Els Posted July 3, 2011 Share Posted July 3, 2011 What good reason is there to not be attracted to someone equal or better than you in looks and who you like enough to spend a lot of your free time with? If those two criteria are enough to make a good relationship, all men and women on this planet would be happily married. Evidently they are not. Link to post Share on other sites
Wolf18 Posted July 3, 2011 Share Posted July 3, 2011 If those two criteria are enough to make a good relationship, all men and women on this planet would be happily married. Evidently they are not. They are enough and in many parts of the world, from what people have told me or I've seen on vacations, most men and women ARE happily married. The reason marriages fail is because most American women are afflicted with "grass is much greener" syndrome, it's quite annoying. Link to post Share on other sites
iris219 Posted July 3, 2011 Share Posted July 3, 2011 What good reason is there to not be attracted to someone equal or better than you in looks and who you like enough to spend a lot of your free time with. The reason is because I'm simply not. And that's a pretty good reason. I can't make myself be attracted to someone simply because they aren't hideous and I like getting a drink with them. Attraction, unfortunately, doesn't work like that. Are you seriously attracted to every woman who's equal to you in looks and you like hanging out with? Link to post Share on other sites
aj22one Posted July 3, 2011 Share Posted July 3, 2011 Are you seriously attracted to every woman who's equal to you in looks and you like hanging out with? I know this isn't directed at me but I know in general this is true for me. I am usually (almost always) attracted to women who are equal in looks and are cool to hang out with. Men in general are not fickle about attraction in quite the same way some women are. Link to post Share on other sites
Wolf18 Posted July 3, 2011 Share Posted July 3, 2011 The reason is because I'm simply not. And that's a pretty good reason. I can't make myself be attracted to someone simply because they aren't hideous and I like getting a drink with them. Attraction, unfortunately, doesn't work like that. [/Quote] For men it does. Do you have any real reason other than "I'm just not!" ? I can bet if random guys from all walks of life weren't pumping up the average womans egos in the midst of wild pussy chases this wouldn't happen. Are you seriously attracted to every woman who's equal to you in looks and you like hanging out with? [/Quote] There haven't been a huge amount of women I've actually enjoyed hanging out with 1 on 1 (maybe I've met 4-5 in my whole life), and every time I was absolutely attracted to them, and they ranged in looks from women who were slightly below my league, another few were equal and 1-2 were above. If some semblance of physical attraction coupled with mutual enjoyment of each others company isn't enough for you, then what the hell is? You want that guy from the cover of a Romance novel to whisk you away in a pirate/vampire/victorian alter universe? And don't start with all that baloney about smell or "I can't explain it". Any time I over hear a woman describing her boyfriend amongst her girlfriends she's never at a loss for words describing why she's dating a guy "He's got huge shoulders, he's really tall, he's got big hands , he makes 6 figures". Link to post Share on other sites
LittleTiger Posted July 3, 2011 Share Posted July 3, 2011 If some semblance of physical attraction coupled with mutual enjoyment of each others company isn't enough for you, then what the hell is? You want that guy from the cover of a Romance novel to whisk you away in a pirate/vampire/victorian alter universe? And don't start with all that baloney about smell or "I can't explain it". Any time I over hear a woman describing her boyfriend amongst her girlfriends she's never at a loss for words describing why she's dating a guy "He's got huge shoulders, he's really tall, he's got big hands , he makes 6 figures". This is where you're misunderstanding - and is the whole point - if a woman says she's not attracted to you, then she's not attracted to you - ie there IS NO physical attraction. S*d all you can do about it - it's either there or it isn't. What possible reason could a woman have for saying she's not attracted to you, if she is? You're not being logical. I'm with my man because he is damn sexy and he turns me on. There are lots of reasons - his smell turns me on, the way he throws his head back when he laughs turns me on, the way he walks turns me on, the way he takes charge when something needs sorting turns me on, the way he hugs me turns me on - there is indeed an endless list - but the vast majority of them have nothing, whatsoever, to do with the way he looks. I'm not saying that looks and physical attributes have absolutely no place in attraction, because obviously they do, but you can be the hottest guy on the planet and you'll still find plenty of women who don't find you attractive - that's just the way it is. Link to post Share on other sites
