Do we ever truly move on?

[SilverLining]

Once, I was the happiest girl in the world. As many of you have experienced, I was desperately in love. I met my ex in my early 20s with several long term relationships and a failed engagement under my belt, and what I felt was beyond anything I'd experienced before or after. I KNEW. That surety carried me through 6 years of endless rejection, breakups and reconciliations, his emotional affair and the counseling he begged me to go to, and an engagement which he broke off saying that he never actually wanted to marry me. Then I willingly subjected myself to being used for sex for over a year while he dated other girls, always hoping he would realize my worth. He never did.

 

July marks the 4th year since our engagement ended. I've been single and casually dating for most of it. I've just recently agreed to an exclusive relationship and now so many feelings that I thought were buried are rising to the surface. Although this guy treats me well and I see some potential there, I have nowhere near the same intensity of emotion for him as I did for my ex. I'm not as excited, I'm not as happy. I tell myself to slow down - we just started this relationship and it's too soon to know...but in reality I remember that from the beginning I was wild about my ex and couldn't spend enough time with him, do enough for him, get enough of him. I'm always struggling mentally - do I not like my boyfriend enough and should I just dump him? Am I expecting too much? Will I never have those feelings again? Am I so afraid to trust that I'm subconsciously sabotaging my new relationship? Will I ever KNOW about anyone else, ever again? I've been on hundreds of dates and never experienced anything similar.

 

My ex has been dating a girl for over a year now. I wonder if he KNOWS about her, and thinks he wasted 6 years on me. I hate the person I now know my ex to be, but I feel like after all this time, I still love him in some ways. For the most part I have moved on, but I still think about him and once in awhile I still cry over it. I'm an incredible person, but deep down I feel inadequate because I couldn't figure out how to make him see my worth. I feel empty and alone, even now, when I'm with someone who I know is falling for me hard.

[Karala]

Yes, for God's sake, people do move on from breakups.

 

I think it's a self-esteem thing, still waiting to be resolved. The whole thing of not wanting to be part of a club that would take you for a member.

 

Your ex was a challenge, you wanted to finally win him, make him see your worth, but is that what love is supposed to be about?

The highs, the lows, the breakups and reconciliations, the endless rejection you mention...

 

Please, get your head straight, define your priorities, think long and hard about what you want from a relationship. I suggest "being cherished, adored and treated like a queen" over "being kept on a never-ending emotional roller coaster ride"

 

and forget about "KNOWING". You "KNEW" about your boyfriend, and you were mistaken, he proved that to you when he dumped you, or when you had to dump him. You don't "know". You decide.

[dng]

 

Pas mal le cover. Excellent meme. Bravo.

[Graceful]

Silverlining,

 

Your screen name says it all. You saw the silver lining with your ex, and he was hardly worth it.

 

Relationships are not supposed to be two people struggling, off one minute, on the next, guessing games, ego crushers, two people using each other, years of mental torment, emotional cheating and abuse, rejection, and ... shall I go on?

 

SO if that's what you call "knowing" I'm left to ask what exactly did you "know" -- I hope it's that you knew your ex was a real cad and a juicebag.

 

Why are you trying to recreate something that was all WRONG for you on every level? Why do you want to feel the same way that left you defeated and hurt with your ex? Why do you think that will work for you? That was not healthy and all it did was lower your self-esteem and defeat you.

 

You're a different person now than you were when you met your ex, and if you haven't learned anything from that experience, then you need to take a step back now so you don't make the same mistakes. Coming on strong, the fast and furious romance -- well, that's not the way to go, you know? What's wrong with sweet, slow and steady, getting to know someone, letting that person dote on you, or create a friendship and taking it slow?

 

More than that, recognize you are not a kid anymore. You're an adult, so treat your relationships like an adult, and with maturity. Stop living in the past or you are going to miss out on what's right in front of your eyes: a present, a real present that could be just right for you, all wrapped up in a totally different person who is trying to show you that you are worth it. Don't go backwards, that's not a good place, unless you do it to remind yourself of how horrible your ex made you feel so you can be thankful that he is out of your life. What you cry about is the pain your ex put you through, not the love you think you feel. That relationship was a series of blows to your self-esteem, making you more and more vulnerable at every turn. Don't allow anyone to treat you like that ever again.

