Panic attacks upon realization moments

[RuinedLife]

OK, so I guess I'm going to get told to snap out of it, stop indulging in self pity so much etc. And I completely agree that my post-break up depression and despair has gone on for too long. Far too long. But I've been having at lot of panic attacks and despairing attacks because of my break up still. I think I'm getting better sometimes, but every time I really realize that my relationship is over and that my ex doesn't love me anymore, everything hits me all over again and I have really bad panic attacks.

 

I'm on anti-anxiety medication, sleeping tablets and anti-depressants so those help, but I still have panic attacks when I realize the love of my life and best friend is gone and doesn't care about me anymore. But I'm reading a lot of self help books and leaning on family for support especially since my physical health has been so bad so that is helping me too.

 

I guess I'm just venting here. So please dont be too hard on me right now, I'm feeling very fragile with all this. But I am very thankful for all the support I've received on here. Means a lot to me. And really helps keep me going. Just getting from one day to the next is a huge struggle for me as I have a lot of dark thoughts, but this place as really helped keep me going. So thank you all.

[dicky_fish]

It happens to all of us. I had a massive panic attack tonight when I realised that my girlfriend had been the centre of my social life for the last 3 years and the scary thought that I'm going to be totally alone in my monotonus life for quite some time because I was so foolish to let her become my everything without keeping some part of me just for me.

 

Hang in there RL, I've been keeping an eye on all your posts since I joined this site and I can totally sympathise with your situation and I really wish you all the best xx

 

Just concentrate on the good points when you get them

[Art_Critic]

You need to sink yourself into something that would remove your ex from your thoughts.. working out.. projects around the house..

 

I was known for creating wordworking projects that kept my mind off breakups..

I once after a breakup that I got hurt in finished off my basement and it took 6 months, after the basement was finished I was ready to date again

 

Everybody has their "own" thing they do to get over someone.. you just have to find yours and force yourself to use it...

[radrluv72]

Panic attacks...anxiety attacks...spontaneous crying fits...loss of sense of self...I think that would pretty much sum up the first 3-4 months after my ex dumped me, so I'm right there with you. It was the first time I'd ever truly fallen in love, and I thought that by some miracle, I'd finally found the person that had everything that I always wanted in someone, and so much more to boot. Next thing I know, he freaked on me & dumped me. So I can certainly understand what you've been going through...I wouldn't want to wish feeling that kind of devastation to anyone. And frankly, anyone who said "Oh, just stop thinking about him" I literally could have laid out.

 

Keep your chin up...eventually, things do get better.

[thelovingkind]

Yep, I'm getting near the very end of grieving now. Most of the ambient sadness has gone, the reconciliation fantasies are faded, I'm actually looking forward to the new dates I'm going to go on and exciting people I'm going to meet. But I still get those moments where my heart flips and I go suddenly cold and remember that it's over, the spark has died and the chemistry between us is gone for all eternity. I will fall in love again, he will fall in love again, our ships have sailed and I'm okay with that. But it's sad, ain't it People can go from best friends and lovers to strangers so quick.

[amethyste]

Panic attacks...anxiety attacks...spontaneous crying fits...loss of sense of self...I think that would pretty much sum up the first 3-4 months after my ex dumped me, so I'm right there with you. It was the first time I'd ever truly fallen in love, and I thought that by some miracle, I'd finally found the person that had everything that I always wanted in someone, and so much more to boot. Next thing I know, he freaked on me & dumped me. So I can certainly understand what you've been going through...I wouldn't want to wish feeling that kind of devastation to anyone. And frankly, anyone who said "Oh, just stop thinking about him" I literally could have laid out.

 

Keep your chin up...eventually, things do get better.

 

*agrees*

(one minute later) *agrees some more*

The same thing happened to me too; and if I'm thinking better, it took me around 1 year to end up in a state when I'm not constantly thinking about the whole stuff (like I did in the beginning). 1 year later, after my 1st week of NC... I'm still hurt.

RuinedLife - what happened to your relationship?

[RuinedLife]

*agrees*

(one minute later) *agrees some more*

The same thing happened to me too; and if I'm thinking better, it took me around 1 year to end up in a state when I'm not constantly thinking about the whole stuff (like I did in the beginning). 1 year later, after my 1st week of NC... I'm still hurt.

RuinedLife - what happened to your relationship?

 

A whole year Scary stuff. Sorry to hear you've been struggling for so long. Been over 6 months for me now and to be honest most days I feel the same despair I did at the start of the break up. Probably because I'm still really struggling to accept that its really over and that my ex is never coming back and because my love for him is as strong as ever and his image forever with me in my mind. Also because I have no other friends and no other life as I've been so ill I've not been able to go out at all to meet new people or do new things. Instead I have only the internet, TV and books to distract me and you guys here on Love Shack are now the best friends I've got. I have family, but they are so busy I hardly ever see them and spend nearly all day every day alone in my room, sick in bed or on the sofa in front of the TV.

 

What happened to my relationship?

 

Well thats a long story, but mainly it was my insecurities and anxiety issues that ruined it. I always tried to keep these issues hidden from my ex for the most part, but especially towards the end of the relationship these issues came to the surface more and more and he just couldn't deal with me anymore I think. But if you want to know the specific situation that triggered my break up read my threads in the jealousy section.

Edited July 2, 2011 by RuinedLife

[Rea333]

Yep, I'm getting near the very end of grieving now. Most of the ambient sadness has gone, the reconciliation fantasies are faded, I'm actually looking forward to the new dates I'm going to go on and exciting people I'm going to meet. But I still get those moments where my heart flips and I go suddenly cold and remember that it's over, the spark has died and the chemistry between us is gone for all eternity. I will fall in love again, he will fall in love again, our ships have sailed and I'm okay with that. But it's sad, ain't it People can go from best friends and lovers to strangers so quick.

 

what a lovely post! That's exactly how I feel. I'm more up than down these days (almost 4 months in) and the reconciliation dreams have long gone. For me, the first month was simply awful. Crying, panic attacks at the realisation I was suddenly single etc. Now whilst I have to be honest and say I'm not a massive fan of being single (oh who am I kidding, I hate it!) I have learnt to make the most of this situation until it changes.

[Wesker]

So being a month out of my almost 8 year relationship, with No Contact all this time, I prolly have a ways to go before I'm back to the guy I was before being with her? Waking up is the worst for me since I know she'll never be there by me again in the morning.