YoungSuccesful Posted April 21, 2004 Share Posted April 21, 2004 I'm the kind of guy who wheres his emotions on his sleeve... I say what Im thinking (which is GOOD AND BAD) Known a girl for 3 weeks...completely infatuated...slept with her(cuddled and carressed, not sex)...kissed her (passionately and affectionately)...and have great conversations...Im loving spending time with her...we have been to dinner twice...comfort level is already there for both of us... I feel like Im falling in love...I love using words, I write poems and love to tell a girl what she means to me... I would do it tonight, if I thought it was the right move...but Im not sure if it will scare her...she is young... For all you who know me from my other threads (UNBIASED opinion...dont get on me too bad) For those who dont know me Please reply to this post when you get a chance... http://www.loveshack.org/forums/t37186/ Link to post Share on other sites
V8 Posted April 21, 2004 Share Posted April 21, 2004 Tell your fiance you love someone else. Grow up. Be a man. Wait until you are responsible enough to be in a relationship, then tell the other girl you love her. Link to post Share on other sites
SoleMate Posted April 21, 2004 Share Posted April 21, 2004 As far as I am concerned, the best thing you could do right now would be to scare her off. She's too young to be the "OW". What kind of love is that? Not the selfless kind that seeks the happiness of the loved person. You've got two women, and you're using them both. Doesn't at least one of them deserve to be your one and only? And if your emotions are on your sleeve...do you cover that arm when your fiancee is nearby? Lastly...you can drop the act of "poor little me, I get beat up for having feelings and being in love". You've received deserved criticism for your self-serving and dishonest behavior, not for being in love. Link to post Share on other sites
Author YoungSuccesful Posted April 21, 2004 Author Share Posted April 21, 2004 No **** sherlock... Im not complaining about the critism...cunstructive critism is good... Im looking for opinions and I thank you for yours...(POSITIVE OR NEGATIVE) Link to post Share on other sites
Debster Posted April 21, 2004 Share Posted April 21, 2004 If you did, you wouldn't: 1) Be engaged to someone else 2) Built a relationship based on lies. How young is young - are we talking jailbait here?? Please don't add criminal to your repertoire of being an immature, cheating, lying, dumba@@. Link to post Share on other sites
Author YoungSuccesful Posted April 21, 2004 Author Share Posted April 21, 2004 Whew...I swear...you would have gotten your A$$ kicked by now...girl or not, you people have some bold comments behind your computers...People like me are looking for help and ALSO ASKING FOR TROUBLE by posting here...I will take the GOOD with the BAD, as long as, the occasional person can offer some SOLID input... I admit...I have some growing up to do... but...I do know LOVE... Young is 18 by the way...compared to 26 year old im with now...im 23 Link to post Share on other sites
Debster Posted April 21, 2004 Share Posted April 21, 2004 Sorry you don't appreciate that I'm the kind of gal who wears her heart on her sleeve. I say what I'm thinking.... Whatever happened to you looking for constructive criticism? Either you want it - or you don't. Make up your mind. I'm curious - what is your definition of love? Mine has a lot to do with respect, honesty, trust........ Obviously we have different definitions of love. Link to post Share on other sites
lostforwords Posted April 21, 2004 Share Posted April 21, 2004 Whew...I swear...you would have gotten your A$$ kicked by now...girl or not, you people have some bold comments behind your computers... oh ya.... it takes a real MATURE person to state this you use the word "love" as often as you use the word "f**k"..... do your fiance and your girlyfriend a favor.... drop them both.... and stick to playboy mags and lanolin lotion..... comparitively speaking... your confusing sex with love as your mistaking the words love with f**k..... Link to post Share on other sites
magda Posted April 21, 2004 Share Posted April 21, 2004 I'm curious - what is your definition of love? I'm curious as well. But that aside, what good is love if you don't sustain relationships? Why commit at all? Surely you don't believe that lying is part of love? What do you think: love & long-term relationships are quite different. Love, on the surface, doesn't take much work at all... once it's a conscious effort to sustain it it's a different can of worms. Certainly you may be falling in love, but what does that really mean other than that you are fickle & untrustworthy? Link to post Share on other sites
Fritz Posted April 21, 2004 Share Posted April 21, 2004 Originally posted by YoungSuccesful Whew...I swear...you would have gotten your A$$ kicked by now...girl or not, you people have some bold comments behind your computers...People like me are looking for help and ALSO ASKING FOR TROUBLE by posting here...I will take the GOOD with the BAD, as long as, the occasional person can offer some SOLID input... I admit...I have some growing up to do... but...I do know LOVE... Young is 18 by the way...compared to 26 year old im with now...im 23 Well, do you really? Are you sure its just not early lustful "lovers in love" fog rolling in? Cold feet with the fiance (or however its spelled) thats prompting this? Ask yourself why this is happening. Why are you so in love with this new gal, etc. etc.. If you really feel for this gal, tell her but don't string either of them along. Don't play with people's emotions. Aka, fish or cut bait bud. Link to post Share on other sites
Author YoungSuccesful Posted April 21, 2004 Author Share Posted April 21, 2004 Ok... I respect the word LOVE... I have abused it with my fiancee' where it means compassion, trust, respect, affection (but have broken some of these characteristics already) but I know how important that word is... it is more than a word... and unfortunately, I have gone from being a guy who has it all, to a guy who has it all BUT WITHOUT THE LOVE OF A INCREDIBLE WOMEN AND SUBSTITUTE THAT FOR WEIGHTS, BASKETBALL, AND A REINCARNATED DESIRE TO HANG OUT WITH BUDDIES IN COLLEGE It may be the most stupid thing Ive ever done but I enjoy doing the other things more than being with my fiancee' now... How does that happen? No smarta$$ comments...seriously...I cant explain that Link to post Share on other sites