 

And to answer your question: YES. "We" (as in those of us who get help and put effort into the healing process) move on, we really do. If you haven't done so, then get some help because your relationship did a number on you, and you should not covet what you used to have on any level. Now appreciate what you have in the here and now and stop putting any value on the opinions, actions, or feelings of your ex because they have no value at all, and I hope you come to terms with that very soon.

 

Now take care, and give the guy you are with a little smooch, treat him nice and give him a chance. That's what's going to make you feel good, believe me. Relax and be in the moment. Have a lovely day.

[Karala]

Pas mal le cover. Excellent meme. Bravo.

 

Hey, thanks! ^^

[Miky]

Silverlining,

 

I read your post and I had to change from a "lurker" mode in these forums to actually write a response, This is extremely relevant as I am asking myself somewhat the same question.

 

I myself also went trough a very hard breakup when I was on my 20s

I was more of a nerdy type in those days, not many chances of relationships with the ladies I have to say, coupled with shyness and introverted personality and the mere fact that I was not a party animal or notable don joan to I did not have many dates or much of meaningful relationships at those days.

With all that I manage to get 1 girl to notice me, I got lucky, she was beautiful toll blond, a ballet dancer, very talented and smart, many many wanted to date her, tried and failed, and me ? at the time, I did not even thought I had a chance, she was a hard 10, I was a mere 6 may be a 7(form she is out of his league movie)n one day I hit the jackpot Karma worked in my favor, I was able to work with her during some collage special volunteering program, one thing led to another, with careful planning I manage to get her to go out with me on a date, one date led to another and with her falling for me I was on the top of the world. you can understand the feeling, I was happy and proud of my self, the relationship held for 18 months, we were very close and already made plans to get married, names for kids, the whole 9 yards, all that until she got accepted to a special student exchange program in a different country, she had no doubt about going and did not even thought twice about our relationship

she simply packed and went there.

 

well guess what, within 6 months of starting on her new program I got the dear john speech, "I love you but not in love with you" line or the better version of it, "I know I may be sorry in 10 years but I need to do that for me right now", or "it is not you but me" boy that hurt, and the worst part of it is that within a few days of separation, on one of my feeble attempts to get her back during an expensive trip, visiting her at her place abroad she announced that she is dating a new guy, someone she was studying together with since she moved to the new program.

 

I was doomed, tossed like an unused piece of trash, the devastation was deep, I broke in to million pieces, I did all the classical mistakes begged and pleaded and groveled, no chance in hell, we all know this will never work, I kind of knew as well, all that took around 3-4 weeks and I reluctantly went to NC mode immediately after.

 

Now remember, this happened in the 80s, no internet, no facebook ,no forums like this one to give you advice, I was living with my parents at that time, they were old school and did not understand how I can fall so hard on my face for this Girl, so minimal help understanding and support from them,

I have met her once on the University Campus around 8 months mark after the break up, I could hardly speak to her, almost choked from excitement, but that was it, we have never met or connected ever again, in the mean time, slowly, with a lot of work, hard work on my self, with a bit of counseling, I managed to step out of the darkness, started to go out with friends met new girls and met my girlfriend which later become my wife, for 25 years I kept thinking of my ex, at the first few years it was like a string of energy was still connecting us together, I could almost feel her, this went for many years even trough my relationship with my wife,don't get me wrong I love my wife but I felt a connection still exists with my ex in a different level, although there was no communication between us, our life circles did touched from time to time and throughout the years I would get a piece of info on her from common acquaintance.

 

With the years going by, the invisible string become thinner and thinner, I had a family of my own and had to go trough my own life challenges, I have never seen her in these 25 years, I knew she married this guy she dated from the program and had his children, but not much information other then that.

 

All this until October 2010, in the last few years Facebook and social networking is becoming widespread and accepted, and as such technology is available and accessible, it presents some unique opportunities that if not existent would be impossible to occur, the ability to connect with people from your past, People that that in normal circumstances the odds of meeting, let alone speaking with would be extremely remote has been a blessing in many situations ( the same as it can be a curse to some...)

 

With me working in the IT field and understanding the power of the Internet and its possibilities and also an adopter of social networking for both means of communications and business ventures, It was not a difficult task to search her Facebook profile (out of a nostalgic curiosity)so out of impulse,I did ,and low and behold, bingo, there she was.

