Rejection

[Havoc88]

Hi guys,

 

New here. I guess I just wanted to post to let go of some feelings. Well, my story is, I had a crush on this girl in college, and I felt that she was interested in me too because she'd always look at me, her friends would look at me too, when around her, etc. Well, regrettably, I never approached her, and we recently graduated. I was feeling like crap for not approaching her, so I sent her a friend request on facebook, with a message telling her I liked her and couldn't approach her, which looking back, I guess was a stupid and creepy thing to do. And she never replied back or accepted my request, so obviously I got rejected.

 

Theres probably nothing to do but move on, but how do I cope with this?

 

Thanks for any help.

[shortee143]

I really think rejection has got to be one of the hardest blows one can take. I do not have low self esteem, nor hate who I am, however, I am human. So my ex of now 3 months, he has started seeing someone else, and I sadly see him a lot due to mutual friends, and I am constantly wondering the "why's"..why her and not me, why didn't he want me anymore, etc. Our relationship wasn't volatile one bit, he just left me and all i got was the "i don't want a relationship" excuse. I torment myself wondering wtf happened, and why he doesn't want me, when he used to adore me. TRY not to beat yourself up- perhaps she was seeing someone else, or just didnt want to date. I'm trying to tell myself it isnt me! I am who I am, and I cant change that. Just bc one person rejected you, doesnt mean the next will. Imagine if everyone never rejected anyone?? Boy, would that get complicated!

 

Let the rejections feelings do their thing- but just keep telling yourself you will be ok, and there will always be another girl. In life, you never know when it comes to "rejection"..whether you're rejected like you were just at an attempt to date, whether your bf or gf rejects you 6 months in, or your husband or wife rejects you 10 years in. Even the most beautiful, attractive, amazing people get rejected

[wilsonx]

this is something I want to comment on. You got rejected because you rejected yourself. Whenever you want to hang out with new people, you want to get in the mindset that you are the prize and you are determining whether they are good enough to be with you. I promise you that this sounds egotistical maybe but it really helps. Not everyone is going to like you per se but if you are out having fun with people and you value yourself first, others will see that and will have fun with you.

 

telling someone that you like them will only work with people with extremely low self esteem

[silic0ntoad]

Rejection is harsh because it forces us to look in a subjective manner at our own personal flaws in the eyes of another.

 

To understand yourself, who you really are, and what your real desires and needs are, you must accept and embrace rejection, as it is the only path that leads us to self betterment. Acceptance, popularity, they teach us nothing of the true nature of human innerdependance, and as such, while nice, are not necessary for a learning experience.

 

In this case, you castrated yourself to this girl. Not only were you not man enough to ask her out, you did it in a faceless manner that displayed cowardliness. Learn from your mistakes and thank yourself for the learning opportunity that this has presented.

[Havoc88]

Thanks guys. Some harsh criticisms, but I needed that. You guys are right, I should've approached face-to-face, but was too afraid to do so. Atleast then if I got rejected, it would have been through her mouth, and not like this, where I get completely ignored and no reply.

 

I have been told by many people, different things, that I should have said this or that, or shouldn't have sent a message, etc. But I guess it just wasn't meant to be and I screwed up. Lesson learned, I guess.