Everest_21 Posted July 2, 2011 Share Posted July 2, 2011 Well it's been 1yr since fate reduced me from a full time father to a footnote cum visitor in my daughter's life . It's hard sharing things even as I write flashbacks of the past keep on coming back into my mind. I was with the mother of my kid for 6 yrs. last 2 as a parent . Let me begin with that I was not ready to become a father . I had always wanted to buy a house and have sufficient savings before I embraced fatherhood but fate had other plans and well I stepped up to the task thrown at my face . Unexpected children well they add stress to any relationship and believe me raising a kid requires a proper planning and discussion before we step-up . Well here goes my story . During the last half yrs(during which DD was born) of our relationship I was working day in & day out so that I could give my DD the best . Hence fatigue and tiredness kept me from having active sex life like before our daughter came along but hey I was spending every ****in' quality time . Well come August 2009 I find everything well most of the things of my house moved out and no news of DD or GF whatsoever . I call at her parents nobody picks up call all her friends up but body nobody ****ing knows where **** is she with my kid . I spent the night in complete and utter horror . I approached the police who assured me to an eye out for her but do not register a missing persons report . Well next afternoon she calls saying she's moved to another city 150 miles away . DD is with her and she's not coming back . Come to find out that she's netted some spoiled but rich young kid and now living in his apartment . You cant imagine the rage that took over me I nearly ****ing destroyed everything in the house and had police called upon for disturbing the neighbours and spent the night in jail . Just thinking about losing everything and pushed aside and the very fact that my efforts in making our life beautiful went unappreciated nearly took away the will to live from within me . I was subsequently treated for nervous breakdown and was discharged 2 months later . I was lucky that my employer was highly grateful for my services and kept me hitched on to the job. Professionally since then I succeeded well and I am earning 3X of what I earned back then but personally I still have not been able to gain equal access to my Daughter . I am roughly allowed to meet her twice a month while I pay nearly for her total upkeep . Been making rounds of the courts every week for the past 2yrs just so that I can see here more . Ex has moved back into the city few mots ago but still not giving me enough access to her although I pay for majority of my daughter's expenses . One thing that bugs me is that although I am ordered to take full responsibility of my kid the legal system still sides with the females and prevents me from meeting my Daughter completely . I feel Lost and spent . I just needed to vent as I have been unable to share my thoughts and feelings anymore openly anywhere else . Would be nice to hear advice and guidance from people in similar situations. Link to post Share on other sites
andyg99 Posted July 3, 2011 Share Posted July 3, 2011 wow - I am so sorry about your situation... I'm not sure how the laws are in your state (or country) but it seems like you should have more visitation... have you personally talked to the ex? since you are now living in the same city why wouldn't she be ok with you seeing your daughter more? I know this would be hard but why not present it as "hey, you can have more alone time with your new BF"... has she ever given you a reason why she only gives you twice a month?? Link to post Share on other sites
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