 

That was a bit if a shocker, the 20 year old beautiful blond that I remembered was no longer there, (yes yes, I am not a male model either I know) the lady in the pictures I did not know, she was a complete stranger, someone with a familiar face, no more the tall long legged ballerina that I used to know, never the less it trow me a curve ball, mixed emotions started to come up, and the old gut wrenching familiar pain stated to creep deep down in your soul, the pain that you remember from many years ago, this debilitating pain that caused me to be out of whack for almost 2 years after the break up, so after a short check on her profile, some satisfaction of the stalking urges to look at her profile, I suddenly felt emptiness, it is like the string of connection was severed, I could look at the picture and suddenly no more feeling would come up, I felt that I am getting truly free of her after all these years, I guess my imagination and my mind "idealized" her in a way and kept me with no real closure on this relationship.

 

So to summarize, you never really recover fully or "move on" so to speak, in many cases you push these feelings in to compartments of your heart that they do not affect you and bother you as much any more, I knew I needed closure for myself but I knew I was never going to get it, she did not wanted to be with me at the time and that was it, she was with me for a very short period of time of her life and most of it with someone else (and myself as well for that matter) and this is the hard reality of it all it is useless to waste any more energy or emotions on a person that most likely be looking at you as an interference to their life (then and now).

 

I will never initiate any form of contact with her,I have no interest, nor want to bother her in any way, it is a liberating experience to get these buried feelings and set them free.

[voels]

Miky, thanks for sharing that. I read every single word of it

[BlindRage]

Silverlining,

 

I read your post and I had to change from a "lurker" mode in these forums to actually write a response, This is extremely relevant as I am asking myself somewhat the same question.

 

I myself also went trough a very hard breakup when I was on my 20s

I was more of a nerdy type in those days, not many chances of relationships with the ladies I have to say, coupled with shyness and introverted personality and the mere fact that I was not a party animal or notable don joan to I did not have many dates or much of meaningful relationships at those days.

With all that I manage to get 1 girl to notice me, I got lucky, she was beautiful toll blond, a ballet dancer, very talented and smart, many many wanted to date her, tried and failed, and me ? at the time, I did not even thought I had a chance, she was a hard 10, I was a mere 6 may be a 7(form she is out of his league movie)n one day I hit the jackpot Karma worked in my favor, I was able to work with her during some collage special volunteering program, one thing led to another, with careful planning I manage to get her to go out with me on a date, one date led to another and with her falling for me I was on the top of the world. you can understand the feeling, I was happy and proud of my self, the relationship held for 18 months, we were very close and already made plans to get married, names for kids, the whole 9 yards, all that until she got accepted to a special student exchange program in a different country, she had no doubt about going and did not even thought twice about our relationship

she simply packed and went there.

 

well guess what, within 6 months of starting on her new program I got the dear john speech, "I love you but not in love with you" line or the better version of it, "I know I may be sorry in 10 years but I need to do that for me right now", or "it is not you but me" boy that hurt, and the worst part of it is that within a few days of separation, on one of my feeble attempts to get her back during an expensive trip, visiting her at her place abroad she announced that she is dating a new guy, someone she was studying together with since she moved to the new program.

 

I was doomed, tossed like an unused piece of trash, the devastation was deep, I broke in to million pieces, I did all the classical mistakes begged and pleaded and groveled, no chance in hell, we all know this will never work, I kind of knew as well, all that took around 3-4 weeks and I reluctantly went to NC mode immediately after.

 

Now remember, this happened in the 80s, no internet, no facebook ,no forums like this one to give you advice, I was living with my parents at that time, they were old school and did not understand how I can fall so hard on my face for this Girl, so minimal help understanding and support from them,

I have met her once on the University Campus around 8 months mark after the break up, I could hardly speak to her, almost choked from excitement, but that was it, we have never met or connected ever again, in the mean time, slowly, with a lot of work, hard work on my self, with a bit of counseling, I managed to step out of the darkness, started to go out with friends met new girls and met my girlfriend which later become my wife, for 25 years I kept thinking of my ex, at the first few years it was like a string of energy was still connecting us together, I could almost feel her, this went for many years even trough my relationship with my wife,don't get me wrong I love my wife but I felt a connection still exists with my ex in a different level, although there was no communication between us, our life circles did touched from time to time and throughout the years I would get a piece of info on her from common acquaintance.

 

With the years going by, the invisible string become thinner and thinner, I had a family of my own and had to go trough my own life challenges, I have never seen her in these 25 years, I knew she married this guy she dated from the program and had his children, but not much information other then that.

