Posted July 1, 2011 Okay, so my ex and I broke up 3 years ago...but it kind of ended with a "call me when you make up your mind" thing. But we both clearly knew it was over. A few months after the break up, I had started dating someone else, and so had he, but I basically realized I had lost a great guy, so I messaged him to apologize and basically said that if he ever needed anything, not to hesitate to call me, in which he told me never to message him again. That was 3 years ago, and I still think of him. Not a week goes by where I don't wonder "What if". It's so crazy that the one time I've seen a family member of his my heart started to go crazy wondering if he was around. I clearly still have feelings and I would love to just sit down and talk or just be amicable. He and his girlfriend are no longer going out and I am ending a relationship that lasted too long. Although I tend to be optimistic and a lot of my friends tell me that if it's fate, he'll come back, I feel that if he really wanted to come back or talk to me, he easily could of. Not to put myself down, but I'm easily accessible through social networks and school. I want to get over home, but I feel as if he'll always be in the back of my mind. Opinions? Suggestions? p.s. sorry for the odd title. The site wasn't letting me name it a relevant title for some reason Link to post Share on other sites
amethyste Posted July 1, 2011 Share Posted July 1, 2011 Sincerely, I can imagine myself in your situation; this is one of the things that scare me the most - that I'll still think about my ex for many, many years from now on. How old are you (both of you)? I'm asking because you said you're "easily accessible through social networks and school". I think this sounds like a cliche, but people change. The one you knew 3+ years ago, probably doesn't even exist anymore. Because you have so many questions going through your mind, I think you should contact him and see if anything has changed. See what he has to say. And if he won't talk to you, or if he'll reject you, you'll finally see that it wasn't meant to be, and you'll finally realize how things really are. In this case, you should go for 100% NC and do your best to move on from a simple fantasy. Link to post Share on other sites
Exit Posted July 1, 2011 Share Posted July 1, 2011 Hmmm, I can't imagine missing someone after 3 years. Even the girl I was so sure I would marry, who broke my heart, who I thought I would love forever... after about a year and a few months I was just over it. I can look at her Facebook now and not feel a single twinge of pain or regret, I don't even know her anymore. I agree with the other reply above... this person you miss has probably changed a lot in 3 years. You're still missing the person who left you a long time ago, but you could end up meeting up with him and thinking "eww, who is this?" lol. Nothing to lose really if you feel you absolutely want to contact him. Old wounds should be pretty well healed by now. But you have to ask yourself, if you try to contact him and get no response, or a bad response, how much are you going to let it set you back? This person is basically a stranger to you now, would you really let it break your heart and send you into a depression if nothing good came of it? If so, don't bother, you've lived for 3 years without him and you can keep going. But if you really want to see if you can have some grand reconciliation years down the road, I guess you could give it a shot. Link to post Share on other sites
Feelin Frisky Posted July 1, 2011 Share Posted July 1, 2011 At first I thought if he said to never contact him again that you shouldn't. But if you're sure his relationship is over and you're really driven to at least know, you might send him something starting with "I know you never said to contact you but I still think about you and wonder...." and then try to sign off in a way where you're not putting an obligation on him. Then if he doesn't contact you TAKE IT AS OVER PERMANENTLY. Good luck. Link to post Share on other sites
denise_xo Posted July 1, 2011 Share Posted July 1, 2011 I agree that you have nothing to lose, and if the response is a rejection (or no response), then it might help you to move on. I had someone on my mind in the way that you do for more than a decade, and it finally got resolved by us being in contact again. Link to post Share on other sites
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