Husband keeps staying out til morning and doesn't let me know

[mrsgump]

Hi

 

I thought about a PI or following him myself, problem is that I can't always predict his nights out.

 

Previously I thought about making him take a lie detector test before we carry on with our marriage, so at least I could be clear that he had not cheated again which would give me some trust... but now that I've already made moves towards leaving, getting rid of him completely seems like a much better option.

 

I know he has a tendancy to lie and cover up his actions - even if he hasn't cheated I know in future there would be things that made me wonder if he was lying and why. I don't want to doubt everything my husband says.

 

My friends are being supportive - and those who I hadn't previously told about the cheating etc were shocked and also wondering why I've put up with it for so long.

 

All I can say is that love is blind and when you're the third person, things are always much clearer. When you're the one in those shoes it's easy to be blinded by love and wanting to see the good in the person you care for... but at the end of the day everyone has to make a choice about their future. I'm so glad to have realised this before having children and being bound to him forever!!

 

Mauschen, thanks again for your advice and I'm glad to know there are happy endings. I know divorce isn't the end of the world - and at the end of the day I couldn't do much worse than what I already have so things can only get better!

 

I have so many things to get on with in my life and I'm really feeling relieved about leaving. Maybe I'll feel other things at some point, but I've thought about this pretty much since I found out he cheated - which is pretty much the whole of my marriage!

 

It's a sad situation but it is all his loss. Admittedly I made things too easy for him but he still took me for granted. And at least I can look back and say that I did try to save my marriage - it was definitely him causing the problems and not taking the marriage seriously. But at some point enough is enough.