 

All this until October 2010, in the last few years Facebook and social networking is becoming widespread and accepted, and as such technology is available and accessible, it presents some unique opportunities that if not existent would be impossible to occur, the ability to connect with people from your past, People that that in normal circumstances the odds of meeting, let alone speaking with would be extremely remote has been a blessing in many situations ( the same as it can be a curse to some...)

 

With me working in the IT field and understanding the power of the Internet and its possibilities and also an adopter of social networking for both means of communications and business ventures, It was not a difficult task to search her Facebook profile (out of a nostalgic curiosity)so out of impulse,I did ,and low and behold, bingo, there she was.

 

That was a bit if a shocker, the 20 year old beautiful blond that I remembered was no longer there, (yes yes, I am not a male model either I know) the lady in the pictures I did not know, she was a complete stranger, someone with a familiar face, no more the tall long legged ballerina that I used to know, never the less it trow me a curve ball, mixed emotions started to come up, and the old gut wrenching familiar pain stated to creep deep down in your soul, the pain that you remember from many years ago, this debilitating pain that caused me to be out of whack for almost 2 years after the break up, so after a short check on her profile, some satisfaction of the stalking urges to look at her profile, I suddenly felt emptiness, it is like the string of connection was severed, I could look at the picture and suddenly no more feeling would come up, I felt that I am getting truly free of her after all these years, I guess my imagination and my mind "idealized" her in a way and kept me with no real closure on this relationship.

 

So to summarize, you never really recover fully or "move on" so to speak, in many cases you push these feelings in to compartments of your heart that they do not affect you and bother you as much any more, I knew I needed closure for myself but I knew I was never going to get it, she did not wanted to be with me at the time and that was it, she was with me for a very short period of time of her life and most of it with someone else (and myself as well for that matter) and this is the hard reality of it all it is useless to waste any more energy or emotions on a person that most likely be looking at you as an interference to their life (then and now).

 

I will never initiate any form of contact with her,I have no interest, nor want to bother her in any way, it is a liberating experience to get these buried feelings and set them free.

 

 

So was she still attractive or not?

[Sugarkane]

Miky wow that was a sad read. Its pretty depressing that you can love someone so much, but all they see you as an "interference" in their life as you say. And move on like nothing ever happened.

[Sugarkane]

I think this is also probably the only way I would get any closure aswell.

[SilverLining]

Thank you to everyone who responded, and especially to you Miky. I'm glad you understand what I am dealing with now.

 

Alright. For starters, our relationship was characterized by a 90:10 ratio - 90% of the time, we were the envy of all our friends. Then without warning and to the shock and confusion of his friends and family, my ex would say he wasn't happy and dump me within a week. Obviously things weren't good on his end but he hid it very, very well. When I say I KNEW, I mean that I had, from very early on, an unquestionable surety that this was who I wanted to spend the rest of my life with. This had nothing to do with appearance or physical connection, and it continued although he consistently disappointed me. But you don't love people because they deserve it. You simply love them because you can't help it.

 

I know who my ex was, and is. I know he is flawed. I know he wrecked my heart. I don't respect him and I don't like him as a person anymore and THAT has been the hardest part of all of this. I'm not interested in a reconciliation and I find myself to have become a better, more whole person without him. It has been 4 years, and for most of that I have dated and have thought less and less of my ex.

 

My issue is that now that I have a boyfriend again, that pain is resurfacing. I don't think this is a lack of maturity or a desire to go back to a person who hurt me a great deal. I worry that I won't feel about anyone as intensely as I felt about my ex. I agree he did a number on me - I have been a serial dater, going on 2-3 dates a week and always finding reasons to stay single. Clearly I have trust issues. I've put myself on the line with this new relationship, and in more ways than one. I met my current boyfriend on an employment forum - we both accepted jobs in the Middle East. I'll be away for a couple years in a place where I will not be able to date since it is not permissible to really interact with men. I just turned 30, I'm moving in a month, and I really want this new relationship to work out long term but I'm worried because I don't seem to have that intensity there. We are compatible on many levels and we enjoy each other's company, but I feel like there should be something more.

 

I worry that no matter where I am, what I do, or who I am with, my ex will always be at the back of my mind. I worry that I'll never feel as fulfilled with anyone else.

[Miky]

So was she still attractive or not?