iris219 Posted July 3, 2011 Share Posted July 3, 2011 For men it does. Do you have any real reason other than "I'm just not!" ? There are many reasons why I might not be attracted to someone YOU think I should be. Here are a few: 1. I don’t feel it (yes, pheromones exist). There's no specific reason and doesn't have to be. This happens for lots of reasons. Maybe the guy gives off a weird vibe or something is off in our interaction. Maybe I don't consider him attractive at all even though most women would. I have guy friends who are like my brothers. There are set boundaries that would never allow me to feel attraction for them even though I love hanging out with them. 2. I know we aren’t compatible. We might have different worldviews or different ways of communicating or value different things in life. If I don’t respect or can’t understand a guy’s values or lifestyle, that’s a problem. We would argue constantly and make each other miserable if we tried to have a relationship. These things don’t hurt our friendship, but it would make dating impossible so I don’t form an attraction. Not every man and woman of equal attractiveness would be compatible in a relationship. 3. We’re too similar. This kills attraction for me. I’m getting ready to meet up with one of my guy friends. We’ve been friends for years and I’ve never been attracted to him, even though he’s very attractive. We have a lot in common, which is good, but it makes things predictable and boring. We don’t learn from each other; we don’t challenge each other. We don’t bring new perspectives to the table because we’re so similar. We are comfortable together, but there’s no spark. There’s nothing exciting about the two of us together. We would have a very blah relationship. I don’t want to date myself. I want to date someone who adds to my life in some way and teaches me new things. We are, however, very good friends and we enjoy hanging out. You’re simplifying attraction. A lot of elements have to come together for there to be actual attraction. Link to post Share on other sites
Content Posted July 3, 2011 Share Posted July 3, 2011 What good reason is there to not be attracted to someone equal or better than you in looks and who you like enough to spend a lot of your free time with? That's only in places like America where women always think they're much better than they actually are. I'm sure 50 years ago, this girl would be married to Mr Dude because there was no such thing as "serial dating" (IE having one night stands with a bunch of pretty boys and players) and people had self-realization. Women nowadays can afford to "wait" for that 'perfect' guy at the ironic expense of her own long term happiness, for a variety of reasons. 1) women don't need men to eat, 2) women can go longer without sex, 3) the women who want sex can get it whenever they want as they wait. And how is that a good thing? All that means is that most men find you attractive, and most men don't find me or 9 out of 10 of every day men attractive. Sexual attraction is indeed all about looks. Women who have sex with Hugh Hefner aren't doing it because the geezers a stud, they're doing it because he's got money and can advance their porn careers. But if you're a guy whose just got himself, it is about looks. Besides, somedude says they get along great together, so then what is it about? The unproven mythological pheremones? He's her friend because of his looks. This whole women don't care about looks stuff is really obnoxious. Why do you keep perpetuating this myth? We'll admit looks matter, why can't you when the fact is so obvious and in my opinion even more superficial on the womans side of the fence. Women are just as visual as men. What they aren't is logical. A man will see a girl who is in his league who isn't amazing by any standards, but will say "hey, I'm not Fabio either" and realize that it's honestly not so bad to date someone whose not model cover material. Women on the other hand will just say "Nope, just not attracted" to her counterpart and live in a world of no-mirrors and constant phoney ego-stroking from horny men looking for one night stands with plain jane at the bar. You make a good point in that plain and average women have inflated egos because good looking men may sleep with them and stroke their ego,where an average guy gets rejected tons and humbled Link to post Share on other sites
welikeincrowds Posted July 3, 2011 Share Posted July 3, 2011 Are you still handing out pics, somedude? It seems like the consensus is that you've got nothing to worry about... which doesn't surprise me, really. Link to post Share on other sites
Author somedude81 Posted July 3, 2011 Author Share Posted July 3, 2011 Are you still handing out pics, somedude? It seems like the consensus is that you've got nothing to worry about... which doesn't surprise me, really. Nah, not anymore. I've gotten more than enough feedback. I'm just waiting for this thread to die. Link to post Share on other sites
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