Debster Posted April 21, 2004 Share Posted April 21, 2004 Putting aside the fact that you are cheating and claiming to be in love with this new woman. The fact that you claim to not have ....the love of an incredible woman..... and .... doing the other things more than being with my fiancee' now... Clearly means you should not marry this person. This is not rocket science. Surely this has occured to you. So do something about it. Link to post Share on other sites
Author YoungSuccesful Posted April 21, 2004 Author Share Posted April 21, 2004 Originally posted by Fritz Well, do you really? Are you sure its just not early lustful "lovers in love" fog rolling in? Cold feet with the fiance (or however its spelled) thats prompting this? Ask yourself why this is happening. Why are you so in love with this new gal, etc. etc.. If you really feel for this gal, tell her but don't string either of them along. Don't play with people's emotions. Aka, fish or cut bait bud. Good point... Things are cloudy...but I think my feelings for the new gal are beyond "lust" and they are GENIUNE Link to post Share on other sites
Author YoungSuccesful Posted April 21, 2004 Author Share Posted April 21, 2004 Originally posted by Debster Putting aside the fact that you are cheating and claiming to be in love with this new woman. The fact that you claim to not have and Clearly means you should not marry this person. This is not rocket science. Surely this has occured to you. So do something about it. TRUE... My finacee' is Incredible and would make a GREAT WIFE and MOTHER... Thats why I cant figure out why my dumba$$ is considering not being with her But, yes I do enjoy (JUST AT THIS MOMENT) being with the guys and working more than being with her... I know feel an OBLIGATION TO BOTH GIRLS not to hurt them and one is my finacee' and the other is a 3 week old relationship...HOW IS THAT POSSIBLE? Link to post Share on other sites
magda Posted April 21, 2004 Share Posted April 21, 2004 I personally think the great thing about love is the lasting quality of it. I don't think it's possible to truly love until you've been through a lot together and made it last. All feelings of love before the relationship has matured through difficulty are mostly attachment & as you mention, infatuation. If you truly long for love in your life, do you think you long for a stable, loving relationship that you can count on despite everything else changing? It may be the most stupid thing Ive ever done but I enjoy doing the other things more than being with my fiancee' now... How does that happen? Well, you have to expect a relationship to wind down after awhile. Maybe she isn't the best match for you or maybe you're expecting some kind of eternal, heart-racing, romeo&juliet type affair. Expecting that to last is misguided. Falling in love & commiting to one partner doesn't mean that you stop noticing other people you might get on well with & being attracted to others or enjoying spending time with friends apart from them .. Doing that is perfectly natural - you just know that you've got a sweet fuggin deal with your babers that you're going to make last. How long have you & your fiance been engaged? One more thing, if you really love girl#2, you might consider taking a few steps back & evaluating your approach to relationships in depth - if only for her sake. What if you do the same thing to girl#2 that you're doing to #1 because you're just not ready for a serious relationship? Link to post Share on other sites
Author YoungSuccesful Posted April 21, 2004 Author Share Posted April 21, 2004 we have been engaged for 7 months... Take a step back...why...? Link to post Share on other sites
Debster Posted April 21, 2004 Share Posted April 21, 2004 because if you take a step back, you might be able to tuck your dick back in your pants and be able to create a relationship based on honesty, trust, respect. Link to post Share on other sites
HiDDeN PiGLeT Posted April 21, 2004 Share Posted April 21, 2004 there's never too late or early to say "i love you" esp when you do love the person or mean it. but only say it if you mean it. same goes for "i'm sorry." Link to post Share on other sites
Author YoungSuccesful Posted April 21, 2004 Author Share Posted April 21, 2004 Originally posted by Debster because if you take a step back, you might be able to tuck your dick back in your pants and be able to create a relationship based on honesty, trust, respect. You just dont like me do you... My dick hasnt left my pants with this new girl yet...and honestly hasnt been a contributing factor anywhere... Link to post Share on other sites
Debster Posted April 21, 2004 Share Posted April 21, 2004 Ok, I guess I must explain. What I meant was that you are thinking with your dick. You can argue all you want, but you have demonstrated through your posts that you have absolutely no concept of what it is like to be in a committed relationship built on honestry, trust and respect - let alone the meaning of the word love. Why on earth you are engaged is shocking to me. I know people get themselves in jams and realize it and come to this board to try to fix it. That I can understand and I sympathize and provide advice/comments. What I don't understand are the people that do come on this board and spill their guts and then not do anything to fix it - and some even come on here just to boast about their behaviour. It is like they want to continue this downward spiral. Quite frankly, I haven't decided yet if 1) you are just making up these posts, or 2) you really are that out to lunch. Either way, you are my bit o' Jerry Springer of the day. Link to post Share on other sites
Author YoungSuccesful Posted April 22, 2004 Author Share Posted April 22, 2004 haha...ok Link to post Share on other sites
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