 

Well, she was no longer the 20 year old that I was madly in love with, she is a 45 years old woman now, and the ideal picture that was in my mind was not matching the reality, yes, after the initial shock I felt the urge to message her and make contact, there are still worm feelings you keep for someone you loved so much in your past, and the ease of communications Facebook is offering is very tempting to say the least, I have read some articles about falling in love at a young age, it is much more intense experience, one that etched in to your mere existence and affects and shapes you for ever, but no,after the initial shock, I managed to collect myself and do nothing about it, at that stage, after I satisfied my desire to learn all I could from her profile I realized that I did not find the woman on the screen much attractive, it is like real life catching up with you and that is it, I was free of her.

[Miky]

Silverlining

 

I fully understand you, I have been there, I met my wife about 2 years after separating from this Girl, I was pretty much still in the "fog" for the relationship I had with my ex at that time, My Wife was different, even physical traits were different my wife is a brunette, was not a ballerina by far and personality wise very different then my ex, I also went trough the motions questioning and doubting myself, thinking I will never be able to form another meaningful relationship as I had with my ex, but that is a mistake, there is a survival mechanism in each of us, mine was to look hard at myself and use the previous relationship as a learning platform (as I was very inexperienced before in all counts of him and her) , I learned well, I am with my wife for 24 years now (Married 21 of those) so yes you will have those feelings to your ex and inhibitions with regards of trusting and forming new relationships, your ex will always be there in the deep compartments of your heart, where you boxed that pain and feelings for him,communicate with your boyfriend openly, if he is a decent man with who truly loves you he will understand and work with you, the second time around will not be so intense as your emotional protection mechanism will put checks and balances in place to prevent you from getting hurt again, but if this guy is good for you you will have a more stable and "sane" relationship with him, one that you can carry for many years ahead and not the emotional crazies that you had with your ex, you will always have these doubts, but you will need to keep them in check to make it work

[Miky]

Miky wow that was a sad read. Its pretty depressing that you can love someone so much, but all they see you as an "interference" in their life as you say. And move on like nothing ever happened.

 

 

Sugarkane

 

yes, some people has that ability to detach, looking back at the relationship and how things played, I think she had some traits of BPD/NPD but nothing I could put my finger on at the time as people with the above hardly manage to keep long term relationships (which is not in her case).

 

She was/is highly intelligent woman, and had the ability to suppress emotions and rationalize situations for herself in a cold hardhearted fashion, almost cruel, when she needed to make decisions (hence her leaving for the overseas program without thinking twice about it)

and this is how she justified dumping me at the time, one other thing that she said at the time was " you will never be able to fulfill my dreams nor be able to help me achieve my goals in life as you are not good enough"

and that hurts big time to hear from someone that you loved so much.

 

Karma works in mysterious ways. she is working today as a self proclaimed life coach,nothing much to it from what I have learned, I did well in my line of business, I am self employed running my own business in the IS/IT field doing well this is my sweet revenge on her as I guess that my Facebook profile is as open to her as her to mine...

 

Sorry Silvelining, I had no intention to hijack your thread but I wanted to share my experience to you and for you to have a chance to see from a future point of view of a possible outcome for you

[Graceful]

Silverlining,

 

I don't doubt that pain is resurfacing, and I understand your fears, because you can only go with what you are familiar with at this point in your life. You are "familiar" with the type of connection you felt with your ex, but you are not familiar with a different type of connection, the one, let's say, you have with your current BF. A slower, more steady, more calm connection. It's different. No two people are alike, and no two relationships are alike. And you can't possibly feel the "same" for one person as you do for another, as people will evoke different reactions and feelings from you.

 

And sorry, but to every thing there is a season, so to speak. I believe that you don't want your ex back, but the idea you want to feel the same way, years later in your life, is not necessarily realistic. There are many examples of people who don't even LIKE each other when they meet who go on to form the deepest bonds possible in a relationship or marriage.

 

When I say I KNEW, I mean that I had, from very early on, an unquestionable surety that this was who I wanted to spend the rest of my life with. This had nothing to do with appearance or physical connection, and it continued although he consistently disappointed me. But you don't love people because they deserve it. You simply love them because you can't help it.

Well, sister, you have to admit there is a bit of irony to what you have written. You knew? You knew nothing of the kind. Did you end up with him? Did he feel the same way? Did you? It's more like you "thought you knew" because if you "knew" you would be with him, and he would have felt the same. You can't say you know that you belong with someone when they are running in the opposite direction and treating you poorly. You can say, I "thought" I knew, and I thought I was right ... but I guess I didn't know as much as I thought I did.

