nonstopzx Posted July 1, 2011 Share Posted July 1, 2011 Me and this girl have been close for about 6 months now and we tried to be in a relationship but it just didn't work out because she "couldn't handle it". I respected that decision and attempted to be her friend for the next few months and its agony. She's all I ever think about now but she says shes just not into me anymore. I can't get her off my mind and I know I can't make her like me. I can't go into NC because we are THAT close in terms of friends. I want to tell her how I feel so bad but I don't know how she will react and it will be awkward when we hang out, but I can't go on living like this and suffering everytime we hang out. I just don't know what to do right now and its absolutely killing me. Someone please give me advice. Link to post Share on other sites
thelovingkind Posted July 1, 2011 Share Posted July 1, 2011 Well, being her friend is making you feel agony, so why is it so important that you continue to be a part of her daily life? She should understand, even if she is really disappointed, why you need space before you can try and rekindle a platonic friendship. Your only other option is to continue living like this until eventually she gets with someone and you're forced to face up to the futility of it all. Probably better to deal with this now, on your own terms. Link to post Share on other sites
amethyste Posted July 1, 2011 Share Posted July 1, 2011 I think you're torturing yourself. I also think that you should tell her the truth - then you'll find out if she wants to be with you, or not. Prepare yourself for a "rejection", but don't forget to look on the bright side: everything will be over (as in "settled"). You have to distance yourself from her... Link to post Share on other sites
Exit Posted July 1, 2011 Share Posted July 1, 2011 Yeah... kinda sounds like a win/win situation to me. I would just tell her one final time how you feel. If you get a good response, great, if it creeps her out and makes her not want to be friends anymore, well good, since you find the friendship to be a source of agony anyway. And don't say you "can't" go NC. You can do whatever you want lol. But if you don't want to go NC without trying to get a final answer about things, then you could try one more time. But she sounds pretty decided.... Link to post Share on other sites
shortee143 Posted July 1, 2011 Share Posted July 1, 2011 I dated a friend...now we arent together (on his doing), however we have so many mutual friends and are literally in the same crew that do everything together. As EXIT said, going NC, is a choice for you, as it is for me. I say I cant, but its more, I'm trying not to hah. I would love to never see him, but in my case, I'm not going to give up my social life with my friends (who Ive none longer than he has even grrr). It has been brutal- and now he is with someone else, and I am subjected to that. I have to deal if I want to stay in contact and continue my social life, but it has been a struggle. You need to determine if the benefit outweighs the pain. Maybe just take a breather for a bit. No one knows what the future holds..but accept it for what it is right now, and that you are not together. I do feel for ya- bc I am trying to maintain the normalcy of my social life, all while being around him. In my case, say I was only friends with my ex, and there werent about 30 mutual friends involved, I think I'd cut him loose, and ditch that friendship, at least for as long as I felt needed, whether that be 2 months, or 6 months, or for good. You just need to try and figure out what your boundaries are with all this. Link to post Share on other sites
Author nonstopzx Posted July 1, 2011 Author Share Posted July 1, 2011 Its just hard because we've become extremely close as friends lately but hanging out with her makes me feel a bit of sad and happy. I wanted to tell her how I feel but do it in a way that we can remain friends but that is very challenging. Link to post Share on other sites
silic0ntoad Posted July 1, 2011 Share Posted July 1, 2011 You're in the friend zone now. Women do not hand themselves as mates to people in the friend zone. Cut this woman off. Better yourself. Stop being a push over, doormat nice guy, don't be her friend, be a man and own up to it. She doesn't like you. Won't like you. Time to find someone who appreciates what you bring to the table, and won't friend zone you. Link to post Share on other sites
RIO5 Posted July 1, 2011 Share Posted July 1, 2011 There ARE ways to get OUT of the friend zone. Its all about how SHE sees you. You kinda have to change the way you look in 'her' eyes. It seems you went about it in a incorrect manner. All that matters is her interest level. You gotta find a way to get that up. Right now, its extremely low. There ARE ways to get that back up...but the chances of that happening are...very slim. Either way, date other women. Show her that your not affected by her rejection. Women want what they cant have. So if your lady friend sees that you are getting the attention of other women...eventually the 'idea' of you will pop back up in her head. For now, I would let it go, focus on other women and understand that she aint dead...all hope is NOT completely gone but you do have to move on. Learn from your mistakes Link to post Share on other sites
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