 

To insist you should be with this man one minute, then say you don't want him now ... well, that makes no sense, now does it? And along those lines, it's not going to be possible to get rid of those feelings if you can't admit that you did in fact feel that way at one time, but after the relationship went downhill, you "knew" he was not the right guy for you after all.

 

Believe me, I have had those feelings myself, after living with someone for 8 years and thinking that I "knew" something as well ... but I guess I didn't, because we are not together and I can admit that I was off the mark.

 

I understand full on what you are dealing with, believe me. I see it differently than you, and didn't write my story, but I know what it feels like to fall like a ton of bricks and feel like "the search" is over. What happened to Mlky is extremely common, more common that anyone wants to admit, in fact. "The one that got away" -- "the first true love" -- "the one I can't forget" -- we all have them, silver, you're not the only one. And yes, it's a matter of maturity to learn to accept the end of a relationship, tuck the emotions away at some point, and grow.

 

I just turned 30, I'm moving in a month, and I really want this new relationship to work out long term but I'm worried because I don't seem to have that intensity there. We are compatible on many levels and we enjoy each other's company, but I feel like there should be something more.

Well, maybe the r/l with your current BF isn't right for you. It may just not be, but it 'should' have nothing to do with your past experience with your ex. You're either feelin' it or you're not feelin' it. I'm not sure I understand the logistics of your move and where this BF will be (is he moving, too, but you can't date him while you are re-located?) -- but it's a heck of a way to conduct a LDR, if you ask me. You can't visit each other? You can't see each other? All you can do is judge your feelings for your BF for what they are today, and not compare them to your ex. Trust your gut, because if you don't feel strongly enough for him, let him go. That's only fair to him. Take care.

[BlindRage]

Well, she was no longer the 20 year old that I was madly in love with, she is a 45 years old woman now, and the ideal picture that was in my mind was not matching the reality, yes, after the initial shock I felt the urge to message her and make contact, there are still worm feelings you keep for someone you loved so much in your past, and the ease of communications Facebook is offering is very tempting to say the least, I have read some articles about falling in love at a young age, it is much more intense experience, one that etched in to your mere existence and affects and shapes you for ever, but no,after the initial shock, I managed to collect myself and do nothing about it, at that stage, after I satisfied my desire to learn all I could from her profile I realized that I did not find the woman on the screen much attractive, it is like real life catching up with you and that is it, I was free of her.

 

Thats great to hear Miky and you explain it really well. Congratulations. I think I understand where you are coming from and I'm also hoping in 20 sum years I will be able to see a different person than the one I loved. (the shell still remains the same even though she's a stranger to me now)

[Miky]

Thats great to hear Miky and you explain it really well. Congratulations. I think I understand where you are coming from and I'm also hoping in 20 sum years I will be able to see a different person than the one I loved. (the shell still remains the same even though she's a stranger to me now)

 

 

Thanks BlindRage, I have read your threads, I can assure you that in 20 years time you will look at this from exactly the same or even better position, one thing I have to say, don't give your ex powers over you that she does not deserve, stay fully NC for your own sake and improve yourself to be the better person here, Karma will catch up with the ex in one way or another, being successful is the best exercised revenge that you can serve your ex and it is very sweet (from experience).

 

[BlindRage]

Thanks BlindRage, I have read your threads, I can assure you that in 20 years time you will look at this from exactly the same or even better position, one thing I have to say, don't give your ex powers over you that she does not deserve, stay fully NC for your own sake and improve yourself to be the better person here, Karma will catch up with the ex in one way or another, being successful is the best exercised revenge that you can serve your ex and it is very sweet (from experience).

 

 

 

I hope that I do have your perspective on this when the time comes. Yea, NC is not a problem for me anymore, even if I did speak to her.. what would we even talk about? Theres no point in talking to her nor even any conversation we would have. I've been taking the view of a fellow user "debtman", he's great in all his advice. It's really useful and in many ways en-powering to live your life (because you only have one). I'm a strong believer in Karma, I hope that things go well for her but in a deep dark hole in my heart, I wish she could feel everything she put me through. I don't want to let her break me more (or the thought of her). I'm just trying to pick up my pieces and take my time to fully restore myself.

 

Thanks Miky,

Your story was really helpful to hear